Conversations With Sam

What do you mean you don't talk to your dog? Does he not like you?

Just generally speaking, this is how Sam reacts when we are having a conversation. He knows that when I'm talking to him it is really important so he gives me his undivided attention. Sometimes. Well, once.

When he's not looking at something more interesting or rolled over on his back looking for a belly rub. I have never once rubbed Sam's belly but he is a persistent cuss, and will roll over on his back at least a couple of times a day thinking this might be the time.

We typically do not have meaningful conversations when he is in this posture, he's sound asleep. Part of having meaningful conversations with any dog is watching body language because basically they have no real way to respond so you have to judge his reactions on the fly. The tail wagging is easy, he likes what I'm saying. Sam basically is wagging his tail when he's not sleeping so it takes a little more observation with him.

Eye contact is a serious part of doggy conversation. When he's looking right at me like the top photo I have his undivided attention. It's a good idea to talk fast or he'll be looking at the door or towards his food bowl or searching for flies.

This is an OK posture for conversational purposes. He's pouting about something, possibly photons. He's in charge of counting photons every morning before we go for our walk. Even in the brutal heat of summer we can't leave too early. Part of our walk cycle is 'off the lead' time in the desert. Sam may be able to smell the snakes and avoid them but I have to see them, so we have to wait until there are enough photons in the air to see snakes. Sam understands this perfectly.

So I've had a couple of small health issues lately, and I knew it was time that Sam and I had the talk. Not that talk, he got tutored before he left the pound to come live with me. Even though he's a full flegged adolescent I am thankfully out of THAT talk.

I told Sam that he needs to look out for me a little better. I mean it is of critical importance to him. He needs to be hyper vigilant with my health because, as I told him yesterday, if he doesn't I could die.

Not that would be a big deal in the overall scope of things, but Sam would have to hope the door was open because his discouraging lack of thumbs prevents him from going outside by himself. If the door were closed when I expired it would have huge consequences. There's quite a lot of food available most of the time, so that probably wouldn't be a problem but water. Once his bowl got empty he'd have to go to the toilete and well, he doesn't even know that is potentially drinkable. And lacking thumbs and operational knowledge of that device he'd get thirsty long before he got hungry enough to chomp on my decaying carcass.

And the poop. He's such a good boy he wouldn't go in the house until he was ready to explode. Literally.

Most important: We keep his dog treats on top of the refrigerator and I don't think there is any way he could get them himself.

So I watched his body language intently, knowing that this is potentially devestating news for Sam. Fortunately, he seemed to accept it just fine and started looking at the door, probably to go poop just in case the end was nearer than he thought.

So this is Sam in his normal spot and attitude for this time of day. It looks like I probably didn't scar him for life with our talk of yesterday. I'm glad, he really is a good boy.

Yes, that is dog hair in front of the couch. Sam is supposed to vaccum but I guess I'll probably have to do it for him. Again.

All words and photos in this post are mine. For better or worse.

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