5 Facts About Me (Expose Yourself Challenge)

5 Facts About Me

I’ve been nominated by @mazzle to complete the five facts about me challenge. I actually asked to do this, but having read @mazzle’s outstanding post, I’ve now realised there is a bit more work in this than I had originally anticipated. That said, we’re all here to produce quality content so let’s see how I go. I highly recommend you check out @mazzle’s as it’s definitely worth a read.

https://steemit.com/fivefacts/@mazzle/5-facts-about-me-expose-yourself-challenge

Having thought a little about how to approach this, I’ve decided I’m going to use this as an extended introduce yourself piece. The byline to the challenge title is ‘expose yourself ‘so I’ll bear my soul, and hopefully you guys will be gentle with me.

Fact one-I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

This is something which very few people know about me. One of the benefits of blogging under a pseudonym is it allows you to be more comfortable in revealing these kinds of facts about yourself. It’s not that I’m ashamed of my mental illness, more that it has a tendency to make some people awkward and to complicate social situations. So generally I keep it to myself.

I spent 15 years in the Australian Army, including serving in both Afghanistan and East Timor. It was a combination of these two active duty rotations, plus some other unpleasant incidents that I witnessed at home, that have led to my current situation. I did not have what I would call a classic "PTSD moment”, which I would define as a single incident that was so traumatic that it leaves an individual scarred for life.

I did spend a significant time "outside the wire " in Afghanistan however, as my role was liaison with the local community. I saw a number of unpleasant practices including violence, death, child prostitution, and other things, which have altered my perspective on the world. I also had the misfortune to have two soldiers under my command killed in action, and have had the honour of knowing six Australian servicemen in total who have given their lives in the service of their country.

I include the above paragraph not for shock value but to provide context. I think mental illness, certainly in Australia, is significantly misunderstood. I live daily with a mental illness yet I still manage to be a small business owner, father, husband, and semi-successful Steemit blogger. It’s not that it doesn’t affect my life, but it’s not the disaster that many people would assume it to be. I’m also conscious that there are a large number of people, some that I know personally, who are significantly more afflicted by this illness than I am. I consider myself lucky to have come out of my experiences as unscathed as I have.

I also like to focus on a concept known as "post-traumatic growth" which flips the switch on post traumatic stress disorder, and focuses your attention on the positive aspects that you obtained from your experiences, rather than merely focusing on them through a negative lens. I am the person that I am today because of the experiences that I had in Afghanistan, and whilst that is not without challenges, I believe it has also made me a better father, a better husband and much more aware of the realities of the world around me.

So if you know someone with a mental illness don’t be so afraid to talk about it. You might be surprised how much that person will appreciate the opportunity to open up.

Fact 2 - I’m a foster dad

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My wife and I are part-time foster parents. Many people are puzzled by the term "part-time" however it makes sense when you understand the system. If you imagine that you were caring full time for a foster child, then there would be periods where you would need a break. This may simply be because you are travelling interstate, and you are not allowed to take a foster child over state borders. It may also be because the child that you care for has extreme behaviours and you need a break, just simply because you need a break. There is a whole host of carers out there who are positioned to step in, in these kinds of situations. This is what my wife and I do, and it is known as respite care.

When I tell people we are foster parents the first question many people ask is, Why? I actually find this question quite confronting for reasons which will explain below. But I’ll also answer the question. The reason we do this is because we can. My wife and I consider ourselves be very fortunate. Despite our lives being far from perfect, we have been externally fortunate to have been raised in reasonable homes, to have received a good education, to have been lucky enough to go to university, and to both work in well-paying occupations. We have two beautiful daughters, both of whom are fit and healthy. And despite life’s challenges, such as the mental illness outlined above, overall we are doing okay. There’s a lot of people out there who are not anywhere near as lucky as us.

In the case of children, this fact is completely beyond their control. They end up in shitty life situations which can doom them to it horrible future almost from the moment they are born. It seems to be some small sacrifice on my part, to give up a weekend or two of my time a month, to potentially make a positive impact on the life of one of these children. What I really want to say when people asked me why, is why not? Why not do it? What’s stopping you from providing disadvantaged children the same opportunities that are providing to your own? If you don’t do it, who will? I don’t say that though because in most cases people would find it quite confrontational. And I’ll get off my soapbox here as well.

The benefits of being a foster parent are incredible. It can be incredibly challenging, and I’d be lying if I said it wasnt difficult at times. It is however, also enormously rewarding. Both my wife and I get an amazing sense of satisfaction from doing it, and I’m also really happy with the impact that has upon my own children. As mentioned above my wife and I are quite fortunate, and a concern of mine is how not to raise spoiled brats. I think that my daughters growing up in an environment where they are constantly exposed to, and interacting with’ children facing a variety of different challenges will help with this. Hopefully this will assist me to raise to good human beings who will b be empathetic and worldly in their views.

If you ever thought about being a foster carer self, then just do it. The reason we waited so long was because there never seemed to be a good time. We eventually realised that there is no such thing as a good time, and that the best time to do it is now. So jump in, find a foster agency in your area and find out what’s involved. You might be pleasantly surprised that is not a burden you think it is.

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Fact three - I just got a puppy

When my wife and I were first married 13 years ago, one of the first things we did was buy a dog. Two in fact. We had both grown up with dogs, and had always been keen to have a dog be part of our lives. We were fortunate that our first two puppies were with us for 12 years. They both passed away within six months of each other last year however. There was never any doubt that we were getting another dog, so once the excitement and disruption of Christmas was over we set out to find ourselves a new puppy. Ruby is who we found.

Ruby is a rescue dog. We previously had purebred dogs, however both dogs had some health issues, so we decided this time to go with a cross breed. We don’t really know what breed Ruby is. Her mother was a Staffordshire Terrier cross something. And we suspect that there is some Rottweiler in there somewhere. She was de-sexed yesterday and is currently sitting in my living room feeling sorry for itself. She is so new that we haven’t even been able to take her for a walk yet, as she hasn’t completed her schedule of vaccinations. But in about 10 days we will release her into the world, and hopefully will get as many years of enjoyment with Ruby as we did with our two previous dogs, Max and Sasha.

Fact 4 - I’m crazy about psychology, philosophy and mindfulness

I am a big fan of the online learning resource coursera.com. If you’re interested in learning about new topics, but don’t have the time, energy or resources to go to university, then Coursera is for you. It offers a top-quality courses, from some of the world best institutions including Oxford, Cambridge and many Ivy League universities. It’s also absolutely free. Check it out! Seriously its awesome.

As part of my time on Coursera I did a course in basic psychology. I’d always had an interest in psychology and the way it affects people’s investment decisions. Once I did a course in general psychology however, and started learning about the origins of morals and ethics, and a variety of other psychological frameworks, I became completely obsessed. There is a natural overlap between psychology and philosophy, so my interest in psychology has led me down quite a few philosophical rabbit warrants.

At the same time as I was gaining an interest in psychology, I was also undergoing psychological treatment for my post-traumatic stress disorder. This led me down the path of learning about mindfulness, which is a key therapy taught to assist those with anxiety-based disorders. Once I started to explore mindfulness, I realised that mindfulness and Buddhism shared a lot in common. To put it more bluntly, much of the mindfulness therapy that modern psychologists were teaching was stolen straight from the words of the Buddha himself. This led me into an interest in meditation, and the way in which these practices can help manage stress. I’ve blogged previously about behavioural psychology, most specifically as it relates to investments. I would also like to venture out into some broader psychological subjects, and tie these in with some basic principles of Buddhism and mindfulness.

Fact five-I love song lyrics

I seem to have an obsession with the song lyrics that very few of my friends share. I’m always surprised when I comment on the lyrics to a particular song, and more often than not, the person that I’m with answers with some version of "I’d never really listened to the words before." This absolutely blows my mind as lyrics to me are as integral to the song as the music itself.

I intend to write a post on this sometime soon, however for now I will simply give you one of my favourite song lyrics. I wouldn’t say that this was my favourite lyric of all time, it’s just the one that has captured my attention most lately. It’s from a song called "Sun" by a band called Two-Door Cinema Club.

Over and over
Many setting suns
I have run
I have waited for the rain to come
When through that mist
I see the shape of you
And I know, and I know
That I'm in love with you

It’s hard for me to paraphrase these lyrics, because to my mind they capture the feeling perfectly. But to me this passage speaks to that feeling you get when you see that person that you love more than any other. It speaks of the longing and the yearning as you wait to meet this person that you know is out there. And then once you finally meet them, you don’t need the detail. Just simply the shape of them is enough for you to know that you are in love. The image of someone walking towards you through the mist and you recognising, simply by the silhouette, that they are your true love really speaks to me. I don’t feel I’ve done the verse justice, but hopefully you understand where I’m coming from. For more crazy song interpretations by AG Hunter please watch this space.

So that’s my five facts. Exposing myself to the Steemit community. If you’re still reading by this stage I assume you have at least found some of them interesting.

I would like to nominate @thomasrowson to complete the challenge next. Tom is the one who originally got me into crypto currency investing, and I have recently convinced him to become involved in the Steemit community. I’ll be interested to learn some more about him.