Of Marriage And Fidelity In The Tribe..Hermann's Observations
Howdy folks, greetings from the Great Plains of North Texas!
We're in a series about the Wild West and the incredible story of an 11 year old German boy, Hermann, who was captured by an Apache war party from his family's farm in 1870 in Central Texas.
He's now 17 years old at this point in the story and has become a full blown warrior who hates and fears the White man. And in fact, has taken many a scalp.
Yesterday's post
In the last post Hermann got himself a girlfriend but the girl's father shot him in the knee with an arrow. That ended his courtship and kept him scared of being around girls for a awhile. lol.
Today's story
Now, there were many tribes, about a thousand, all with different rules and traditions. I'm only talking about what Hermann learned while with the Apache and Comanche and how they conducted themselves in regards to courtship and marriage.
He said the women didn't have strict codes of behavior before marriage. In other words they could have sex with whomever they wanted as long as neither partner was married. They considered that to be nature taking it's course.
When a brave wanted to marry a maiden he would approach the father with an offer of a number of horses and that number could be negotiated. Two horses seemed to be the minimum value.
Or, if a father wanted his daughter to marry a certain brave he could go and tell the brave he could have his daughter for a certain number of horses and that number could be negotiated also.
So the agreement of marriage was totally up to the father and the suitor, the final decision was up to them and not the girl, but usually the girl had influence and they tried to make good matches.
When a deal was struck, then the brave would escort the maiden to his tepee and she now had a "master." Not my words, believe me... that's the term Hermann used.
Obviously it could be good for the girl, or a nightmare if the man was a brute or a pig. In Hermann's experience though, the men usually worked to find a good match and most of the time it was a couple who were courting or spending time together.
Sometimes the man was just trying to gather enough horses together to make the deal. I almost said make the purchase but he wasn't really purchasing the girl in his mind, he was purchasing the agreement or the right to be with her.
Surprisingly, there was no ceremony of any kind, just the transfer of horses which meant they were married. Once they were married though, cheating on your squaw or your husband was strictly forbidden.
The marriages were very strong though and the family units kept the tribes strong.
I don't know if there was any punishment for braves who cheated on their squaws besides tribe members talking about them and loss of honor but for squaws cheating...they had their noses cut off.
In addition they were shunned, forced to live outside or on the edge of the camp or forced to live with the brave they had the affair with. This was a very rare occurrence though.
And there were no such thing as divorces. The other rare occurrence was out of wedlock births, which was practically unheard of.
Check out this original, hand-made Native American basket I found, this beauty is in a museum, it's probably worth 50K.
![ijqn225y3d.png](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://img.esteem.ws/ijqn225y3d.png)
In the next post the action continues in Hermann's adventure.
Thanks for reading folks, God bless you all!
-jonboy
Texas
![uvsylyennv.png](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://img.esteem.ws/uvsylyennv.png)
![l1xgphrt5d.png](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://img.esteem.ws/l1xgphrt5d.png)
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My daughter and son in law were married in an Ojibwe ceremony by a dear friend. The ceremony consisted of smudging and a song being sung while they stood together with a blanket draped around their shoulders. It was a lovely ceremony that took place in their back garden.
Howdy tonight Melinda! how's it gone today? shoot I just looked at the clock and it's 12:30! I had no idea. Anyway, that sounds like a wonderful ceremony!
It was meaningful for them and resulted in some fun photos!
oh, you were taking photos of it, that's cool!
I just resteemed your post and did my own post with some wedding pictures. Jim took some of them, but they all came out of the same camera and I can't remember who took which ones!
oh, thank you so much! That's tremendous, I'm going over there to check it out!
Giving a dowry is common in some cultures. I’m glad most times the girl had some influence with whom she is to spend the rest of her married life. Cutting off her nose sounds like a cruel punishment but I guess the idea is to make her look ugly so no one will want her.
Yeah that was a terrible punishement but it helped to severely curb any playing around!
Well if there wasn't any girls suitable you could always doctor from family members about young ladies living nearby. Suitable matches could be appropriated and returned. Then the women of the tribe would train and see if they were of suitable disposition to be married to a warrior.
And you could have more than one wife...
Though the Shoshone were rare in that we didn't believe in slavery being enslaved ourselves.
And rarer that we also were monogamous.
But different tribes had different customs and laws. Rules... Codes...
Fire story!
Oh... And men didn't own the home the women did. The men Ran things but it was the woman who supported everything from hunting to war parties.
Shit when your husband takes down a buffalo? The woman took over. And lead the deconstruction of the animal.
The man rested as he was needed to guard the kill and women. Predators and other tribes...
Our world was a dangerous place.
You need to read Graham Hancock's America before book... Insane change on history...
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Howdy sir ganjafarmer! It's totally amazing how the women did almost all the work except hunting and fighting. I really like the fact that the Shoshone were monogamous, excellent. Who were they enslaved by though?
Thanks so much for all this interesting information!
Well when the warrior is the one risking life and limb... Just survival is honored. But can't have the warriors tired and slacking at protecting the women.
And the women could work at their pace.
And we were enslaved by other tribes. Reasons unknown but the oral tradition is that we were horribly abused and rose above all it.
And as to monogamous... When your women looked like modern supermodels?... Why would you care about cheating. And having a woman strong enough to guard your back... Pretty lucky.
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Howdy today sir ganjafarmer! I understand and all sounds logical and sound, thanks so much for sharing your knowledge!
We have a similar cultural thing here amongst the Zulus. Instead of horses it is a certain number of cows. Cows are a sign of wealth amongst them and the better the wife to be the more you have to shell out.
Oh very interesting, a modern day version of this system! But I assume they aren't cattle rustlers who go out and steal them. lol. Thank you sir cryptoancoffee!
That basket is very cool Cowboy 👍👍😎💖
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Howdy reikigirl! That basket looks like your style, it really does, super cool!
😄😎😄😎😂😆💖💖👍🙌😉🙏
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Hi janton, the Indians would welcome $50,000 I am sure.
So no special wedding day for the Indian ladies hey?
Haha! howdy angiemitchell! yes the Indians could use the money from that basket I'm sure. The reservations are below the poverty line with 50-85% unemployment and the suicide and addiction and alcohol rates are WAY higher than the regular population.
Sounds like whole of love needs to be poured in the Indian/white man problem. As Buddha says, only love can get rid of hate. Hate doesn't work.
Exactly or else it becomes a vicious cycle!
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Howdy esteemapp and thank you so much for the upvote!
You really have to make some documentary films too! Also a block buster movie and a long series! Then you can invite me to your opening night at the movie!
Oh! Don’t forget my specially signed book by you!
Cheers.
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haha! you sure have big plans for my sir kaminchan, thanks for the encouragement!
Hello today, Janton! Can't believe they had no ceremony at all. By the way, did they believe in some god or gods? Probably the reason is in that.
In fact, there was no place for romance in their lives, wedding eremony, Valentine's day and such ... )))
Howdy zirochka! yes they were very spiritual and believed in what they called The Great Spirit and most of their actions had something to do with their belief system.
Oh, I see. All the more, they'd have a wedding ceremony connected somehow with their god and its blessing. But... it's just my (modern) logic :)
you are very correct zirochka! Of course, there were many different belief systems and variations because there were a thousand different tribes.
Hi, @janton!
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Howdy steem-plus and thank you for the upvote!