My journey to steemit and how I got to be who I am

Life is an adventure and the journey has been incredible!

The whole family posing for steemit

How did I end up on steemit?

One day back in October 2017, I was doing my usual catch up with the news and tech stuff when I ran into this https://www.wired.com/story/the-social-network-doling-out-millions-in-ephemeral-money/?mbid=nl_100417_backchannel_p1 wired article about steemit.  It immediately peaked my interest so I signed up for an account. 

Would you allow me to take a tangent about my thoughts on steemit so far?  

When I first got here I thought it was more like facebook where you post memes and articles you find on the web and such.  I quickly realized that this platform is more like a blogging platform with social aspects (upvotes and comments) and that short content or links to articles elsewhere on the net aren’t really appreciated.  With about 2 ½ months on the platform I have to say I love the community and how nice everyone seems to be.  I still have a lot to learn about this platform and this community, but it does seem that who you know here helps a lot more than what you know.  I know content is king, but having a friend who is a dolphin or a whale helps a lot.  So far all the steem I have, I’ve earned from comments, with the exception of a few cents.  So by far the best way to get started is to engage people by commenting on their posts.  I originally wasn’t going to do an “introduceyourself” post.  Probably because I really enjoy hearing other peoples stories more than talking about myself.  However, after this https://steemit.com/basictraining/@jerrybanfield/making-the-introduceyourself-post-for-day-2-of-steem-basic-training article by @jerrybanfield and the fact that it is a blogging platform where people want to know who is producing what they are reading.  I decided that if I’m going to stick with this community for the long run, I need to let people know who I am.

So who am I?

As you can see from the picture at the beginning of this post I’m a family man.

My wife and I wearing traditional Hmong wedding clothes on our wedding day

My wife and I have been married 19 years and have 7 wonderful and amazing children together with our 8th child on the way, due March 30th of this year.  

Let me back up a bit so you know how I got here.  

I grew up in Two Rivers, WI which is a small fishing village right on lake Michigan.  It is also the birthplace of the ice cream sundae  (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_Rivers,_Wisconsin).

Image source: http://www.two-rivers.org/

Image source: http://www.two-rivers.org/

In my teen years I was a drug using, alcohol drinking, skateboarding punk.  I didn’t care about anyone but myself.  And I really didn’t care for myself much either.  Which is why I was in self destruct mode.  Though at the time I wouldn’t have admitted it.  As such I had some friends but most people didn’t care for me and now I can see why.   In my late teens and early 20’s, I was working part time as a bartender and full time in a wool mill.  This was when I decided I knew what I didn’t want to do, which was work in a factory or in my case a wool mill.  This was the beginning of my transformation, because I started to realize that the direction I was going wasn’t the direction I wanted to be going.  I still didn’t know which direction I wanted to go, but, at least I knew one direction that I didn’t want to pursue.   So I attended college to see if I could figure out which direction I wanted to go or what I wanted to be when I grew up.  It was the best decision of my life because that is where I met my wife.  

My wife and I on our 1st date in college

I have to say my wife is an amazing woman because she put up with me during the first few years of our marriage when I was still very immature and had a lot of growing up to do.

Our wedding party all in traditional Hmong wedding attire

My wife and I met in October 1997 and shortly after that she became pregnant.   On July 18, 1998, we were married.  A week later, our first child was born 2 months early and spent 3 weeks and 3 days in NICU.  Wow!   What a growing experience for 2 young first time parents! 

Our first son, then and now

The beginning of my Spiritual journey

My wife grew up going to Christian denominations and loved “going to Church.”  I, on the other hand, though I believed in God, didn’t like “Church.”  This caused some stress on our relationship because she always wanted me to go with her and I never wanted to go.  But her persistence paid off, and I started going with her.  At the denomination that we went to at that time they would preach on topics and I thought to myself this guy could be picking all the verses that fit what he wants to say and leaving out all them that don’t fit.  I need to read the Bible myself and see what it says.  So I got an easy to read version of the Bible and started reading it when I had to use the bathroom.  So it started slowly at first, but towards that end I was reading it every day and it changed my life.  I still don’t care for organized religion but do see the need for community of like minded people striving in the same direction.  This was another huge step in my transformation and the real beginning of my spiritual journey.  

Dealing with feelings and emotions I didn't understand

Not long after our first child was born, my parents decided to called it quits after 25 years of marriage.

My parents on my wedding day

You would think that being an “adult”, whatever that means, would make something like that easier.  In some ways maybe but not in others.  At the time, I wasn’t good at emotions in any way at all and in a lot of ways I’m still learning how to express my emotions.  In any case looking back I can now say that I was looking for which parent to blame.  And for ways to get them back together.  But instead I graduated UW Green bay with a BS in computer science and got a job in Saint Petersburg, FL.  

Growing up

In March 2002,  I picked up the family and moved to FL.  This turned out to be a really great decision because my wife and I both really matured physically and spiritually after getting away from everything and everyone we knew.  In 2003, our second child, a baby girl was born.

Our first daughter then and now

At this time we thought this is perfect we have a boy and a girl.  So we were living the dream ;-) and continuing to grow spiritually.  

Homeschooling

When our daughter was about to turn 2, I was looking forward to my wife going back to work.  Day care for kids under 2 is outrageous.  However, that is when she hit me with the fact that she felt that God was calling her to homeschool.  Well I wish I could say that I was a supportive husband, but I wasn’t.  I was completely against the idea.  I was like we went to public school and we both turned out fine and things like that.  But I did say that I would look into it and start researching it.  After some research and more prodding from my wife we decided to pull our oldest out of 3rd grade and my wife started to homeschool.  It didn’t take long and I grew to love homeschooling.  I think this post https://steemit.com/homeschool/@cheneats/homeschooling-perspectives-from-both-the-parents-and-the-student by @cheneats covers the reasons why very well.  As time went on we were in couple of groups studying the Bible and giving our time to the denomination we went to.

How my perceptions and ideas on kids changed

What I’m about to share is my personal conviction and a huge part of my journey.  I am not sharing it because I think anyone besides me needs to do it.  I think that what you need to do is between you and God just like what I need to do is between me and God.  Or in the case of the below between me, my wife, and God ;-).  One day I was talking to a brother and I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about.  But we ended up talking about how people surrender different areas of their life to God but usually pick and choose.  So some will give God their time, others their money, and etc.  Or combinations of them, but most people won’t surrender their sex life to God and let Him determine how many kids they should have.  At that moment I was really convicted because that was me.  I was surrendering most areas of my life to God but that one was one that I was taking care of myself.  Well since that area of life isn’t up to me alone, it caused my wife and I to have a lot of good discussion and to search the scriptures to see what God said about this topic.  

Psalms 127:3-5Behold, sons are an allotment from Yahweh; The fruit of the belly is a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a master, So are the sons of youthful parents.  Happy is the master who fills his quiver with them; They shall not be ashamed When they are speaking with enemies in the gateway.

You would think that in the Bible I would find that everyone had lots of kids, but that isn’t the case.  Some had a couple or a few, some had none and there is some that had a lot.  

Genesis 20:18 For the Lord had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife.

Genesis 29:31 And when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.

Genesis 30:22 And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb.

1 Samuel 1:5 But unto Hannah he gave a worthy portion; for he loved Hannah: but the Lord had shut up her womb.

In addition to that over the years I’ve never talked to an older person who shared that they wished they had fewer kids.  But I have met a few who shared that they wished they had more kids.  Anyway after all that we decided to surrender that area of our life and shortly after that my wife got pregnant with our 3rd child.  

Overcoming fear

Well, my core fear when it came to having more kids was being able to support them financially.  By the time our 2nd daughter and 3rd child was born we had received so much baby items given to us by friends and family that we had 2 and 3 of some items and were giving baby stuff away.  For me that was God saying “I’ll provide for the kids, you focus on teaching, training, and equipping them.”  I have to say God has been faithful and always provided what we need, not always what we want ;-).  It would be awesome if I could say after that I trusted God completely, but that would be lying.  Every time my wife gets pregnant I feel like God is asking me “you trusted me with X kids will you trust me with Y kids?”  And so far every time I eventually do.  Actually it is getting easier and I’m quicker to let go of my fears.  Our 3rd child which was our second daughter was our first child not born in the hospital.  We had her at a birth center.

Our second daughter then and now

After that we’ve been having kids just about every 2 years.  Our 3rd daughter and 4th child was also born at a birth center and she was the first child that I caught or delivered ;-). 

Our third daughter then and now

After that our next 3 children were boys and all born at home and I caught/delivered them all. 

Our 2nd son then and now

Our 3rd son then and now

Our 4th son then and now

We do have a midwife that comes to the house.  So we do have help and support.  Our 8th unborn child is predicted by ultrasound to be a boy also and the plan is Lord willing to have him at home also.  

Moving back close to family

About a year or 2 ago God started to change my heart about moving back to WI.  I originally never wanted to move back, though my wife has always wanted to move back.  Both her family and mine are in the same town.  So about 2 years ago now my brother and her brother started having kids and God softened my heart and I started thinking how nice it would be to have all the cousins grow up together.  Well long story short God hook me up with a work from home job and provided everything we needed to move back home to Wisconsin to be close to family.  It has truly been a blessing to have family around to help out.  After 14 years in FL doing life without close family near by it is a refreshing change.

Will you join me on my life adventures?

Wow it sure has been an adventure up to this point and I know that there are many more adventures to be had.  From here on out I’m going to be learning how to share my adventures and things I’m learning with all of you on steemit.  I’m always learning new things about large family dynamics, spirituality, and homeschooling.  We are working on learning healthy habits with diet.  I’m starting to get into woodworking.  I’ve made 2 sets of triple bunk beds, 2 computer tables,  and a farmhouse dining room table.  And we are currently in the process of converting a 2 family house into a single family house.  So I’ll be posting about these things and more.  Thanks for reading this far and I look forward to us getting to know each other better.

~Jet