"You can't do that."
We've all had some brain child spout that nonsense, while we, point in fact, disproved the very statement as it fell from their lips. People who speak emphatically in the 2nd person (the You-Can'ts), typically, project their own incapacities with each, "You can't..." In other words, they can't, so they tell you that you can't.
I tried to avoid these negativity spreading You-Can'ts.
I get really excited about travel. I have severe medical problems, so any successful trip must also include jumping through hoops for health. Translate that to additional planning. Any way that you cut it, I try to spread the joy of travel to friends and family. You know, share with the people that I think would be happy for me. And, for a while I was constantly surprised by the people who were 100% die-hard You-Can'ts. Telling me all about how I would never dare try and most certainly wouldn't succeed because of [fill in the blank with a list of fears]. I got mad, too. How dare I try to achieve my dreams? How dare they try to squash them!
One day, I told my coworkers that I planned on traveling outside of the United States. I'll be damned, if I wasn't bombarded with You-Can'ts. Half way through my shift, I realized that every single one of those You-Can'ts came from a person who couldn't. After that, I tried to avoid these negativity spreading You-Can'ts. Of course, you can't. Which is me, projecting my incapacity to avoid You-Can'ts on to whomsoever reads this far into the post. Congrats, that's you!
Rather than avoiding them, I began translating each You-Can't as They-Can't-Ergo-I-Can. After all, why would they achieve my dream? It's mine. They've got their own dreams. They can't. Ergo, I can.
You-Can'ts are Naysayers.
The You-Can't rhetoric is the same song sung by Naysayers the world over. That sad little projection, You-Can't, acts as a trap for many people who seek advice. Imagine possibility squashed or squandered because some Naysayer told you you can't. Why give anyone that kind of power?
Naysayers can be recognized by their negativity. Rather than avoid them, flip their script. Act like a dyslexic. Every idea they shoot down is positive confirmation that you're on the right track. After all, they can't. Ergo, you can.
"You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me." — Walter Sobchak
Take it easy, Dudes!
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