Learning to say no
I was reading many of the comments on my previous posts, and it seems like many people struggle with the word "no". In other words, they may recognize when someone is not honest or even toxic, but fail at taking distance from them.
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I understand why this is the case because I can remember a younger version of myself who did as well, but the truth is that learning to draw the line is very important for our personal growth and even health.
Looking of the obstacles to saying now, and asking questions I often find similar answers from people I've mentored. They idea is if you say no, the other person might not like you, or might speak badly of you, or something like that.
Those concerns are valid, but they lack a universal truth, and there is a saying that I like to remember people of often.
"Nobody knows the true key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody" - Anonymous
It's really that simple, there is absolutely no way you can do it all, make everyone happy and we have to learn to me comfortable with that reality. If we can't, then we will be mediocre at many of the tasks we take on, and will probably not succeed anyways.
The message I'm trying to leave you here is this:
It's Ok for you to draw the line, you can do so with respect of course, because above all you must always respect yourself.
Hope everyone is having a pleasant day
Dear sir!
The wrong ways are always glowing and attracting, because of which we are unable to make distance from this. It is always difficult to walk on the path of truth. Walking on this path has to face many mental physical difficulties, that is why we always try to ignore it. Walking on the wrong path will give us quick benefits, but its end is very painful.
If we look at its positive side, then the path of truth always develops moral values and moves on the path of success.
Therefore, say not allowed those things that diminish our moral values lead us to failure.
Regards
Exact @certain, that's what I'm trying to do here. I have done my best to have people develop this mindset within them. Regards
Interesting choice of topic @chbartist
Indeed it may be hard to say "no", as much as it may be hard to avoid saying "no".
Just like you said: it's partly about drawing a line.
I also believe that we need to learn to ignore other people judgements. People tend to worry that if they say "no" then they will be judged.
But the reality is that we're all being judged either way. And it's important to realize what is our value and ignore those who do not recognize it and are judgemental.
obviously upvoted
Piotr
Thank you friend for your words!
regards @chbartist All men and women have to fight with the "NO", in terms of using the power of conviction towards others, it is elementary to keep the "NO" in every decision to seek the truth.
All the spirits unleash between what is convenient in this life or not. What can we understand, when we present the affirmative syllable? We would live in a desert and we would never know our fulfillment in what we undertake.
I can not remember in a single moment in any discussion or approach where there is no "NO". Would we remain silent, quiet because we did not pronounce disagreement with something, for the simple act of pleasing others? And your criteria where it is ?.
Discovering your success to others rests on a "NO", showing your reason, even if you do not like others. Now let us understand that nobody could escape the negative acceptance "NO", it is a war between the right and the wrong; no one can escape because through it the personal growth of man is complemented
Excellent words! Regards
This article is a wake up call for all of us....
It's difficult to say No to people we are close with or to people who we can get benefit to due to the mentality of We might in the future, will need their help and we are afraid that because of saying no they will turn us down....or... Because of "INDULGENCE "....
In my country "indulgence " is the common reason why we can't say no.... People gave help and in return these people expects that we will repay them back through not saying no to any favor they ask, and we are obliged to do it .
In some case people, wanted to be recognized or wanted to be accepted in the circle they wanted to be part with. By not saying no we put ourselves to the situation just to please them in order to be accepted...
I fully understand what you mean and agree! I wish you the best
It is not an easy thing to say 'no' to someone. However, a time comes when one gets fed up with the growing demands of others. Every person has a limit of his/her patience. After, that point one is forced to say 'no' but many times it worsens the matters as the other person feels it very offensive and unacceptable.
So, it is not a wise thing to say 'no' when one don't have any other choice left. One should not give in before someone if his/her demands are irrational and unjust. One should be firm right from the beginning, otherwise, it deteriorates the situation and when ultimately one says 'no', it creates so many problems. So, one should not spoil other's habits by accepting his/her every wish.
Excellent @akdx! Good see you again!
Yes , I agree! You should draft a line, where enough is enough. You can't go on and please others all the time. Sometimes you really need to stand your ground and learn to say no to people who deserves it.
I like how you emphasized, "Stand your ground"... I also agree with you @nevillehastings that a person should really know what's right and stand firm. Because we live in a world full of mediocre and if we don't know how to make a stand then we will always live trying to please other people. Stand for what is RIGHT!
Saying "No" is also saying that He/She has to learn to stand on their own. A lot of people I know, they always follow what this world dictates and that is, Trying to PLEASE everyone! Even if they know that the person has got nothing to do good but they just follow. So sad!
Agree! People-pleaser is not really my thing! We really can't be happy if that would be our main goal in life. I pity those people!!!
@drakedowney I totally agree about people trying to live by the book just to please the world. Personally, I admire people who live according to their dreams, to what makes them truly happy. Also, "NO" is not always a bad thing, sometimes it's the healthiest way to motivate people to stand on their own feet.
Very well said @nevillehastings. Couldn't agree more with you.
Thanks @drakedowney! :)
Sometimes we need to say no to even those who do not deserve it. Sometimes people also need to understand the other side too. Regards
Sir, that was very good. You said right, I also feel like I am struggling with the word "no".But I am doing my best.
This is the more important @cruis. Like you said ."But I am doing my best" Success
Hi, that is my personal opinion when we say no to someone then he goes against us and starts to prove us wrong. By the way it is a better advice to stay away from dishonest people.
You always spoke great words my friend. I like it. Have a good day from @coolguy222
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Thank again my friend for your words!
I'd say even if you don't feel like saying no to someone, because that is a very personal "no", you have the option to just continue without them. There will ever exist people that take part in our lifes. Not for long, but for a quiet good time. When this time ends we can just go on and be glad for the shared moments we had. There is nothing wrong in saying: "Hey, meeting you was nice. I see you will pull out to the left and I decided to pull out to the right one. Maybe we meet again. Have a good time."
Exactly!
This is truly a great lesson in the corporate world these days as Organizations look to do more with less and stretch their resources past the limits of quality work. I have been privileged to manage great talent in my career and many times the feedback I have needed to provide is to prioritize time and effort and not necessarily always saying yes to superiors in sacrifice to colleagues or team members. Saying no is truly an important factor in determining the efficiencies of teams!
Thx for your comment friend!