Psych 101: Show Your Appreciation to Those Close to You – While You Still Can

Death, harsh as it often is, can be a great educator. Loss teaches us to value what we have. 

It reminds us to live in the moment, to be aware of what is happening around us – even the subtle things – because each moment is unique and it will never be experienced again. When we’re lying on our deathbeds, we probably won’t be bemoaning the fact that we didn’t spend more time making money or attaining fame. If we have regrets then they will probably be for not appreciating more of the moments that comprised our lives.

Oftentimes, what holds us back when we have the urge to speak our hearts to the people closest to us is the belief that we will always have time to do so later. This belief has no real basis in truth. Sure, we may have other opportunities – but there is absolutely no guarantee. Either we may be gone or they may be gone before any other meetings occur at some imagined future time. 

It’s an unfortunate truism that we often need painful experiences to awaken us to what is really important in our lives. It’s too easy to be complacent otherwise, and slip into a comfortable life of routine. Living in the moment is not the way of the world. Our daily demands usually pull us the other way: towards the future, towards what we are heading towards. So much of our society lives upon delayed gratification. We save for vacations, retirements and special occasions down the road. 

Where we are in the here-and-now is all too often seen as a mere stepping stone to where we’re trying to get to. Then the unthinkable happens. Someone is gone from our lives, and we’re left to grieve over all the opportunities we had to connect with him or her – some of which we may have taken advantage of and others that we may have squandered.

Show your appreciation to those who are close to you while you still can. It doesn’t demand dramatic displays of emotion. Just speak the words that are right there waiting to be uttered. Don’t try and convince yourself that there will be better opportunities down the road. You never know whether the chance that is right before you may be the only one that you’ll ever have.

This kind of mindfulness takes practice, and virtually everything else in our lives may try and encourage us to forget about it. In fact, the only reminder we ever have may be in the form of loss – the loss of a friend, a family member, a pet. Then the pain brings us back to our senses, back to the moment, and we remember what is really important again. 

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Previous posts below: 

Psych 101: Recovering from the Myth of a Meaningless Universe

Psych 101: The Temptation to Project in Cyberspace 

Psych 101: Crayon Theory- The Psychology of Color 

Psych 101: The Memory Palace 

Psych 101: How to Induce a Lucid Dream 

Psych 101: Intermediate Classical Conditioning 

Psych 101: Beginner Classical Conditioning 

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