My body's toxins and limited physical capacity bars me to enjoy eating so I consume supplemental food for achieving a better well-being

in #life2 months ago

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I am balancing the pyramid from its head down always, if I fail or miss on what I am trying to control, then it will cost me more to the detriment of my overall well-being.

Ever since that my back and neck bone collapsed, it limited my capacity to eat foods in physical manner. I had talked about this over and over in the past to let the public know my stories about basically the way I live with this kind of rather rare bone condition which not only affected my social life but also my overall well-being leading to hopelessness and despair because of the deformities that happened plus the pain which is still plaguing me if not for the heaven-sent way of dealing with it which gave me a sense of hope again and try to live with what was left for me to enjoy. Anyway, my appetite had been also my problem as well because of the way that I am receiving my dialysis treatment which had been modified heavily by the former mentor of many nurses under the medical authority of my Nephrologist. So I would always feel that my blood is just inadequately dialyzed with my proof of having a high level of creatinine based on the laboratory tests which I guess that I had shown before here considering that I am using a high flux dialyzer aside for really not feeling the optimal clean which I had felt before when one of the former head nurses from my dialysis clinic was the one overseeing the dialysis operations over there about 14 years ago or so.

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I thought at first that the reason of my appetite loss was my medicine for my Leontiasis Ossea condition but after I weaned it off entirely a few years ago, the other side-effects went off but my appetite problem remained.

I could only blame the type of dialysis treatment that I get from my current dialysis clinic because I can compare it from the type of treatment that I had when I was confined to the national Kidney Center and transplant institute in Manila last year sometime in mid-April when I had to really go there to fix my already aching arterio-venous fistula and is already causing me much pain and loss of sleep because of that. I went for several dialysis treatments over there and I could say that their quality of dialysis treatment is "normal". For what I mean by normal treatment is that there are no more modifications about the treatment plan causing several bad things for the patient like being "injected" with salt and doing a play-safe mode where the patients is not given really a full treatment which cause them to "feel bad" because toxins in the body wasn't getting the ideal clearance you get compared to the normal way of the dialysis treatment process. The only thing that made it hard for me there was not getting the full water draw from my body. That is why I might feel clean and fresh but is already bloated because of inadequate water removal from my body. I thank God that I didn't drown with my lungs from the accumulated water that happened and it might be the cause of my temporary eyesight disfunction which I first thought was permanent. But as weeks go by after getting my weight down, my eyesight returned into its normal function and I was able to speak better because I am no long full of water which restricted my lung capacity to draw in air. That is why any changes about my lung capacity to draw in air will mean a lot of things like breathing issues, talking, and my strength because of my lungs having a very little capacity caused by the squeezing effect of my collapsed backbones.

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By my way of comparing the best dialysis quality is to experience it myself which is why I concluded that I am not getting the best clean ever from my current dialysis clinic to really give me the best possible well-being that a patient needs which should be the standard and yet with the current low standard already, it had been modified just to make survive and not enjoy life.

These changes in the cavity or space of my torso is not allowing me to store much fluid as before or it will affect my lungs as explained above. But regardless I can still eat good although again I have to limit it for the reason of "lack of space" in my body. Now that my appetite was poorer than ever, I can only eat much. The thing is that I can eat more and I can still manage these problematic things about my capacity, but since I am still inadequately dialyzed, I am also faster to feel the effect of toxins in my body which leads to a general ill-feeling, nausea, and this ammonia breathe which is plaguing me for many decades already. As a result I can never really eat that well and putting more calories in my body is challenge that I can never win over not to mention in consuming protein because my blood is always high in toxic protein "metabolites" and it will only take a few grams of protein to make me feel toxic already despite of my regular dialysis sessions of three time a week already. So if I will be dialyzed today, I still want to get dialyzed tomorrow and still it would not make me feel cleansed as the way I had before. So with regards to my eating habits, it will never change if not the dialysis process will change which in many points and ironically making my life a real struggle.

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Feeling toxic all the time makes me want to escape this body most of the time. So in effect I would not eat anymore and spending my waking hours to change it as my sleeping times.

Now with my daily low calorie intake together with a limited protein consumption to prevent the ill-effects of protein by-product build-up because of my already toxic blood, I just make it a point that it will stop there and maintain a daily healthy food consumption with my fruits and Moringa powder usage. I still eat regular foods but as always it is struggle to eat it hence, I have to supplement my diet with fruits, vegetables, and the Moringa powder so that I can be assured of good nutrition despite that I can no longer consume foods normally with a normal appetite again and in normal quantities and I just hope that the status quo will change if God wills it.

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I wish that I could consume more protein but I am always filled-up with by-products in my blood which is now never to be adequately cleaned, a part of my struggle which should not be a case which makes my physical body to wither and waste.


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