My Armpits Smell Delicious – Yours Can, Too!

Indeed, my pits smell exactly like maple syrup.

I know – it does sound improbable and ridiculous, yet – I assure you – I'm absolutely sincere.

If you had the good-fortune to be near me right now, during this absurd heat wave – as I battle the high temps without the aid of AC – you'd likely be a sweaty mess yourself, but at least you'd appreciate the sweetness wafting from my sweaty pits.

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How, you might ask?

No – I'm not using one precious drop of that sticky, deliciousness extracted from the maple tree; that amber-colored goodness belongs on my tongue – perhaps to linger a moment on my lips – not to be wasted on skin that cannot perceive its delectable flavor. Nor am I using some syrup-scented antiperspirant. In fact – I no longer need any deodorant at all.

I can save the syrup for the pancakes and still smell exquisite.

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Here's my secret: Fenugreek!

I sprout fenugreek seeds and eat them daily. Just a small handful is enough to keep me smelling delicious for days. And it absolutely works on the fellas, too!

If you follow my handy instructions below – I promise you; No more stanky onions!

You can thank me later, as you swat away the hoards of admirers, drunk on your wonderful aroma. ;)

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First Things First

You'll want to procure a sprouting rack and some seeds.

Turns out the seeds found in the bulk section at the health food store just won't cut it. We found these on Amazon, specifically for sprouting. They're reliable and sprout well, every time.

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^{• the packaging has changed, but the Amazon link takes you to these same seeds. •}

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Step One

• pour a small amount of seeds into the bottom tray – (you'll need less than you think! It might take a few times before you find your perfect amount.)
• cover with cool water – just enough to ensure all seeds are submerged – (some will float to the top – give 'em a little tap with your finger and they'll sink!)
• soak for 6-12 hours – (I start mine in the evening, not long before I go to bed. By morning they're good to go!)

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Step Two

• drain the soak water – this is most easily done by simply transferring the seeds from the solid, bottom tray into one of the clear, slatted trays – (my first few times, I filled both slatted trays with sprouts, but soon learned that doing so resulted in far more sprouts than I could reasonably eat! Now I alternate trays, starting a new batch every few days.)
• rinse well / drain well – (I use the edge of the tray lid, tucked into each corner, to hold in the sprouts while ensuring all the water drains.)
• set somewhere out of the way and out of sunlight

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Step Three

• for the next few days, repeat the rinse/drain process twice each day – (as I begin in the evening, my sprout-care schedule is quite easy – rinse in the morning, rinse before bed.)
• it happens quite quickly; by the second rinse, you'll see the seeds will have already developed tiny tails

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Step Four

• knowing when your sprouts are done is a matter of personal preference – some enjoy them while still in a 'yellow' stage, before they grow they're tiny green leaves – (I prefer to give them a couple more days, until they're actually pushing the lid off the tray!)
• once you've decided they're ready, remove the lid, set aside and allow them to dry for 6+ hours. *(note – some take the time to de-hull the sprouts using a small salad/herb spinner. Having tried that, I've decided that's just more effort than necessary. The tan-colored hulls are rather tasteless, so...I just leave 'em on.)

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Step Five

• transfer to an airtight container and refrigerate – they'll stay fresh and tasty for 3-5 days

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Step Six

• enjoy the fruits of your (minimal) labor – add to salads or simply pinch a bunch and eat 'em on their own

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^{• garnishing my fave – massaged kale salad (I'll share the recipe for that next!) •}

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Now – I dare you to try it! It's not just your pits that'll smell so lovely – this'll make your perspiration everywhere smell scrumptious.

Dare I say...who needs actual pancakes when your sweat resembles their familiar, syrup-drenched fragrance? I promise – from the dance-floor to the bedroom – your friends and lovers will be impressed.

Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'breakfast in bed.'

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^{I was nominated to participate in @comedyopenmic Round 24 by @diebitch.
In turn, I nominate @breezin & @gray00}

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^{Following encouragement by @mountainjewel, I'm also offering this as an entry for the natural medicine contest. Learn more about @naturalmedicine, visit their intro post here and their Discord here.}

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