Why Aren’t You Visiting Russia Right Now!?
I already gave you ten reasons to Visit Russia! Do you need five more?
Really, folks! I gave you five excellent reasons to come to Russia. Then I gave another five that were spectacular. Vladimir Putin is getting very angry and he will start sending babies and puppies to gulags if you don’t visit! So to keep that from happening, I will try to entice you to visit with these five perfectly valid reasons for visiting Russia right now!
Mushrooms
Oh you haven’t heard? Yes. Russia seems to have a lot of mushrooms growing everywhere. Take a trip into any nearby wooded area and forage until you cannot forage anymore! But watch out for the poisonous ones! Don’t ask me which ones are poisonous. I have no idea! But from the looks of it, every Russian can tell you which ones are safe to eat. So visit Russia now and get those mushrooms! Bon Appétit!
Funny Hats
Russia has the best hats in the world! They have soft and fluffy winter hats called ushankas. They’re made from sheepskin. You can get them with or without ear flaps. How awesome! There are furry Cossack hats too! They also have some fabulous religious hats. Some of them have really cool golden embroidery! You’ll have to see them for yourself. So get on that steamboat and make the transatlantic voyage to the orthodox churches of the Russian empire!
Winter
The harsh Russian winter. What could be better symbolism for the Russian culture and history than freezing temperatures and snow? But maybe it’s not all bad. If you look at it from a different perspective, maybe the snow symbolizes the purity of the country and its people? And the cold air is crisp and refreshing like a triple distilled Russian vodka. When you think of it that way, their winter is quite beautiful, isn’t it? Right? Isn’t it?? Doesn’t it make you want to visit? Doesn’t it??
Really Long Escalators
Wow! Look how long that is! I bet it’s fun to ride! Only in Russia, comrades!
Caviar
Who doesn’t like to eat fish eggs? Yes. Caviar is fish eggs. YUM! This has been a Russian delicacy since the Mongol invasions. Even the Mongolian hordes had a refined palate for exquisite caviar from the beluga sturgeon in the Caspian Sea! Fierce warriors and sophisticated gentlemen. That sounds just like another guy I know! Come to Russia so you can meet him!
Bonus Reason – Vladimir Putin
What a great guy he is! He’s a gentleman’s gentleman and super macho too! Just this week he rode a tiger into the forest to hunt bears so the fair maidens could wear new coats. He was barefoot and shirtless and only had his big man hands to take down the bears! And he’s wonderful with the ladies! They absolutely adore him! He’s also great at sports, he’s a genius, and he’s the world’s most cunning strategist! And I’m totally not telling you this just because he’s holding me in a secret cell at the Kremlin.
(Please come to Russia to save me. I hope they don’t screen this post again. This is my 471st attempt to write this in and have it seen!)
Now you have all the reasons you need! Why aren’t you here yet? Please help me! I mean, please come to this wonderful country!
SGL
If you enjoy my posts, please upvote, follow me, and Re-Steem!
228 votes and $2.11. Nice job supergood. Read this post: https://steemit.com/steem-meme/@groovedigital/when-you-get-300-upvotes-and-0-01-payout
I think 220 of those were bot votes. So $2 from eight humans isn't bad!
No, sir, you are mistaken. We have soft and fluffy cats that, if left unattended by their owners, risk being turned into soft and fluffy winter hats. Of course, we never admit that those are the cats hats. We say they are "mink fur hats". Please visit Russia and buy a cat hat or two as a souvenir!
You're not supposed to say that! Vladimir will be paying you a visit, I'm afraid!
No, Vladimir won't mind. He got a lovely New Year present from me last year. So we're good. He really liked his new furry hat. But I'm still missing poor Barsik!... :'-(
Hahah! i love this!
Thanks! I do too! :)
I want to see Russia also but the cold and visa issues keep me away so far. So I satisfy myself with the likes of Bulgaria and Serbia, which are also awesome.
Edgar Cayce was right.
Have you tried insulting Putin? They might bring you to Russia for free! No visa required! ;)
I would love to see some of Russia some day, thanks for sharing. The mushrooms drew me in, beening from Canada, I have always wanted to see the plant life on the same parallel. As far as Putin, he should keep Trump order.
Everyone wants to see Russia! It looks so great, when looking from the outside! Please come and visit Russia! You will love to go home asap! Canada will feel like a warm tropical paradise after your trip to Russia. (I know, because I was born in Russia and I live in Sweden now – it's so much warmer here!) Book your trip to Russia today!
Mushrooms draw everyone in! And they can keep both Putin and Trump in order! :)
Upvote for you and funny story: https://steemit.com/funny/@landofcrypto/are-you-crazy
This post has been ranked within the top 25 most undervalued posts in the second half of Nov 15. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $13.45 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Nov 15 - Part II. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.
If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.
What?? $13?? Where are my whale friends?? :(
Funny.
"He’s a gentleman’s gentleman and super macho too! " - very funny to read this after hybryd war he started in Ukraine
This post has been linked to from another place on Steem.
Learn more about and upvote to support linkback bot v0.5. Flag this comment if you don't want the bot to continue posting linkbacks for your posts.
Built by @ontofractal