When the weekend comes, I like to hide from the public and spend time alone. This characteristic is perplexing to many people.
This hand-me-down camper used to be one of my private getaways, secluded in the woods on my Dad's property.
I don't dislike people, I just prefer to be away from them whenever I get the chance.
I "recharge" myself after a busy week by being alone in nature with my thoughts, a couple of beers, and a campfire. I perform my best creative and reflective thinking in such an environment. Many of my great ideas were born beside a fire, written down and sketched out in my notepad. One of my favorite Steemit posts, which I composed while camping, was: https://steemit.com/nature/@countryinspired/a-rejuvenating-night-camping-solo-in-the-woods
I can't help it. I feel most alive when I am secluded in nature.
This trait causes conflict, because I am married and have two young boys. A man cannot disappear into the woods for a whole weekend and expect his relationship with his wife and children to thrive. Therefore, in an effort to preserve my marriage and be a good father, I must extinguish my burning desire to always be alone in the woods. I sacrifice the activity that makes me feel whole in an effort to have a healthy family life. It certainly isn't an easy thing to do. It's like trying to domesticate a wild animal.
I know I am not alone. There are other introverts who share some of my feelings.
We tend to stay clear of crowded places. Tasks like going to the grocery store on a busy day seem daunting and overburdening. When we are in a large social setting, we are the ones who quietly observe other people rather than openly engage in conversations. We do not like crowded bars, long lines, or any activity that brings us in contact with multitudes of people. Even attending church can be difficult due to the associated social pressure.
Often times my quiet and reclusive nature has made people think I am an arrogant jerk. However, I consider myself very warm and friendly, and highly willing to engage in conversation. But I prefer a quiet setting, with no social pressure and background commotion. I believe this is why I enjoy Steemit so much! I get to engage with others without any pressure.
______________________________________________________
Introverts have to find a balance in life.
We cannot go through life with no contact with the world. We have jobs and social functions that we cannot avoid. So we have to balance those uncomfortable times with our brief periods of respite. We have to find our quiet time whenever we can, and cherish those moments like the prized treasure they are.
So if you are introverted like me, stay strong and never feel ashamed. Although we stay hidden in the background, that doesn't mean we aren't doing great things with our lives!
I will conclude this post with an image of a humble campfire, where I find deep peace and protection from the crazy outside world.
I totally understand the need to get away from people. Your camper is perfect, I luck myself in my Bedroom, not quite the same lol
Bedroom or camper, we all have a "safe place" we retreat to. Thanks for replying!
Your welcome :)
I can relate to the challenge of having wife and children and wanting to be alone at the same time. Often when my wife is working and I have free time I put my child in a baby carrier and go on a long walk. That isn't the same thing as being alone but it is certainly enjoyable. :)
That is enjoyable. Until that baby grows and talks so much that they drive you nuts! (My five-year-old son does that). But we love our children no matter what. Thanks for your reply!
Great post @countryinspired. i'm jealous that you have a camper :) unfortunately i don't have the opportunity to get out of the city, really to be off the beaten track.
But I am lucky with my wife. She is also an introvert, so shares the desire to be alone sometimes. We often can spend time apart without harming our relationship, so they become even stronger. But I think it will change when we will have kids...
You are lucky to be married to an introvert who appreciates alone time. And having kids will most likely change that to some degree. My wife more or less put an end to my solo camping weekends once the first child came. But it's not all bad. Giving up some freedom to spend time with those you love is just fine. Thanks for your reply!
I'm a natural introvert, too. I always preferred a small number of close friends and would always feel awkward around new people.
I saw this as a condition to be cured in my early 20s, so I decided to set myself a goal. For an entire year, I decided to accept any invitation anyone extended to me. Birthday parties, coffee shops, night clubs or something wilder -- if someone asked, I had to go, comfortable or not.
It worked, and really did cure me of my shyness. It also led me down a path that involved much drinking and decadence that, retrospectively, I now feel was not true to my own nature.
So now I've come full circle. I'm no longer shy, but I prefer to spend most of my time behind my computer creating things that may change the world, or just bring a smile to a few people's faces. Ideally, I'd buy an island and live there with one or two other people and a laptop.
So, I can relate to the article, because I, too, am beginning to feel the draw of nature and a simpler life.
Wow, you sound so much like me! I went through the whole drinking, partying, and bar scene in my early 20's. Like you said, I felt I needed to purge my shyness away and become socially outgoing. Looking back, that did absolutely nothing for me. Having just a few close friends is much better than having dozens of friends who may not be fully honest and sincere.
Thanks for your response! Now following.
Maybe it's something people need to go through to arrive back at themselves.
I just can't help thinking how much stuff I could have done if I hadn't though. I guess in a way that fuels me now, because I feel like I need to make up for lost time.
Cheers, looking forward to your future articles.
All the money blown on bar tabs and other needless expenses could have been a nice chunk of money put into a retirement account! Now I think like an old-timer!
I don't worry too much about the money, but man, the time... what I could have done with that time!
Spot on and well described. I book a weekend away three or four times a year (not as often as I would like) at a self catering chalet in the bush or in a river cottage and take my books, jigsaw puzzles and music. No electronics, except for a basic cell phone for emergencies. Does one soul wonders!!
You bet! It's amazing how much better we can feel after getting away like that! It really recharges our souls and relieves stress. Thanks for your feedback!
This is a really good post. I can definitely relate. I also have to pick my spots to recharge my battery. At times I find it draining mentally and physically to deal with many of the day to day responsibilities. I think it's just something we have to learn to adjust to and pick our spots as introverts.
Thank you so much for your response. I am hoping this post reaches out to a lot of people. You are right - the day to day responsibilities drain us introverts, even more so than extroverts, which is why we need to "recharge" more frequently and in our own unique ways.
I can totally relate to this. It's so nice to hear that I'm not "alone with my aloneness".
I grew up not knowing what introversion is. I always felt that the people around me thought I was dumb, because it was so difficult for me to socialize with them. I couldn't pay attention to them most of the time, because I needed to be alone. Thanks to the internet, I can find people just like me sharing their stories which makes me understand myself better.
So have an upvote, my fellow introvert :)
That's awesome! You had a childhood like mine, it sounds like. I was always awkward, artistic, and quiet, so I had a hard time making friends. But the friends I did have were very, very close. You are certainly not alone! Thanks for your response!
I really enjoyed your post and I can understand your sentiments. It is good to be alone but it is also good that you balance that with your family life. All the best to you!
@kus-knee (The Old Dog)
Thank you buddy. As always, I appreciate your kind words.
I couldn't stop smiling while reading.. It reminds me of me... It was weird growing up among extroverts..
And now that my SO is an introvert too.. Even more introverted than I am .. Im learning to spice up our conversations..
Great post btw
Thank you for replying! I am married to an extreme extrovert. She loves being out in public on the weekends and socializing. Not so much now that we have young kids, but when we were in our younger years. It caused a lot of friction between us.
team introverts! :P
You bet! Introverts rule!