Here's how to stop being judgmental to people!
Right now, as I'm writing this piece inside a coffee shop, just across my table I couldn't help but notice two ladies taking pictures of their food with their phones.
Now the judgmental side of me is already thinking, "These people must love to show off about their life. Even their food they have to post about it online".
But at the same time, the non-judgmental side of me is also thinking, "Hey stop that! You don't know these people! They're probably food bloggers for all you know and they're gonna make a blog about it later!"
Have you ever experience yourself being too judgmental of people? I'm sure you have. We cant help it. we're living in a world where everyone around us is judging someone or something every day.
However being judgmental can have a serious effect on your life if not corrected. It can lead you to live your life in a negative way and can hurt the relationships you have with people.
Here are some tips that can rid you of your judgmental ways and allow you to live a healthier life:
Be aware of your thoughts
Whenever you find yourself being judgmental, you need to be on the lookout for when this happens and stop this thought immediately.
Train your mind to consciously be mindful of your thought process and tell yourself that jumping to conclusions is never a good habit. It's not easy to do this, especially when you've been this way for quite a long time already, but as with all bad habits, it is possible to change.
Eliminate your insecurity
When you constantly judge and criticize people for their actions and always feel the need to put people down, try to ask yourself this question:
"Am I doing this in order for me to feel I'm the better man and to make me look good?"
If so, then you have a problem with insecurity. Just know that it may make you feel good on the short term, but unless you deal with your insecurities, it will never go away no matter how much you judge other people. And not to mention the fact that it's rather selfish on your part to put others down just to feel good about yourself.
Stop gossiping
People like to gather around with their friends and look for things to talk about. Whether it's talking about celebrity news or the latest TV shows. However, one should know that it has gone overboard when your friends start to mock other people for their own enjoyment.
From labeling someone a weirdo for wearing a strange outfit to judging someone as a bad person for sporting one too many tattoos on his body.
Try to change the topic if you can and never engage in conversations like these. Or better yet, tell your friends it is never good to be judging others especially to people you don't know.
By the way, here is a post by @jaynie regarding her thoughts about people judging others and her opinions on it.
Never fault the person but fault his action
If someone has made a bad decision in his life, our natural inclination is to judge that person for his action. Remember, that everyone makes mistakes and it's perfectly normal.
That person is likely to feel bad and guilty of his actions already, but it doesn't mean that it defines the person for who he is. Surely, he must have some good qualities that far outweigh his faults. So instead of framing that person as having a bad character, you should instead frame it as a bad action on his part.
Give the benefit of the doubt
Always keep in mind that whatever action a person has done, you should always give him the benefit of the doubt.
A co-worker quitting on his job doesn't necessarily mean he can't handle the stress at work, it could be that he is just making a career change. Or seeing a child throwing tantrums doesn't mean the parents suck at parenting, it could be that the child's action is a result of a bad night's sleep.
Constantly remind yourself to never judge anyone based on their looks, appearances, race, and especially his actions without finding out the reasons why.
And with that, I'll leave you with a wonderful quote I found on the internet:
Are you constantly judging other people for their actions? What instance in your life where you were being judgmental about something yet you were wrong?
I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below.
References:
Are you a judgemental person?
How to stop being judgemental
A simple method to avoid being judgemental
Image sources:
http://www.thesocialbridge.in/Blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/judging-a-person-does-not-define.png
https://pixabay.com/en/people-man-guy-male-thinking-2596531/
https://pixabay.com/en/girls-relaxation-milan-italy-fun-1353184/
Loved the article and how accessible it feels. Have you heard of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) by Marshall Rosenberg? NVC has a method for practicing turning moral judgements into value judgements. Like "That movie sucked" is turned into "I didn't like the movie because my need (or value) for mental stimulation was not met."
hey there @scottermonkey! no i havent heard about it, but ill look into it when i have the time. thanks for reading my post and loving it by the way! :)
Many years ago when I was an awkward teenager, I was in a store and two older women were staring at me and whispering. My mind thought they were talking about something not nice when one of the ladies walked over and complimented me on my long blonde hair. It was that day that I decided to, try, not to think the worst in those situations. I rarely take pics of my food but on the occasion that I do, it is usually to send to my sister so she can see what she is missing..lol (She does the same to me).
FYI..I truly enjoyed your post!
haha i can only imagine what negatives thoughts were running through your mind at that moment, yet they were only complimenting you for your long blonde hair.. thanks for the compliment by the way @deerjay! glad you enjoyed it! :)
This is a nice read @andwong31 and some decent advice. As humans we are programmed to judge for security reasons however we now spend way too much time on mental security. However, if the judgement comes back with a physical fear for the self, it is better to make a poor judgement and remove oneself from the situation.
i agree with you bro! thanks for taking the time to read this piece! appreciate the compliment bro! :)
Love the post :D! For me my final weapon is judging someone, but it is more from an authority point of view. It means like a teacher or father figure.
Once that happens though, hell will break loose and people will truly have a bad time ^^.
But people really need to go far for that to happen, everyone is indeed different and have their points of view/ideas.
I also always try to look past the person and think about the idea that they are sharing and the emotion locked to it, shows how much it is worth to them.
This way you really also get open discussions and it brings a very deep connection between the 2 of you. (or more people) + you learn a hell lot about it and each other.
yeah it is definitely better to keep an open mind and not jump to conclusion immediately as there are many things in life that we only see on the surface level. thanks for the lengthy comment bro! appreciate you dropping by here! :)
Very very good level headed advice !!
thank you for reading my post buddy! and thanks for reading it! :)
very beautiful 🤗
thank you @gizem! glad you like it! :)
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The reasons babies cry - if they were quiet, their needs would not be met. Toddlers have tantrums usually when they are tired. Babies' and toddlers' brains are not like ours. They have very low thresholds for pain and boredom. Their brains are growing and need lots of rest. A toddler's tantrum has nothing to do with parenting skills. Until people have children of their own, they don't understand this. I enjoyed your post.
i couldnt agree with you more, although i dont have any children yet. thank you for taking the time to read my post @katyclark! i appreciate it! :)
Haters gonna hate, people will always talk about other.
I have the similar attidue. Dont judge.
You never know the backgrounds why someone is doing what he/she is doing.
you're right bro. if people can just hold judgment, the world will be a better place. thanks for your input bro! :)
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