Respect their choices but how?
I'm Feeling kind of all over the place right now. It's like emotions are doing their own thing—happy vibes one minute, then doubts the other.
Sometimes I wish it was all black or white, no grey shades... Maybe grey ain't that beautiful after all!!!
My eldest today: before going to school. It's a no uniform day in school
Why does it feel that I'm not doing right by her? Why everything has to be so difficult??
She has been the strong-headed one since her first breath... Was not even willing to be born yet. I still remember the doctor's words as clear as it was just today... 'She ain't happy coming out, was snug happily there, she isn't happy at all...' upon asking about why she is crying so much and on the top of her lungs. She got me scared for a minute there —My firstborn who made us parents. I still remember those feelings of uncertainty, what the heck? How am I going to take care of her? She is so small and so helpless and crying so insistently...
Fast forward 14 years, she will be fourteen in this January, insha'Allah. And I'm still questioning myself every single day!!! It's not a teenage thing. She has to have her opinion on every single thing. It's okay, but then where do I stand? I am all for respecting my kids' choices, but what if they still are not mature enough? They haven't explored or seen the other side of this world. I want to be there for them, guide them, and give them all the space that they need.
But I also want to be her hero (I'm selfish, I know), but that's not how things work. It's not a Gilmore Girls thing. The feelings and emotions are far more complicated.
Ughhh...
Can you feel my frustration???
And then these combined family system dynamics... there are so many pros and cons. It's not like she is getting input from me only. Everyone has to have their own opinions. Then, I'm her safe zone. I want to be. But I don't want her or my other kids to take advantage of this situation. They have to know what's right and wrong. I can't take their side if they think that they will get by... Am I making any sense??
She is far happy to take the driving lessons from her father but it was me as instructor the other day
Don't worry she won't be driving on a main road anytime soon.
I love her with all my heart and would not like it any other way. I want her to know that every single day... I do hope she knows that deep down in her heart, although she has to test my patience to the nth degree every single day.
May this stubbornness and strong-headedness be her strengths in the future. I just want her to be a little less of those things with me.
Meanwhile, I will keep supporting her in all her endeavors. She is a good swimmer, has a true knack for arts — learning to ride is her newest hobby. I support and respect her decisions. But I will not let her make any drastic choices for herself. I will stand as a wall, as rigid as lead, between her and those decisions—at least for the next few years. Whether she likes it or not!
I get to photograph these beautiful things while I wait for her lesson to be over
I will end this discussion on a positive note:
Hey all you super mommies; Hang in there, you are doing really ok! :)
Of course, I'm not a mother)) Fathers and mothers have different stories with children.
But I proceed from the fact that all life is a continuous game with many roles. The task of parents (in my opinion) is to teach the child to play by the rules and give different roles a try. But at the same time to protect from destructive roles.
If the child trusts you, then half the work has already been done)) You're a good mother.
By the way, sometimes you can allow your child to try to break the rules, for the sake of completeness of feeling and life experience (of course, under your control :)
I know of one not very serious example... the father found his son smoking a cigarette... he did not scold and punish him, he took out a pack and let him smoke several cigarettes in a row... It's not the most humane way, but a person has developed a persistent aversion to smoking.
You have a beautiful daughter and you're going to be fine. I believe in it))
Thank you so much for your remarks. It's heart-warming to see so many people connecting with these posts of mine. I'm really lucky to have found you people with these profound visions.
Advice Noted! :)
She's a great kid. I understand your expectations from her but be assured that once she flies away from your protected nest into the practical world (steps into the adulthood), she will be one brave and strong girl.
Thank you so much for your reassuring words Hira.
Coming from someone who knows her personally is very comforting.
She does like you a lot :)
She has an affinity for nice people.
Well, you are not the only one who is facing such questions. Fortunately, my daughter is still 8 and I am safe. But my friends and colleagues have teenage children and it is not easy for some of them. The worst thing is that in certain cases the connection between parents and children is completely broken and everything the parents say is perceived by the child as hostile. I don't know how I would act in such a situation. I don't know how to become an authority figure for a teenager. I have no answers.
I do hope she is little less stubborn like my younger one:)
They have different personalities, that's the beauty 😍
I'm lucky that this didn't happen. Quite the opposite, they share every little thing with me. I think I'm lucky in this regard. Rather they tend to over share 😂
I'm sure, you are a good father and you will handle everything just fine when she enters her teenage phase.
So you and your daughter will be fine 🙂. I'm happy for you 😊.
TEAM 1
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted through steemcurator04. We support quality posts , good comments anywhere and any tags.Hola mamá, que bueno que pudistes acompañar a tu hija en su cuide de manejo... Compartes unas fotos lindas y valiosas. Saludos
Thank you so much for stopping by and your remarks :)
Oh sweetheart, you are doing just FINE!!! I can so relate to this post!!!!!!! My boy is 14 now and there is not a day that passes where I don't question whether or not I am doing the best I can. It is crazy really, how us moms beat ourselves up!!!!
This is literally the story of my life! I feel you!!!!
Try not to worry your mind and heart too much over what outside influences say - just let it be. Our kids are wiser than we give them credit for and as long as we give them the main things they need - love, support and encouragement then they will see the wood for the trees eventually.
It may not happen in our time, but it always happens!
Just know that you are amazing!!! - The simple fact that you wrote this post expressing such a concern is testament to that fact... because there are plenty of parents that would not even give a crap!
Much love to you! xxx
I really appreciate your heartfelt message! Parenting is indeed a journey filled with highs and lows, and it's really comforting to connect with someone who understands those mixed emotions.
Your encouraging remarks are kind of much needed relief —A reminder to cherish the essential things. Thanks for being so supportive! Much love to you too 💞
Any time sweet soul! <3
Hope you have a magical Monday!
TEAM 4
Congratulations! This post has been voted through steemcurator07. We support quality posts and comments!Your daughter will become a strong personality - and I have an idea who she might have got that from ;-)) You know you can't protect her from everything, but you will try. And you will both know when it's time to stop it...
You are right or as my father says that she has inherited my stubborn streak, but only multiplied by 10x....
Thank you for your words :)
Amiga no estás sola en este viaje y es que debes saber que todos los padres tienen los mismos sentimientos, las mismas emociones y las mismas preocupaciones cuando ven crecer a sus hijos. Esas dudas son normales, sobretodo en esta época en que comienzan a crecer y a cuestionar todo. Pero estoy seguro que has hecho un muy buen trabajo y precisamente ese es el deber de un padre, preocuparse y velar por el bienestar de sus hijos.
Te deseo el mayor de los éxitos y bendiciones.
Y sí, ten la plena seguridad que lo estás haciendo muy bien.
Saludos...
Thank you so much for stopping by and for your ever so reassuring remarks:)
Greetings friend @soulfuldreamer
Good job, every situation gives us the opportunity to take good photographs. Driving classes are always very interesting and exciting.
Thank you for joining the contest.
Participant #3