This Is How My Greatest Struggles Became My Greatest Strengths
For me, life began as a struggle.
And my struggles felt very real.
I didn't feel like I had many options.
Life had dealt me particular cards...
And I just had to deal with the hand that I had been given.
Joshua Newton @joshuanewton
My struggle was real and I just had to accept my fate.
Or so I thought…
The Stories I Was Told
For a large portion of my life I didn't really question whether or not these struggles were real or not.
Besides, I had no reason to!
From what I heard on the news to what my friends and family were saying, it seemed like this was just the way it was.
rawpixel.com @rawpixel
I was told a variety of stories, and that seemed like sufficient evidence for me...
The story that I was told is that life is difficult and that I have to work very hard to achieve true happiness.
The story I was told is that I should think logically and not trust my intuition because my intuition would lead me astray.
The story I was told is that I have to act like something that I'm not so that I can look like something that people would want to hire, support, or follow.
The story I was told is that I should avoid failure at all costs by taking less risks and living more “securely.”
The story I was told is that without a degree or certifications…
I would amount to nothing.
The New Story
It wasn't until my life changed dramatically that things started to change for me.
You can read about more of that story here, but in a nutshell...
My life was no longer working for me.
The stories I was being told, were no longer supporting who I was becoming.
Aziz Acharki @acharki95
The more I experienced life, the more I realized that what I was being told was not my truth.
It was at this point that I realized something very important:
I needed to create a new story.
And that new story began by understanding how I struggle...
And how those old struggles could also become my new strengths.
How To Go From Strength To Struggle
We all experience struggles in life and a fair amount of them all of them stem from what is going on inside of us.
That being said, I created a list of the most common struggles that I've experienced in my life and I'm curious to hear if any of these struggles are similar to your own.
Tobias Cornille @tobiasc
For it was the struggles through which I discovered equal and opposite strengths.
1. I Focused Too Far Into The Future
The Struggle:
I've always been more of a visionary type and with this has come a very real struggle. I would find myself focusing so far in the future that my experiences in the present moment was very difficult to deal with. I just couldn't seem to feel good where I was. I wanted to be somewhere else, I wanted to be living in the future... but the future wasn't here yet.
Oscar Söderlund @messisorder
The Strength:
I discovered strength by realizing that everything I need is present right here and right now. If I want to get somewhere in the future, I just need to take the next step. I don't need to know every step of the way, I just need to know the next step of the way. Knowing this has helped me to be confident in that I will always know the next step. I may not know the exact journey ahead, but I can always discover the next step ahead.
2. I Expected Life To Be A Particular Way
The Struggle:
Living a life filled with high expectations was absolutely devastating for me. What I expected out of my life was constantly not being met, and because my needs were unrealistic and based upon a vision that was artificial and created from my society, I constantly felt a disharmony within myself. I just couldn't understand why my life wasn't the way that I expected it to be. It felt painful and unfulfilling to live a life where I couldn't get what I thought I deserved.
Haley Phelps @haleyephelps
The Strength:
I started to let go of my expectations about what life was and began believing that life would give me the experiences that I needed the most. This was the moment where my life began to change and I truly begin to appreciate every moment for what it was. I no longer had unrealistic dreams of what my life should be, instead I was excited for what it could be and knew that whatever experience I had was in my highest good. My desires changed too! Instead of wanting very specific, material things. I now wanted a much simpler thing... I wanted to feel good! By letting go of my expectations about HOW I would feel good, I discovered a vast amount of ways to feel good along the way.
3. I Focused On Thoughts And Ideas That Did Not Nourish Me
The Struggle:
I used to really focus a lot of my energy on the things that were going wrong in the world and in my life. It was easy to ponder about my problems and place copious amounts of energy into the negative feelings I was experiencing. This of course led to a downward spiral within my mind as the more I focused on these painful thoughts, the more painful my life felt.
Stephen Leonardi @stephenleo1982
The Strength:
During the times of great pain I started to realize that the only thing that really helped me feel better was to focus on what I was grateful for, even if it wasn't easy to find many things to be appreciative of. When I just focused on a few simple things that I could appreciate, I noticed that my mind started to shift. After about a minute of focusing on the good things in my life, I suddenly started to feel and see my life in a completely different way. What I was focusing on somehow began to impact my perception of life. The more I embraced this strategy, the more I was able to take control over my mind and how I perceived the world around me. Soon I made gratitude a staple in my life. I now focus on what I am grateful for every single day of my life because it allows me to take control of my perception as I realize that the thoughts that I nourish are the ones that grow.
4. I Forgot About The Simple Things
The Struggle:
I was so focused on the big picture... Changing the world... Becoming a millionaire… Creating something profound. These huge thoughts crippled me in so many ways. As much as they were inspiring to think about, I noticed that they would make me feel depressed. I felt depressed because I wasn't doing that yet. Every time I saw someone who was doing something great in the world, it made me feel bad about myself. I felt like I was a failure every time I saw someone who was, in my perspective, living a great and fulfilling life.
Uroš Jovičić @urosjovicic96
The Strength:
When I shifted my focus from the big things to the little things, something phenomenal changed within me. Suddenly I realized that the big things were a combination of all the little things. As I cherished the small victories in my life and the simple pleasures, I started to see more of these things show up in my life. The more value I placed on the little things, the easier it was to feel fulfilled. I could be who I wanted to be now and it didn't require me to have created something outside of myself to feel that way.
5. I Undervalued My Own Uniqueness
The Struggle:
As I discovered more of who I am, it was really difficult to accept this. I was so different from the world around me and a lot of the things that I felt strongly about were not accepted by the society I was living in. Thus, I sought to hide these parts of myself and I tried to be someone else. I knew that if I focused hard enough and prepared my mind enough, I could be whoever I wanted to be. So I tried to become a person that everyone would like and accept. This led to immense depression, confusion, and dissatisfaction.
MI PHAM @phammi
The Strength:
Once I finally accepted the parts of myself that I was afraid of, I started to create relationships where I would be open and honest about who I am up front. By doing this, I immediately created an environment where I could be who I was. This made life so much easier because I no longer had to try to be someone else. I no longer had to waste energy acting in ways that were unnatural to me. Now I could just be me and it was really easy to be that way. Once I started noticing that people enjoyed being around me more just because I was being who I was, I truly felt inspired to be more of who I am.
6. I Focused On My Problems Instead Of Looking For The Solutions
The Struggle:
When issues popped up in my life I would spend a lot of time thinking about that issue and creating stories about what this could mean for me and my life. Oftentimes, I felt fear that I was going down the wrong path. Most of the time, I considered my problems out of my control. I felt like a victim and that life was happening to me and I had no control over that. I felt helpless and it was deeply concerning to me...
Anthony Indraus @aindraus
The Strength:
Nowadays, when an issue comes into my life I immediately look for the solutions that are available to me right now. I ask myself,
“What practical solutions are available to me right now?”
By asking myself these questions, my mind immediately searches for a solution. Sometimes the solution seems a bit odd, but I don't question it, I just try out my ideas by acting upon them, and if they don't work then I look for new solutions. By focusing on solutions I realized that I am not a victim at all, I am actually extremely powerful and capable. As I solve problems in my life, new problems arise that are bigger, and then I solve those problems. This establishes a cycle of reinforcing confidence. I've become confident in my ability to face any challenge and overcome it, simply by focusing on the solutions in front of me.
7. I Looked At My Past And Mistaked It For My Future
The Struggle:
I used to look at my past and think that it had a correlation to where my future is going. I used to think that because I had failed in the past that I had limited my options in the future. This limited my perspective of what my future could be and so I began to act more cautiously because I didn't want to do any more damage to my future.
Toa Heftiba @heftiba
The Strength:
It suddenly became clear that my life was not being dictated by my past, but by my present choices. Each moment allows for a new potential to exist. I can choose to feel grateful for life right now and it is that choice that affects how I feel and it's that feeling that affects how I move. Once I realized that I could dramatically impact my life by focusing in the present and being excited for the future, I no longer needed to dwell upon my past mistakes. As I gained more experience, I started to see my past failures as necessary learning lessons, which helped me to make decisions in the present moment that inspired my future forward.
8. I Saw Myself As Separate From The World Around Me
The Struggle:
It seems as though the world was a game of survival of the fittest. Where we were competing to be the very best and the ones who succeeded were the ones who lived great lives. I felt like it was important to hold onto what I owned in order to secure my place in the world. I kept to myself and only did things if I knew there would be a benefit for me. Ultimately, this made me feel very lonely and lost in the world.
Zachary Nelson @zacharytnelson
The Strength:
I realized that it felt good to give to others. It felt good to help others. For some reason, when I gave of myself, I felt like I had more energy and more to give to the world. Instead of losing energy, I had more energy. Soon I realized that there was no difference between me or anyone else. When I started helping other people, without needing anything in return, I noticed that my life started to feel more "supported". Suddenly it became obvious to me that I was not much different from anyone else. I noticed that the more I helped others to achieve their dreams, the more my dreams became more visible. Nowadays, I see no separation between myself and anyone else. I can get what I want in life by helping others get what they want!
Create A New Story
As much as it truly did suck to struggle in these ways, I realized that these struggles were essential for me to understand some very simple truths about life.
These simple truths are what strengthen me each and every day.
Being completely honest with you, I do not believe that life will ever get any "easier"...
In fact, my life has absolutely become much more challenging than it was during my periods of struggle.
However, what has changed is my approach to these challenges.
Now, instead of giving into my problems, fears, and insecurities - I embrace them!
I now realize that each day I make a CHOICE as to how I will perceive my life.
I can CHOOSE to see the situations in my life as things that disempower me...
Or I can CHOOSE to see it as things that are helping me thrive.
The world around me can tell me a story, and I can accept that story as the truth.
Or I can ignore it, and create my own unique version.
In my life, I always choose the latter.
And I hope you do, too.
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"Happiness = Reality - Expectations."
That's bloody gold, mate.
The absolute truth, that one.
It truly is! Emotion = the difference between what we expect and what we perceive.
I read your post man after you commented on mine. Well done and keep up that motivation. Everything we do is a marathon, not a sprint. :D
Howdy axios, resteemed. When reading your article, it just reminded me of my own struggles and how I changed all that to strengths in similar fashion. And the topics and things I noticed we write about is also similar.
How exciting axios. Really like your quality of work. Mind blowing stuff..
Kudos to you. This is a very inspiring post @axios
Thank you @seareader1 :)
My friend you’ve truly outdone yourself with this post. I can’t tell you how much I can relate to this yet am inspired to be more conscious of these struggles.
Thank you for being so transparent and genuine! This world needs more people like you. Happiness is a state of mind we can choose to be in, the sad thing is many do not choose it.
I have gone through a similar transition over the past few months. Still being unemployed and living at home after graduating can be discouraging, but you’ve brought a new light to my internal struggles.
Our past does not determine our future nor defines who we are.
Don’t stop blogging please :)
wow @creativem1nd ! I truly appreciate your sincere response here. The good news is that the only constant in life is change, so the experience will change soon enough! I got (and get) a very positive and inspired vibe from you. It's essential for any storyteller! I'm excited to see what you create in the near future my friend!
So many words to be inspired by in this post! Thank you for sharing :) This gem of a post was discovered by the OCD Team!
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Thank you @mrslauren! You are welcome to share my post. I really appreciate it!
Another enjoyable post about how we create limiting beliefs and can move beyond them. Also good to remember that we always have a choice.
Thank you @eftnow! Yes choice is always a great one to remember ;-)
@axios Excellent post. Following you for future updates. If you are interested in short stories , poetry , photography and technology related posts, please follow my feed as well. I am new to Steemit and am looking to expand my connections.
Thank you @intellix! And welcome to the community! I will check out your channel now. Cheers!
I used to focus too much on the future and not enough on the simpler things. I've definitely grown in these areas as I've gotten older.
I can definitely relate to a lot of these, but again, I'm feeling like I need to bookmark this post and come back to digest more. I only made it through #4 before I felt like I needed to really stop and focus on what I'd already read for a while. I feel like I'm reading an amazing self help book, but I need the time to sit with the first "chapter" for a while to... get more from it? Ummm...maybe apply it to my life is a better way to say it.
You're a fantastic writer
One more thought, if you ever decide to expand on any of these points, a good addition would be maybe to end each one with a few steps of "How you might apply this to Your life" or "Some questions to ask yourself" or something for those people who don't naturally think this way or have troubles being introspective. I think that could be really valuable.
Thank you @byn I think you're right on there. Definitely needs to be some reflective component in there. I will explore that for future posts! Thanks for the great suggestions :)
Fantastic. Great points on what to focus on and what to let go. One of the best things I've done for myself this year? Stop watching the news. Everyone gripes about it enough that I get the gist of what's going on...without hours of negativity fed into my head. And surprisingly enough, the less I've focused on all the things wrong in the world (which is what the news focuses on), the more aware I've been of all the good that is still everywhere but overshadowed by the headlines. It's been a good year. :-)