[NSFW] Win a 100% Post Upvote! Tell Me Your Best Adult "Dirty" Joke.
Hail folks! Sorry for being so damn silent this past week. What I've been working on (and flailed upon frothily) will be revealed in a post some time later this morning after get around to making a few more announcement n getting a witness update for this week done.
The "Rules"
- Tell the Steemit blogchain your best dirty joke, Under the joke link a post you'd like upvoted 100% by myself and whomever has the most user votes and the one I like the best will both receive 100% upvotes! This contest closes in 9 hours (Noon Central Time).
Going to go get a few things tidied up from today's computer buggery and get some much needed posts n communication up late in the week. My apologies again for being so silent! Been extremely busy. <3
 | Vote @KLYE for Witnesshttps://steemit.com/~witnesses | |
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Female Doctor : what can I do for you today?
Woman: my husband want intense sex everyday and several times a day. I m very stress. What should I do?
Female Doctor: Just give him my hand phone number.
Lol :p
https://steemit.com/life/@lawrenceho84/2-jokes-for-the-day
Lol I want the phone no pls
You can have mine. Jus kidding :p
What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
https://steemit.com/memechallenge/@arkadiy/meme-challenge-27-entry-1
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lol
One day, Jane's boyfriend was angry with her because all the dish that Jane had prepared was cold and looks not delicious .
SO Jane start to warming up herself by doing some simple sports beside James .
So James asked her what you are doing ?
Jane just answered that "I am warming up myself for you to 'eat'!"
Hope that this joke was dirty enough!
My link here https://steemit.com/investmen/@sweethoney/stocks-are-your-safest-investment-2017729t17202362z
What do you call an anorexic female with a yeast infection?
A Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
A salesman go out of town for business. After a couple of weeks he comes home and tells his wife about it. "Guess what dear, I earned 4000 dollars by selling 50 mattresses and 30 pairs of panties."
The wife replies "Really, well with just one mattress and no panties I earned twice as much."
.
.
.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
https://steemit.com/photography/@angelgarz/paseo-a-pozo-azul-relato-de-una-aventura-con-muchas-fotos
Biggest dirtiest joke I can think of is KYLE MAX :D
I'm from Croatia. In our country, in jokes man is called Mujo, women Fata.
Mujo was ill and was taken to hospital. Fata went to visit him. When she arrived she told him this:
Fata: 'You won't believe what happen to me on way here. I went by taxi, but half way to hospital realized I forget my wallet. I said to driver 'Let go back, so I can take my wallet'. Driver responded on that 'Don't worry about it, we will make some deal.' One block before hospital he turned into dark street and said to me 'So now, you give me blow job or sing me the most beautiful song!'
Mujo: 'And what did you sing for him?'
Fata: 'Oh my Mujo, how can I be in the mood for singing when you are in the hospital!'
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
I can't jelly my cock in your ass.. ;)
What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit's finger
I heard this one on a FLuffeeTalks video recently:
"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."
https://steemit.com/social/@hartiverse/amazon-targets-instagram-shopping-with-spark-app