As The Cancer Takes its Toll on my Body

in #life3 years ago (edited)

Hey guys and Gals and all my friends. The last few days I am seeing a real change in my body healthwise. A little update as I think I may take a break for some time from all of you and its actually making me sad that I will miss you all.

This is the round about way of saying I love you all and thank you from my heart. Besides my cancer which you guys are aware of I also have a issue with every joint in my body. I was found to suffer from an unknown, never seen before joint inflamation. Thats how the Mayo Clinic sent the report back as UNSPECIFIED CRYSTALS OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN. Just to be able to move I take Prednisone and now my Doctor says I am the longest person to ever take the drug for this long. It has caused me to lose all My calcium strength and now have 7 broken teeth along with the burning mouth syndrome...Thats is fucking Painful...Google that crap........

Anyway I also have a little blood in the urine and honestly did not want to get out of bed today. I have decided to live with the teeth pain for now as the cancer is taking its toll. Now you all know I am a fighter and for the reason I fight. Her name is @lynncoyle1 and she is my life, lover and best friend. I am now since she is so happy and cares for you all here passing you all the torch to keep her company. When this all started the told me in 5 years you will start to go downhill. Well they were right but huh, SCREW YOU CANCER!!!!!!!!! Its 6 years and I beat the odds. I am hoping to not go yet and continuing to fight but I am needing to back away. I am so tired and no energy..........I am needing her to even help me out of bed and to the bathroom at times. Now you know why I wrote that post about being a burden.

Anyway when the cancer came I was healthy and weighed 230 lbs.....Now I weigh 126...........It really blows. The prednisone and all my other pills are taking a faster toll than the cancer and unknown shit as I call it.

There is no reason to even mention names but I love you all and think of you as friends no matter where in the world you are........I am going to mention a couple names and please realize that all of you mean so much to me. I need to say thank you to @davemccoy for the idea and post he did to help me. I need to thank @donkeypong and @analisa on a post where there vote was enought to pay a months prescriptions. Then there is @edprivat whose songs he did for me as a dedication to Lynn gave me strength and motivation. Now there are so many more and you all know who you are and the help and encouragement you have provided I am saying has kept me going and living. Please forgive me for not mentioning each name as I do not have the energy but You and I know who you are.

I also want to say that I know lynn works hard here but you all got to know she is an Angel sent to guide me and I am so grateful for the love and support you have given her. Each day we sit and talk about you all and want to help you if ever needed. I truly meant in my blog about what Steemit means to me. I am sorry that I will not be able to see you in person as I think everyday of your friendships. I know You all better keep the porch light on once I am gone because I know my girl and she is the type to show up and hug you in person, again you all know who you are.

I am really going on about nothing as I do not want my posts to end but in the meantime I need to rest. I am sorry if I have not got to thank some of you here for help and support but I am in my heart so thankful, grateful and I have the upmost respect for you all..

Remember this saying we have heard before

LIVE , LOVE, LAUGH..... because Life is shorter than we all think

be safe and again I hope to see you all soon.
Maybe a short rest for a bit will do me good.......regardless I will miss you all until then.

This recent pic shows the weight lose as in previous posts I was fatter LOL

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When playing chess and you are really good at it, you are remembered by how you play the end of the game; not the entire game, or really even if you win or lose. It is how the end game was played.

You, my friend, are playing one hell of an end game.

I am so happy to come across your post @briancourteau to know you have some strength to post and you look good! I have heard from @lynncoyle1 on how you are suffering from the burning mouth syndrome and now I am reading more on your joint inflammation and loss of calcium. That must have been so terrible and yet I am thankful to see you on the days you manage to feel a little better. My prayers are with you and even cancer cannot beat down your spirit as you still live! Always love reading about how strong the love you and Lynn share, it reminds us about really living and loving the moment! Hugs to both of you <3

Thank you so much for the words. I am so happy to hear from you and the rest...HUgs and hope you sleep well

G'day mate we haven't really chatted but I do know @lynncoyle1 from all the amazing work she does for our @asapers community.

I think the two of you have given many steemians a gift by sharing your stories.

They have made grown men cry and reminded many what love should look like.

Thank you

Oh @shai-hulud, this is so beautiful :) Thank you !

LIVE , LOVE, LAUGH..... because Life is shorter than we all think!

This is way to true, I appreciate life because it was given back to me, you because they are trying to take it away from you. Pred is a nasty drug in short doses, I can't even imagine the long term damage it would be doing let alone the blasted Fuk U Cancer! I have seen to many wonderful people taken too early by that fucker! Good on you for fighting on, its not easy but you are loved which makes it all worth it. Know that is ok to say goodbye but only when you are 100% ready. My heart is with you and @lynncoyle1 xxxx

Thank you my friend/ so much love back at you. sorry I was really under weather

Praying for you, buddy. I know that must be so tough. But you are a inspiring person and strong as hell.

You take a rest for now...see ya soon :)

Thank you back bro. I am so tired right now but will be in touch soon. Your words inspire me alot and thank you for being here for me

I wish I could come there and meet you guys. I wish there was a magic wand that could just make everything better for you.

I hope you know that the two of you have truly given me hope that true unconditional love, although rare, actually does exist.

Rest up. Get stronger . And hope to hear from you again real soon. I’ll miss your posts so hurry up and get stronger . and will look out for your loved posts as well.

I too wish there was a magic wand. Please take care of you and keep me posted on your life. I am here to listen to you and help if I can......hugs and hugs and hugs

Thanks. I will. I don’t think anyone can help me at this point. I just have to step away from everything. I just have to walk away from everyone and see what happens. Thank you . Hugs back . I hope you start feeling better soon. We’ll miss you posts on here , so let us know ur okay and how wonderful love can be when it works out . hugs

I love this post! I think I say that about all of yours :)

And this :

I know You all better keep the porch light on once I am gone because I know my girl and she is the type to show up and hug you in person, again you all know who you are.

ahaha You know me well !! I think my widow-maiden-voyage will be a world tour to meet all my steemit friends face-to-face :)

Well, make sure you have Perth on that list, we will have a son for you to meet and we would welcome you with open arms xx

Hey!! You know it is :) Thank you so much...that does sound awesome!

Warm hug friend, Take this time to gather your strength and meditate, I am sorry to hear about the pain that you are going through mentally and physically you showed everyone countless times how strong you are , if there's any way i can help let me know!
Thank you @lynncoyle1 for being the personification of an angel !

Let me know if there's another song you want :D I am always up to the task , got the flu now but screw this , RocknRoll voice it is!

Hey @edprivat! Thank you so much for this comment and your "angel" part made me smile!

Screw the flu; that's my man! Brian and I love Drops of Jupiter by Train. If you find a little time, I think your angelic voice would do it justice, and it will make Brian smile too. Thanks buddy.

Drops of Jupiter by Train! What a cool track , that would be a pleasure :) I will try my best !
Cheers Take care guys, much love

Edit: Hahaha my wife is singing the song out loud by heart I had no idea :)

hahaha we've found something new about your wife for you :)

It's such an awesome track, and your voice would be magical there buddy! Thank you!

Alright it's noted !

Brian, I'm so happy I caught this post first thing as I woke up. A day does not go by that I don't say a prayer for you and send Angel Blessings and love to both you and Lynn.

Although you have lost weight, you look very strong and well in your picture and your determination shines through.

Keep resting. Keep squeezing all the joy out of every one of your moments. No one but You and God/dess know your time here.

You and Lynn are Blessed and you have both been such Blessings for us all. It is a privilege for me to have met and gotten to know you a little bit over the last little while.... just one other Blessing of joining Steemit.

Bless you and love you, Brian. I'm not sure if you saw it, but I did dedicate my very first IPH meditation from way back in December 2008 to you and Lynn.

no I am sorry. I dod not see your dedication. I had to ve off here as was not feeling well. Thank you so much too. hugs and loves

No prob, Brian. You're receiving all the love and Blessings and support from your Angel friends on a daily basis anyway.

Enjoy today as best as you can. That's what's important. xxx

Thank you and you know I truly believe in angels so Thank you so much. God bless

Despite all that is going on, still have to take care of yourself (I think you know what I mean about that) Fighting drains a person, it is ok to take some time to yourself and recharge your batteries. Get some rest and relaxation as well as you can. (/big hug)

Thank you so much