Detaching With Love When Our Dog Bites Our Child! #183

in happierpeople •  2 years ago 

How do we prevent our pets from attacking our son, daughter, family members and friends? When our dog, cat, or pet does bite our child, what next?

What do we do with the cat, dog, or other animals after an altercation? Where do we find the courage to talk about our stories with each other without being a victim, a perpetrator, or finding fault?

Why is detaching with love so helpful in cases where we feel it would not be responsible to keep the children and the pets together?

I hope in sharing my family's experience with a dog bite that resulted in a trip to the hospital for stitches and our decision to put the dog up for adoption is helpful both for finding courage to take action in prevention where the cat or dog has already given warning signs that this is possible, to forgive ourselves after an incident has happened, and to find the love in our hearts to let go of a dog or cat in love instead of hate, judgment and regret.

Thank you for reading about day 183 of Happier People Podcast and I hope you enjoy it!

Detaching With Love When Our Dog Bites Our Child!

What do we do when our dog bites our child?

Today I will share my experience with this because I hope it's useful for any of the rest of us dealing with the same situations.

I hope it's useful to prevent the dog and a child having the altercation in the first place because that's ideal. If we have the chance to see that maybe it could happen, then we have the chance to prevent it, and in this case prevention is far better than, what do we do after it's happened?

I'm grateful that I have the courage to share this because this has been the most traumatic thing that I've been through in a while.

This is my dog here, Peaches.

I love Peaches and now, we are detaching with love essentially because Peaches a few weeks ago bit, or more accurately, dominated my two-year-old daughter.

We were in the kitchen playing and I was making a smoothie with my mother. My daughter, Madeleine, was walking around and playing with Peaches. She was giving her like a hug around the neck and the next thing we know, as my mother and I were in the kitchen making a smoothie, we heard Madeleine screaming and all of a sudden Peaches had Madeleine's face inside her mouth.

I picked Madeleine up and found that she had a deep gash about two centimeters long on the left side of her face with blood coming out, and another puncture wound on the right side with blood coming out, her face hanging open.

Immediately my first thought was, "Oh, my God. She's scarred for life."

Then, right after that, I had the assumption that somehow this was my fault even though I was neither participant in it. I did not do the biting or was not the one bitten. I did not tell the dog to bite her and yet my immediate belief inside was, "Oh, my God she's scarred for life. I did this. As her parent, I'm responsible for this. This happened because of something I did."

Madeleine started crying and screaming as soon as Peaches put her on her back. Now, Peaches did not intend to hurt her. Peaches intended to show her who was boss and show her that she was not to be messed around with and not to be played roughly that she is top dog.

Peaches is just an angel with human beings. Peaches loves adults and she doesn't do so great with other dogs though and I don't know why. See, getting into all this other stuff tends to lose track of what we can actually do and our minds want to get into explaining all these things, and saying who is right and who is at fault.

I personally have found this not to be helpful. What's helpful is, what do we do about it right now and how do we get our feelings felt and moved on about this?

Right as I picked my daughter up, right when it happened, I ran over immediately, I grabbed Peaches by the fur and tossed her right about over here where we are in the living room. I'm grateful that I used just the force necessary to completely stop any further damage.

My first reaction when I saw my daughter was to start screaming and crying right away as well.

When I feel a horrible sense of, "oh my God," fear, terror, I don't go around every day feeling that and that is a painful emotion.

Now, as a veterinarian in the army, my mother has seen lots of dog bites and lots of trauma.

My mother is of the keep it cool and keep everything under wraps, and then blow it all out later when you get home and I used to do that too.

At work, I used to be cool under anything, I'd never act like I felt anything except anger or annoyance, and then when I got home I’d either try to numb the pain or drink and be a total disaster.

Now, what works for me is to just feel my feelings right away.

As soon as I picked my daughter up, saw the blood running out of her face and what had happened I started screaming and crying. I felt awful. I felt pain. I felt shame. I felt all those kinds of misery.

Then, my mother tried to tell me to hold it together, she said, "Now, stop that. You've got to keep it together. You can't do that around Madeleine."

I cursed at her and screamed at her, and said something which is unusual for me today.

It used to be a kind of a daily thing for anyone who was around me. It's very unusual for me to cuss and get upset with people because I realize that if I'm upset with someone else I'm disturbed inside.

At the same time, when someone is hurt or injured, the logical response, the natural first response, is often to lash out. Therefore, I try to give space when someone is hurt because if I try to push, then I'm likely to get that same response back.

I realized as soon as I screamed and cursed at my mother what I'd done, and I apologized to her right away even as this is just seconds after happening.

I said, "Mom, I'm sorry. I don't mean to get out of my house," and I also said, "Mom, I need to feel my feelings right now. I need to feel my feelings now, and therefore I can be present and I can be cool and calm for the rest of the day."

If I hold my feelings inside there's this background tension that bleeds into everything. If I just cry and scream, and get it out, then I can return back to center, and that's exactly what my daughter did.

She screamed and cried for a few minutes, and then she returned back to center. Just a few minutes after Peaches and her had the altercation, she was okay. She was not still upset and crying about it, and yet as adults, it's almost worse for us because we go on and on about this stuff in our minds.

After the screaming and crying was over with, which took a few minutes, then we saw that it'd be wise to go get Madeleine some medical attention because the two centimeters or so tear along her face was deep and getting some stitches for that was a good way to make sure that she had minimal scarring.

That's what we did, we went to the All Children's Hospital, and for adults, the part at the hospital was probably much more challenging than the brief moments of terror and pain at home.

We were in the hospital, even though there was no wait, it still took about three hours to get Madeleine all stitched up and she found the process at the hospital probably worse than the actual thing at home itself. It looks like they did a good job stitching her face up. It looks like the scar on her left side should be minimal as well as the little tiny mark on her right side next to her nose.

After we did all that we came home and we talked about it, because sometimes we just need to handle one thing at a time.

What we like to do with our minds is immediately when something like this has happened to just handle everything all at once.

The doctor, right while he was sewing Madeleine's face-up asked us, what we were going to do about the dog.

Now, yes, as a medical professional he probably doesn't want to have to stitch her up again from another dog bite. At the same time though, while we were getting her face stitched up and Madeleine was crying while getting needles stuck through her face to sew her face up, we were not ready to think about what we were going to do with the dog yet.

Now, as soon as we were done and walking around the hospital heading out, I said that it probably wouldn't be responsible or wise to keep a dog around who has proven that she believes she's dominant over children.

Now, if you are bigger than Peaches she has no confusion about who is dominant, but Peaches has some confusion if you are smaller than her she thinks that she runs things. If she's bigger than you and she can push you around, she thinks she ought to be in charge.

I suggested it's not wise for us to keep a dog who has proven like that. We thought about it and we talked about it with everyone, my mother, my wife's family, friends, family, whoever would listen, and we reached a loving decision that it's time to detach with love from Peaches.

It's time to let Peaches go to a new home. At the same time, we considered taking her to the vet and, nicely termed, put her to sleep, and that didn't feel right in our hearts.

There is not one right way to do things. There is not one way that this is absolutely correct in every situation. Now, our minds want one way to be correct because if there is one way to be correct, then we can be right about things. We can say, "My way is the right way and this, therefore, is how to do things."

Well, life is not like that. There is a lot of ways to go about the same situation and to handle it successfully. There are lots of ways, we could say, to screw up the same situation as well.

What guides us best often as to what feels right, what feels loving in our hearts, and to me, it didn't feel loving to take Peaches to the vet and put her to sleep, that does not feel loving to me.

Peaches is 10 years old now.

We are looking for a new home for Peaches and meanwhile, we are keeping her separated physically from Madeleine. We are keeping her outside along with our other dog over here, Bow. He is kept separate with Peaches, so they are together.

In our hearts, we don't feel like it's right to just get her put to sleep at the vet. Now, if it's someone else's situation that might be the right thing to do, that's not up to me to decide. It's up to me to decide what's right for my home based on what's in my heart and what I follow is what feels loving, what feels kind and what feels generous.

It doesn't feel kind or loving or generous, especially if we change the language, if we say, "Let's go take Peaches to the vet so the vet can kill her." That doesn't sound like something I'd like to participate in.

I believe there is someone else who might love having Peaches in their home, someone probably older. She would be perfect for someone who doesn't have a dog, who is older, who lives alone and who would appreciate the company around of a dog.

My mother is 60 or so, and we adopted a dog for my her after my father died and that was just perfect. My mother loves having her dog around all day every day. I think Peaches would be perfect in a situation like that.

I've learned a lot from this and as we go forward in this decision one of the most valuable lessons I've learned is to be able to detach with love.

One of the most challenging things it seems in life is when we need to make some change whether it's giving away one of our pets, whether it's something like a family change where someone's passed away, where someone's moving away or where there's the end of a relationship, I think one of the most challenging things is to detach with love because it seems a lot of us are programed that we have to detach with hate.

If we leave a job we have to talk about how terrible that job was and we have to be the victim in a lot of stories or we have to be the perpetrator.

We have to say, "I was wrong."

Especially in relationships, we feel like we have to have this victim-perpetrator role where for something like this with a pet it would be easy to just do victim-perpetrator and say, "Well, our dog perpetrated this violence on our daughter and all of us are the victims of this, and she's an awful animal and we'll just have to kill her to make up for this."

What feels right for me today is to say, "I still love Peaches. I love Peaches." We have had an amazing seven years together. Peaches is the first dog I've had as an adult, she has put up with a lot out of me and she has put up with a lot of neglect essentially, and not being paid attention to.

Since Laura and I have had Madeleine, and we got Bow over here, Peaches has probably been the lowest on the totem pole in terms of getting paid attention to and most of us really want attention, we want to be noticed, we have a need to be paid attention to, and Peaches has dealt with that well.

I'm grateful today that I can separate from her with love and say, "Look, Peaches I love you. You're a beautiful dog and I think it's time for our journey together to part ways. If you want to do more good living in someone else's home, which that's what feels right, we will try to help with that."

In my opinion, that is a beautiful thing, to be able to separate with love instead of with a victim-perpetrator story, or with hate, because when we can separate with love we can truly handle everything life throws at us.

We can handle death, we can handle the end of a relationship, we can handle the end of a job, we can handle the end of an addiction, and addictions can be things to separate with love, to say, "Look, I've loved this alcohol or I've loved these substances I've used, or I've loved whatever addictive behavior, but I'm done with that, it’s time to go."

When we try to separate with hate, like I've tried to separate from my alcohol with hate for a lot of my life, that never worked because I'd end up coming right back.

It's better to separate with love, and say, "Look, I had a lot of great times drinking and I had a lot of miserable times drinking as well. I'm going to separate." Then say, "There's nothing wrong with alcohol. It's fine. It works very well for what it does and I enjoyed lots of it, and at the same time I have no interest in having that be a part of my life today."

I let that go and at the same time then, I'm okay with it existing out in the rest of life that other people can enjoy a drink or two of alcohol.

With Peaches, this has been one of the biggest learning experiences, to separate with love and say, "I love you Peaches and I love you whether you're in my home or in someone else's home," and Peaches always has a place in my heart.

She is normally outside during the day and she's inside today so I could film this video with her. This is kind of a goodbye video, that, "I love you" and we are trusting that we will be guided, we will be connected with another person.

If our thought right now is, "Oh, my God. If you're going to give her away, are you going to tell whoever you give her to what happened?"



Anyone adopting her has a right to know everything about her life including that she was found wild essentially on a peach orchard by herself, and that she just had an altercation resulting in a trip to the hospital with our daughter.

Yes, I think that she should not be in any home with children or even with other pets because she's killed several possums in the backyard. She's also maimed a few other animals and that's the facts about what we remember of Peaches.

It's important to just share these things. Now, when I say what kind of home she should be in, ultimately that's not up to me because I can describe, I can talk about her, I can share what her life has been like, I can do my part when anyone's adopting her, however, still other people can put her in any kind of home though. It's up to me to share what I know, but at the same time, it's up to wherever she goes, to share and to keep that in mind.

We were told by one rescue agency, the lady saw how Peaches reacted to her dog. Peaches just tried to bite, and she often tries to bite dogs when they come over. She's not very friendly with dogs usually, and a lady told us that we shouldn't have children around Peaches.

Now, for two years we didn't have any major issues. We had lots of minor issues in fact. Peaches would growl at Madeleine sometimes and Peaches snapped at her once, but Laura was right there, had everyone right in her arms when it happened. Now, the challenge with these kinds of things is to just share our story.

Yes, this has been awkward. I have not shared it in a perfectly presented format and life is just awkward. The truth is just a little uncomfortable or not very easy to explain, and yet we have this desire to hear the honest, the real unedited truth. That's what I try to do today, to just share that because when we each share our experience, that helps us be wise.

We can learn from what others have done without being told what we should do. Peaches dominated Madeleine, she didn't try to hurt Madeleine though. If Peaches had tried to hurt Madeleine, she might not even have lived through it.

Peaches has the ability to do a whole lot of damage and if that had happened, then my wife and I very well would have taken Peaches to the vet, I would imagine, and would have got her put to sleep. It wouldn't have been safe for anyone to have her in their home.

There might be some people reading this and saying that we are monsters because we ought to be putting that dog to sleep and that no one else should be allowed to take her, but when we each share our experience, we then can come to the best decisions without being told what we should do.

I know I don't like being told what I should do because there are a lot of implications there. I've been told what I should do my whole life and I often resisted being told what I should do.

A lot of people told me that I should stop drinking, "Jerry you should stop drinking. You drink too much. You should drink less," and I resisted that. I sought to prove all those "should-ers" wrong.

I try to avoid telling anyone what should be done today in favor of simply sharing my real-life experience, even as messy, as awkward and uncomfortable as it looks. Now, the irony is that I've learned so much from this, that sometimes I wonder if I really shouldn't look forward to -- here we go with the word should again. Sometimes the things that happened to us that are most traumatic in life also give us huge room to grow.

The 24 to 48 hours after Peaches and Madeleine had the altercation resulting in stitches for Madeleine in a hospital, I felt like I'd had a mental housecleaning. A lot of the day-to-day things I obsess about like my blog on Steem, how much money I'm making, or what people have said about me, a lot of the day-to-day things I obsess about really don't have much of an impact on my happiness, on my experience of life.

Whereas things like family have a gigantic impact on my experience of life. I'm grateful that for 24 to 48 hours, I dropped almost everything else in my life and just spent time with my family. I did still go to my Alcoholics Anonymous meetings even the day of the altercation that Peaches and Madeleine had and I've in fact deepened my relationships with some people in AA because then I had a need to reach out for help.

A lot of us wonder, why do bad things happen?

My daughter may have a scar on her face for years, maybe even her whole life because of this altercation with Peaches. My dad apparently got bit pretty bad by a dog when he was her age as well and he had to go through the rabies shots with it, and he lived a full life to 63.

I'm grateful for my father and he wasn't scarred for life from it essentially. We might call this a bad thing in saying that Peaches bit Madeleine or had an altercation. We might say, "This is a bad thing. Jerry, that was a bad thing!"

I've had some people say, "Oh, I'm sorry for you. That's awful!"

While I had an absolute moment of terror that seemed to have been shared by everyone else involved, it's hard for me to say that this is a bad thing because it happened and there's no use in calling it bad or evil. No one who participated in it is bad or evil. Peaches is not bad or evil. I'm not a bad or evil father. I'm an ordinary father. Peaches is an ordinary dog. Madeleine is an ordinary daughter, and yet ordinary is extraordinary. There's nothing bad or evil or awful in us, except as we decide it is.

Therefore, with no one bad or evil participating, there is nothing bad or evil that happened in it, and that is very obvious to see from up close. It's very obvious to see that we hurt the people we love the most and sometimes we just are going to hurt each other on a bad day whether it's with something we do as in Peaches and Madeleine having an altercation or whether it's when my wife and I have a verbal altercation, or my daughter and I just pout and sit around and cry together.

We hurt the people we love the most and a lot of times the things that hurt us and that we might think that they are bad or traumatic are actually huge growth opportunities. I feel like I've grown immensely from this and I will show you now one of the things that has come of this.

Finally, after thinking about starting a garden for months, I was inspired to take action on this. I was inspired to actually go start the garden.

Now, as you can see behind me here, I've made the beginnings on a garden after months of meaning to start a garden and thinking about starting a garden. I finally have started the garden.

I've got carrots, I've got kale planted in my backyard. I've got tomatoes, I've got some spinach and this is just the beginning. I'm doing a whole lot more on my gardening adventure now.

My entire garden, the trauma of this, the pain, the fear, the suffering, I don't know, the suffering is kind of optional. I haven't suffered a whole lot out of this. I was immediately motivated the day after this happened to get to work on the garden, not to delay any more, to get started immediately instead of saying, "Well I'll do this in a while. I'll do this once my Steem or whatever."

I was motivated to start on this immediately and now I'm finding that gardening is awesome. I love gardening. It has amazing health benefits. I will probably be talking a lot more about that. The trauma of this inspired me to start gardening and not only that, but I've been incredibly peaceful in the weeks that have followed since this has happened.

I've found from a personal development standpoint that I've been very connected with life. I feel very whole, happy and grateful with how my life is today. I'm especially grateful for my wife and daughter to be here for this.

When I look back, a lot of the worst things in my life have been the best in terms of growth, in terms of being connected with all of humanity, in terms of doing better. Struggles with my health, with my alcoholism, have motivated me to take the best care of myself and the people around me than I ever have before, to eat better, to exercise more, all those things I used to say I wanted to do and try to do.

A lot of the traumas in my life have motivated me essentially to just drop all my excuses and start doing them today.

I'm very grateful for this chance to learn to detach with love. I love Peaches so much and I know while in this video it has been more of direct communication, I've cried over this a lot.

Detaching with love involves pain of letting go and there will be more pain I'm sure, but it's funny, it's a good kind of pain because when we love someone, it almost feels good to hurt a little bit for them.

I came home yesterday, Madeleine and I came home from the store and my wife had just gotten home too and she wasn't around anywhere. We didn't know where she was for like ten minutes and that was traumatic, we were afraid, we weren't sure.

We called her phone, and she didn't answer as she'd found her sister walking around a neighborhood and was taking a walk with her for a few minutes. While we were hurt and afraid for a little bit both Madeleine and I, we weren't sure where either mama or Laura went depending on who you asked, it felt good to love so much that there's that depth of feeling there. It feels good to open our hearts up and to be willing to suffer the pain of loss.

When we adopt a dog, we are also taking on that pain of loss and it's worth considering on a daily basis because when we don't consider the pain of loss, it's often easy to get caught up in all these pointless frustrations like trying to train our dog to perfectly behave, trying to demand the people around us to treat us and act in a certain way.

When we think about how we are going to lose everyone we love and care about, it often helps us see what's really important today. A lot of us are scared sometimes to see what's really important because if we see what is really important, we might quit our boring job, we might stop watching some of our TV shows.

We also might quit poisoning ourselves with alcohol and drugs, or prescription medications. We might start eating better. We might become a totally different person if we see what is really important in our lives.

I'm extremely grateful for everyone who has had the courage to help me see what's really important in my life. Loving people, loving family, loving people in my life, that's what's really important. All these other things are little games.

The loving and having relationships with people, that is really important and if I neglect that I suffer immediately, no matter how well investments do, no matter how big my muscles are, whatever things we try to substitute for real connection and relationships with others.

I'm grateful today, I feel very vulnerable sharing this. I'm aware of the possibilities of judgments, and yet it's not my business what you think of this. This is my truth and I've shared it in the most honest and often awkward way possible here.

This is what I felt like would be best for all of us to do today. I didn't want to share this. I'd rather share things that make me look good all the time, and yet I know I feel happy when I share my truth and I often have been most grateful for people who have been willing to share uncomfortable and inconvenient truths about their own life.

Today, we love you. Thank you from Peaches and I.

If you are looking for a dog near St. Petersburg, Florida, Peaches might love to come to your home.

If you are looking for a dog, she's about ten years old.

If you want a dog, she is looking for a home.

I love you.

You're awesome.

I appreciate you joining me here on day 183 of Happier People Podcast, and I hope you have a wonderful day today.

Final words

Thank you for reading this blog post, which was originally filmed as the video below.

If you found this post helpful on Steem, would you please upvote it and follow me because you will then be able to see more posts like this in your home feed?


Jerry Banfield with edits by @gmichelbkk on the transcript from @deniskj

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This hurt. I feel your pain but I will never give my dog away but thats just me. Its easy to get rid of things when they become a challenge but thats part of human nature I guess. love you jerry and sorry this had to happen to your daughter. I hope your little queen is fine. dog love 4 ever.

I hear you NY dude. Do you have any kids? I think the love you have for your children is paramount. Still a hard thing to do. Dogs are like family also....

I dont have any kids yet so maybe i should stay quiet, but i see it as if we all learn to get along nobody will feel hurt at the end. maybe i should really shut my mouth lol

Oh man, nothing is better than having kids and dogs that love the kids. Dana white from the UFC had the same thing happen where his dog bit his daughter. We live in a weird world.

very true, animals do have feeling. can see from all thepicture, peaches is not having any eye contact anymore

@newyorkdude I feel you as we still have not given her away yet either and have just been keeping her separate! Seeing her outside by herself sometimes feels worse than the idea of her in a new home!

It's better to be safe and find your dog a home,It sucks but it's the right thing to do! Keep them kid's safe man!I will ask around and try to help a fello Tampa Bay Steemian!

Thank you @kellycakes1! If you find someone, would you please post in discord and tag me from because this will help me see it?

Thats hurt ... keep it up jerry

Hurts a lot, yup!

A dog though a friend of a man, but his actions can not be guessed.

You can't blame yourself for your daughter being bitten.
These things happen just be grateful it wasn't worse.
Yes a dog can be part of the family but in situations like this we're talking about a DOG compared to a daughter.

There really is no comparison. You did the right thing.

Yeah, sure....

daughter comes before pet

I would give up our dog in a second without blinking an eye

You're killing it man
I need to get my voting power up!
Please guys I know this will get a lot of eyes upvote me and follow me on my channel I will be here for the longterm

My dog growled at my young son, I kicked it's ass awhile... A few months later the dog stood in between me and my son after I spanked him about 5 swats .... I think it goes case by case and if it was a nip or several bites (several bites and its off the pound to be put down)

sorry about that Jerry

Wow very long story but it's nice hope ur daughter is OK


I know it must have taken a lot of courage to write and decide to post this but I totally understand why you had to let Peaches go. I had a cat that almost took out my son's eye when he was a baby and had to deal with the same type of issue. We did keep the cat but we had to keep him in a separate part of the house. Which I'm not sure now was the right thing for the cat either. My niece was bit by a dog in the face as a child and you can't even tell now that she is grown. I hope your daughter has a speedy recovery and any scarring is very very minimal. Good luck with your garden!

  ·  2 years ago (edited)

am so sorry about that Jerry ,i have never experience that, i imagine it must be very devastating
i agree you should let pitches go.

Thank you for sharing this story. I feel like we always blame ourselves when something like happens. It's human instinct and yours is clearly to protect your daughter. I feel you. What I think is great is you're not continuing to blame yourself about wanting to give Peaches away. That's a very strong and important message for people in all kinds of situations. I like your message of letting go with love. Thank you for sharing this today. This actually hit home with me in more ways than one.

Yasmine you're welcome I enjoyed seeing that it hit home for you because that helps me know that continuing to share here is helpful!

I love my dog very much.. i wont listen to anyone to give him up.. however good long post man.. took me long time to read it

I myself was bitten by a neighbor's dog when I was a child. It left a mark on my jawline. My son was also bitten by my aunt's miniature poodle. What I did is not panic and even though that our dogs are vaccinated and thoroughly taken care of, I still brought my child to the clinic just to be on the safe side. But I can understand that when it's your child that's been hurt, it's like you've been hurt as well. There will always be the worrying as a parent.

@miranas your issue is taken care of by the bot operator now. Thank you very much for your patience.

appreciate the reply. But still no upvote or refund.

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You are the first person from which I get to know about steam it. Glad.Resteemed

Great post dude !!! 🙌🙌👍👍

Not really.

saludos desde Venezuela casualmente llegue por aquí y heche un vistazo a tu blog

So sorry for your daughter though

Sometimes are pets do weird things to us . Exactly as said just better do not let them be together for some time and while your daughter grows it might get better.

i have no comment about this ...


this is a very perfect post ...!

wow what a read!

A very wonderful dog kept it♥♥♥

Really awesome photo you share always & thanks a lot to share with us.


i love my dog i just got a new one. she bites all the time me and m mom and everyone in the house but its there nature we can teach them we cant change them but having them around make feel happy and every one in the house the way they play around they so cute and beautiful

I'm glad you are getting rid of the dog finally. Dogs are animals and not just pets.

noted, good guide thanks

I think dog should be keet far away to prevent accident

@jerrybanfield, I really love animals, also love children! You have a difficult situation. And for the child there is fear and the dog is sorry! I have 4 cats in my house. I really liked your post, made me think ...

Great post love how clear and honest you are especially putting the parts of you losing your temper (which is natural in this situation) Very tough decision.

That's a heartbreaking story man.

Never leave your toddler alone with a dog no matter how loving the dog might be a dog might snap wanting to correct a child's behaviour. You dog is a senior they can get grumpy by default , also dogs hate getting hugged , they endure t but it is not pleasant to them. Your daughter may have unwittingly hurt your dog and your dog acted like she would with another dog she snapped. Had she wanted to do real harm your daughter would have not gotten away with just a few stitches. That being said as you seem set on rehoming her try looking for a dog rescue or retriever/lab rescue or near you. They will kill her at the pound as she is dog reactive. Also if you are thinking to advertise her in papers or craigslist (which I do not recommend as many dogs end up as bait dogs ) make sure to demand an adoption fee of at least 100$ as that can help prevent her going to the wrong people.Still rescue is your best bet ...

A dog desire affection more than it's dinner. Well - almost.


No need to detach from Peaches. Perhaps you should try force free animal training. It worked wonders on most animals I've had and/or worked with.

As parent, when our very own children get hurt, everything else becomes secondary. I can say we will lose all focuses and our mind is still on our children even when physically we are elsewhere when something happens to our children. I believe you did the right thing to find another home for your dog. This is already exhibiting love even though it harmed your girl.

Jerry are u from Ca?

We live in Florida and if @laurabanfield was okay with it we would be happy to pay for Peaches to travel to a new home!

dogs are the most loyal friends of people. you will never forget it.

Damn Jerry im really sorry to hear that, its crazy cause i was just thinking the same thing the other day about my dog. She the most friendliest Pitbull and lovable dog. But we never know what to expect as they get older I feel they get very protective like people and its hard to say I would not know what to do if it was my dog. I hope you find out a solution J!

@adriansky thank you very much for reading the post and your nice comment.

I appreciate you also making a witness vote for me at because your witness vote helps indefinitely to fund projects growing Steem via @budgets!

  ·  2 years ago (edited)

I was bitten by a dog when I was in the high school. It wasnt that bad, but I couldnt forget it and had phobia. Now I started slowly coming near to them and convincing myself that nothing is gonna happen. I dont really understand the reason behind the bite and that made me more confused. If I dont know the cause and I cant solve the problem.
Thank you for sharing your experience and hope that the dog finds a new home soon :) How is your daughter feeling now?

@hanen thank you very much for sharing your experience with us. My daughter is fine now, thank you for asking.

I appreciate you also making a witness vote for me at because your witness vote helps indefinitely to fund projects growing Steem via @budgets!

I already voted for you as a witness long ago. Actually I discovered Steemit after watching your videos on Youtube and now I am here :)
Keep up the good work!

The love that people have for their pets run deep but never as deep as your love for your own child. You did the right thing and I am sorry that this happened😔


can see from most of your picture , peaches can also feel it. Peaches is also ot having that affecation love we see in dogs for their master, he/she is not having eye contact from most picture. Poor peaches

Would Peaches be a part of the emotional support or service dog agencies? Or she can possibly be trained as a police dog for drug operations
I saw on the news last night how even Willey pit bulls are being trained for drug interdiction here in Florida.
Good luck PEACHES...


same thing happened to me as well

This is emotional situation , I can see the connection with you and your dog. Do what feels right with you.

A very dicey situation. You had to do what you felt was right to prevent fuether attacks on Madeline and it dosent make you a bad person neither does it mean you dont love peaches. I also own dogs so I have an idea of how they can want to dominate a smaller being. The way I see it, a decision had to be made and you had to make it. Sometumes in life we are faced with such situations. I guess we have to think of the greater good. Ps I hope your daughter is fine now. Cheers man

@thejotographer thank you very much for reading the post and your nice comment.

I see you have voted for one witness so far at and did not make a vote for me yet! Will you please add me to your list of witness votes because it will help fund additional projects to grow Steem via @budgets?

Sorry to hear your situation. You made the right decision.

Do proper care of your pets and animals, Teach and train them the best way possible so they recognize your family members and then they will never hurt them.
It's very difficult to leave them to other places because the bond we made with these animals is so pure. We treated them as a member of our family.
So, training and love is the best way to make them don't do these things.
Thanks for sharing this.

I am sorry you ended up in this situation. And you know best what to do - I fully support your approach.

How is your daughter doing?

@borepstein I appreciate your comment. My daughter is perfectly fine now.

I see you have voted for 3 witnesses so far at but did not make a vote for me yet! Will you please add me to your list of witness votes because your witness vote for me will help fund additional projects to grow Steem via @budgets and help me represent your interests in our community?

I’m so sorry for what happened, but I have a son and he had an accident not long ago and I still can feel my pain and guilty over the situation. I’m sure your beautiful dog will find a loving home Thank you for sharing this!

Dani you're welcome and thank you for letting me know how you can relate because it helps me to understand that we are not alone!

Thanks god it was not that worse!!!! Stop blaming yourself!!!! That was not your fault.Wish her speedy recovery

i have a dog but my family don't want him to as a part of family. thats hurt me alot


I love my little dog. And if she ever did anything to harm anyone it would break my heart but at the end of the day family is far more important. If the dog doesn't fit in then there is only one option. Good choice my friend.
Seen some of your videos on YouTube and since I'm a minnow it appears any help you can throw my way would be much appreciated. Thank you and God bless

@generalpatton thank you for sharing this picture of your dog with us!

Well Jerry, I'm truly sorry-- for everybody in the situation-- that this happened.

I think you're taking precisely the right action here, in detaching with love. Peaches is not a "bad" dog, but she is getting towards becoming a more "senior" dog (in dog years) and not all dogs have the same temperament around small children as they age. Since Peaches obviously is good with people, a loving home without small children seems like the most humane solution.

@denmarkguy thank you for reading the post and commenting here. I am glad to read that you think the action I’m taking for Peaches feels right.

I see you have voted for 26 witnesses so far at and did not make a vote for me yet! Will you please add me to your list of witness votes because your witness vote for me will help fund additional projects to grow Steem via @budgets and help me represent your interests in our community?

I love dogs

What you need to do is to make sure that the pet is familiar with your son ,daughter and other family members. As far as the pet don't bite you, you can also train the pet to stop biting them

That is a scared and sad situation, I have a dog as well that I love dearly, I don't have any kids but if my dog did do that to my child (if I had any) I would give it to my mother so I can see the dog every now and then. Your dog looks like he wouldn't hurt a fly, but I feel for your daughter and I pray all is well, thanks for the post!

Crying right now huhu

awesome content !!!
you got my vote for witness :) keep going !!

Hey @jerrybanfield i came across your emotional story here and just could not resist to leave a comment. I think what you did was the right thing NOT putting Peaches down. Peaches like any dog probably just had her instincts kick in. Unfortunately it was at your daughters expense. I truly feel sorry for every player in this situation. I am sure Peaches will find a wonderful home, if she has not already. These things happen and the best thing any of us can do is exactly what you are doing, which is take care of the immediate situation, and come up with a fair solution. I hope your daughter does not dislike Peaches now, and i also hope she does not think any of this is her fault. I hate seeing a family go through emotional pain like this, a family pet is exactly that, FAMILY. Anyways i will wrap this up, i believe what you did was right, and i think you get bonus points for sharing your story and allowing others to learn from it. @jerrybanfield i am going to FOLLOW you in hopes of more great stories. Thank you and good luck to you and your family.

@keepinitreal thank you very much for reading the story and responding here because you have helped me to have the courage to keep sharing my most powerful stories which I often have the greatest temptation to keep to myself!

Wao so nice i like ur work keep it up i follow u

Wow nice post

Good to see that u r encouraging people's
Nd m ur big fan...

It so SO hard to hear stories of older dogs like this, acting aggressively when they aren't by nature aggressive beings. My mom is a lisenced k9 behaviorist and dog trainer for over 25 years and we've heard these stories time and time again.

Please know you're making the right decision. In the right home Peaches will do exceedingly well, and be able to live out her last years relaxed and in peace.

In states like NJ where I'm from, if a dog breaks the skin there is a zero tolerance policy and they are put down, I'm glad Peaches has another shot - all the best Jerry! <3

I think the decision you made was a great decision indeed, people can be far to quick to make a decision to have a dog put to sleep without looking at what happened first.
I noticed peaches is a labrador, one of my most favourite breeds. It is sad to say but with every single dog you can never 100% trust them that in some way child or adult they could snap at you without warning. The thing is don't let it put you off the decision to get another dog later in time, maybe when your daughter is a little older only because you don't want her to have a fear of dogs in the future.
Secondly to make sure perhaps that peaches goes to a home where there are no young children maybe where she and the owner can feel less stressed and have a wonderful life.
This was really heart wrenching Jerry what a tough thing to have to do but of course you are doing it for the right reasons.

@crazybgadventure thank you for the suggestions and letting me know how you felt reading it because you have helped me be willing to share whatever happens next!

I really look forward to hearing the happy ending of the Story Jerry and it was my pleasure I am glad you felt that my comment helped you.

I like your post.i am a begginer. I always learn from your post. Your post is very useful for us.Thanks you for your post.



Thanks look my blog and follow :)

What a long post, I have tired from just scrolling, to get to the reply button. Reading it....mmm...not sure. BTW I hope your daughter is fine.

Mr jerry,,sorry. If that dog were to be find in Nigeria, believe me..its life would have eneded in my soup pot longtime ago..We eat dogs no time for pet...

well i sure hope she finds a great new home until she is re-homed you may want to get a small muzzle for her when she is indoors ... i hope the best for you and yours.

You are doing the right thing, Jerry. We had an incident similar to this when my youngest son was 3 years old. e also found a new home with adults only and he thrived until he passed at the ripe old age of 15. It is a hard decision to make and I give yoy kudos for your strength and conviction.

Thank you for this brave post. Must have been awfully hard. This post couldn't have come at a better time for me. Having once judged my friends for abandoning(put up for adoption) their pet when they had a baby, I feel guilty now that I have a kid of my own. Not a day passes when I don't fear my pet cat attacking my toddler. I dread the day when it happens. I think parenthood does that to you. My ginger is an outdoor cat and is very docile but he has his moments of grumpiness. He has never so far shown any aggressiveness towards my child but that's because I have always been careful. Your post has reminded me to be careful at all times. Thank you.

sorry to hear that Jerry. i hope madeleine alright.
you have lovely dog .before this happen i hope you enjoy as much as good time with peaches :)

ohhhh... so cute

Being able to detach yourself from something or someone you love requires a great strength. But its a required skill to be able to associate effectively with people especially when it comes to disciplining a love ones. Thanks for the courage to share this.