Families Against Families: A Permission Story

Hi Steemit World!

Before i start, please check on those stories which have connection to what is going to be told: 

1. Story Of Meeting My Future
2. Do You Ever Had A Crush On A Camomile
3. How To Make A Proper Proposal

If you are a couple eager to wed in Turkey, you have to complete a lot of formailities before. All of those in a sequence which have to be completed in order. First of this sequence is asking girl's family for their permission on this wedding. The thing is, this asking should be at family level. If the boy asks for their permission, it doesn't count.

So, as a young Turkish boy and girl, we opened the situation to our families. Both families were glad, because they were already waiting for that move. And they were want to dandle their grandchildren. As if we eager to make one once we get married...

First, my parents called Ece's parents to notify their arrival date of time. At this stage, everything runs formal. So they spoke really formal. Ie "We wish to pay a visit on your humble resindence if you permit." "Of course, we would be honoured".

When all those happening, i -i'm sure Ece as well- was feeling a really bad stomachache in respect of uncertain future. There is a phrase in Turkey, "marriage is not between just two persons, it's between them and their families". And this phrase is a pain in the ass, believe me. I feel uncomfortable, unsettled and hopeless because of it.

Well, date and time has been settled: 21st of May, after dinner. The math behind after dinner is Turkish coffee of course. If all goes well, boy's family takes permission from girl's family, girl makes Turkish coffee and formal curtain between two family goes up.

21st May dinner was full of questions, ifs and alternate plans for me. I was actually didn't know what would i do if two families haven't relish from each other. It was giving me all kinds of aches. There were not an inch without pain on my whole body.

All of those emotions were persisting when we arrive Ece's doorstep. We were about 8 person (i really remember that much, we should be more). Me, father, mother, 3 uncles and two grandfathers. We were looking like a destruction team more than visitors whom about to ask for permission of marriage. We stepped inside their home, after reception ceremony, everybody found a place to settle.

While inter-confab, i was looking for Ece. As tradition, she was not appearing often. Actually, she was more like a cormorant. One second she was there, and then she was vanishing.

I was really distressed when i heard that sacred question "With Allah's will and prophet's pledge, we asking your daughter Ece's hand to our son Cihad's hand." I practically hold my breath until heard the response. "Of course. If two youngsters in love, we have nothing to say reversely". 

I can not express emotion flood that pour from my heart to rest of my body. I was seing faces. They were laughing, talking with a fellow and most probably makeing jokes to me but i couldn't give a response. I was stiffen from happiness.

Turkish coffe took me of from that situation. I took the first dip, and then i remembered the worst tradition for the groom candidates. Salt! Coffee was salty! And i should drink all of it because it was a tradition! If i drink even salty coffe, it means i will take care of their daughter properly as the tradition. Was it really necessary?

So that's it. We were completed the most important surpass the most important obstacle in front of our marriage. After that, all will be more predictible. Or i was thinking as it be.

See you in next story. I'm leaving you alone with that photo of us. It has been taken after all above finished. Damn, it was hell of a night :)

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