The $4 engine part that takes a day to install.
This just came to me. @enchantedspirit had never heard Sympathy for the Devil and just found it on YouTube along with several other songs that would have been on my radio the last time I changed one.
This is a heater bypass hose for a Mini. It used to cost maybe as much as 2 quid, or about 4 bucks. Maybe. It spans the gap between the engine and the bulkhead. If you know what you are doing you can remove the engine stays and loosen the subframe. Then you undo the Jubilee clips -- hopefully without skinning your knuckles -- and tilt the engine forward, pulling the hose off as you go. Another opportunity to draw blood because over the years that hose has bonded to at least one of the spigots. A mole wrench/vice grips and a lot of twisting and swearing are needed now. And did I mention more blood?
If you aren't bleeding profusely by now you push the new hose on one or the other spigot and fix it with a Jubilee clip. Did you buy new clips? If not you had best soak them in a bath of penetrating oil because they've been there for more than ten years by now. When one breaks go to the nearest Halford's for the new clips you were sure you didn't need. By now your knuckles should have stopped bleeding, so it all works out.
Having got one end of the hose securely fastened and relatively blood-free it's time to line up the hose and the other spigot. No? Okay, let's try again. Carefully pull the engine back towards the bulkhead, keeping hose and spigot lined up ... crap. Carefully pull the engine back towards the bulkhead, keeping hose and spigot lined up ... crap. Carefully pull the engine back towards the bulkhead, keeping hose and spigot lined up ... crap. Rinse. Repeat.
Finally it will start to go together, and a little jiggling will get the hose fully seated on the spigot. Or a little jiggling will get the spigot fully seated in the hose. It may be a gender thing, but you really won't give a rat's arse. You got it!!! That's all that matters. But...
What is that shiny thing by your foot? It looks an awful lot like a Jubilee clip.
I'll draw a veil around the rest of the proceedings. You really do not want the whole world seeing you like this.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Education is what you get when you read the manual. Experience is what you get when you don't.
Yes, brilliant engineering on the part of these automobile companies.
They seldom consider that real people have to work on them, not 6 year old kids with small hands.
I have relatively slender hands, but the fourth bypass hose was just as hard as the first.
At the other extreme is the Triumph Herald. The bonnet is the whole front end, hinged at the bumper. Some Jags and a few other models are the same. You swing it up completely out of the way and sit on a tyre to work. Tools and parts go on the now conveniently horizontal front.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Man, does this make me glad I take public transit everywhere. :D
Wuss.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Low stress wuss, thank you very much. :)
Wow, that doesn't sound like something that would be very fun to have to do. Glad that you're getting it done though. I'm sure @enchantedspirit is happy to have a handy guy around! I know I am when my hubs can get something fixed instead of requiring extra assistance. ;) Have a great day!
Oh, Lord, isn't that the truth!!! His ability to fix stuff (and do a damn good job of it) and build stuff (and do another damn good job of it) wipes many sins from his account.
Oh man, this reminds me of the first time I changed the starter motor over for my van. The thing was awkwardly wedged and I had such a hard time wriggling the thing out.
Changed over and pleased, I drove to college the next day and dun dun dunnn, cut out and broke down at the front of the queue at a busy roundabout. Safe to say I wasn't anybodies friend that morning.
Been there. Done that. I can still hear the horns.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
I'm trying to follow how your thought processes from my never having heard Sympathy for the Devil would have brought you to write this post. Now, seeing that I have a good imagination, I can find some possible routes. But still ... this glimpse into how your mind works ... (yet again) ... scares me. Srsly.
I was discussing car problems in comments when you played Sympathy for the Devil. I remembered it (incorrectly) as having been playing the last time I changed one of these puppies. It would actually have been the first. Anyway, it was a combination of things, not just the song, that dredged the Mini heater bypass hose up from the labyrinthine depths of my mind.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Sympathy for the Devil? Of course it's my ringtone :)
Nice write. I spent much of my life as a mechanic, so I have some sympathy.
I remember changing somehtign similar well helping a friend to change it was such a nightmare and could well have been this part
It may well have been. Nightmare is an excellent choice when looking for the one word to describe this operation.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Ohh yes he was more mechanically knowledgeable than me but I was more capable at the fiddly things
Thanks for the this awesome sharing! :)
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