There is a petition to release Zack Snyder's director's cut of Justice League. Have these people seen Batman v Superman?!

in funny •  last year

Because it is almost time for me to go into my super positive Christmas season mode, I figure today is my last chance to rant.

And rant I shall!



Who needs fun when you have a completely plausible premise that a sociopath pumped full of adrenaline can stop himself mid-murder just because his mom shares a name with his victim?

Welcome to 2017 ladies and gentlemen. A year where a movie that earns $635 million can be considered a "flop". But that is exactly what Justice League is: a $600 million dollar train wreck. Warner Brothers had hoped the movie would come close to earning $1 billion dollars. Clearly they were way off.

But that is not what has me all worked up. Movies flop all the time (especially ones that require tons of expensive reshoots in order to salvage them). What really frosts my buns is that people are blaming Jos Whedon's influence for this disaster. Many people online (translation 10 people with 15,000 alt accounts) are "demanding" that Zack Snyder's original director's cut be released on DVD.

Some have even begun a petition that you can find here. As of the writing of this post, more than 147,00 "people" have signed it (please see above).



I will not be signing this petition.

Why?

Because I remember the raging dumpster fire that Batman v Superman was!!!!


The petition states "The theatrically released version of Justice League does not adhere to Snyder’s style, tone, or template."

Thank god!!!!

Snyder has repeatedly shown that his "style, tone, or template" sucks donkey balls! His "style, tone, or template" appears to have one goal in mind: suck all the life and fun out of a movie.

Let's take a walk down Snyder memory lane...



No wonder Snyder's movies are devoid of any fun. He can't even smile when he is actually touching Wonder Woman.

Here are Snyder's directorial accomplishments:

2006 300


Even with the airbrushed abs, this movie was pretty cool. His goal was to shoot a frame by frame version of the graphic novel and he succeeded. Since the source material was so good, it was hard for him to screw it up. Congratulations! You threw the ping pong ball into bucket number one. (That's the one where if you miss it, they let you throw again out of pity for missing such an easy shot).



Look at the girl's face. Do you know why she is so upset? She is staring into a bucket that contains one of Snyder's movies not named 300.

2009 Watchmen


Do you remember that movie? No? That's OK. Neither does anybody else. Aside from commenting on Dr. Manhattan's giant blue penis, I doubt anyone can say a single thing about this movie. Watchmen is considered the greatest comic book/graphic novel of all time. It routinely makes the list of top 100 American works of fiction. Yet, Snyder managed to make a completely unremarkable film version of it. Thanks Zack!

2011 Sucker Punch


I can mark the exact date that I began to despise Zack Snyder's work. It was March 26, 2011. That is the day my wife and I went to see Sucker Punch in the theater! In addition to being completely incoherent, ridiculous and poorly acted, it was also one of the most unpleasant movies I have ever suffered through. Hot chicks fighting to overthrow some kind of prison... what could go wrong? Oh I don't know. Maybe toss in stories of incest and abuse. Oh and then rate it PG-13 so the audience feels uncomfortable watching this utter creepiness while sitting behind a bunch of 11 year olds.



Hot women, weapons and awesome costumes. How could this be so unwatchable? Snyder!!!

2013 Man of Steel


This one is odd. I didn't hate it... but everyone else in the world did. Maybe I was just happy that I didn't have to visit a psychiatrist after the trauma of viewing a Zack Snyder film.

2016 Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice


Here it is. The cherry on top of the time waster special that Zack Snyder seems to love to serve up.

As I sat down to write this, I remembered a conversation I had via chat with a buddy of mine. He and I had planned on seeing Batman v Superman together but he had to back out (lucky him). As soon as I returned from the movie, I began to vent. Here is the actual conversation from March 2016:


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I saw no cool action.

Not only do I stand by every word, I would like to elaborate.

Let's start with it being the worst super hero movie I have ever seen. I have seen just about every super hero movie ever made. The only two that I think I missed were the 2015 Fantastic Four and Ang Lee's Hulk. So I have seen the made for TV Captain America (1979) and Nick Fury (1998) movies. And yes. Nick Fury is indeed played by David Hasselhoff. Either one of them seems like a cinematic masterpiece compared to the abomination that was Batman v Superman.



Yes this is actually better than Batman v Superman. It is also only slightly worse than Hasselhoff's finest role: The Hoff eats a burger on the bathroom floor.

How about that "story"? This summer, my son begged me to watch this movie. My wife also wanted to see it. I warned them of just what a time thief this movie would be. I explained to them that they could not get back their two and a half hours. Nevertheless, they persisted. So I deiced to do them a favor and play a little game with them.

If my son were 21, this would have been a drinking game for sure. If there were alcohol involved, I assure you everyone would have been wasted by the 30 minute mark. Here's how the game worked:

I challenged my son and wife to ask me questions about the plot. The goal was for them to ask me a question that could actually be answered based on the events in the movie. If we were imbibing, every time I said "I don't know." or "Who knows?" we would all drink. In our case, we just all laughed.



Here are some examples...

"Why is Batman mad at Superman?"

"What made Batman decide to start killing people?"

"Why is Lois Lane in the movie?"

"Why is there a Congressional hearing in a superhero movie?"

"Is Lex Luthor trying to be the Joker?"

"How does Lex Luthor know their secret identities?"

"Why does Lex Luthor want to get them to fight?"

"How did Luthor make Doomsday?"

"How did Lex Luthor know the exact location of a piece of Kryptonite in the Ocean?"

(Actually anything involving Lex Luthor is an automatic drink or laugh. There is no explanation of anything he does.)

"Why is Wonder Woman there?"

"Why is Batman branding people?"

"Would your mom sharing a name with someone else's mom really get you to stop attempting to murder them?"

"Why did the government keep the giant spaceship in the middle of Metropolis?"

"Why are there cameos by Flash, Cyborg, and Aquaman?"

"Why is there a Rocky IV ripoff training montage?"

"What the Hell was going on in that desert vision scene?"

"Do you bleed?"

"Why are we watching this movie?"

"Why can't Batman, the world's greatest detective, recognize that Clark Kent is Superman?"

"Why was Ben Affleck cast as Batman?"

That's a heck of a lot of laughs (drinks) and there are infinitely more.



Superman couldn't even answer these questions... and he was actually in the movie.

To be honest, I expected the story to be terrible. But I at least figured there would be some awesome action. Aside from some cool parts in the epic Batman v Superman battle (and one really cool scene of Wonder Woman jumping and landing) the movie is incredibly boring. In addition, there is absolutely no humor at all. It is a dark and miserable movie.

When there is an attempt at something light hearted like a love scene between Lois and Clark, it just becomes creepy, cheesy and weird (oh my!). It's supposed to be a love scene and it begins with a serious conversation about some kind of official hearings? This movie is rated PG-13... and it is a comic book for kids. And yet, Snyder added an awkward love scene that could only be rivaled by the one in Ghost. Why did Snyder add this? (Take a drink) All this scene made me think was, "Hmmm how does Superman not kill Lois when they ..." (Another drink).



If I were her, I'd be awfully nervous.

So if you are one of the 10 people who actually liked Batman v Superman, and you prefer your superhero movies to resemble French art films that are confusing, drab, boring, devoid of fun and lifeless, feel free to beg the studio to release Snyder's surely unwatchable version.

I'd rather spend my time watching something more fun... like an actual Congressional hearing.

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it's actually "Watchmen" not .. "the". And it is one of my favorite movies, I thought it was incredibly well done and true to the graphic novel [ one of my favorite novel]. The opening scene is still one of the best scenes I have ever seen [ attached bellow maybe someone will be convinced to watch it].
The 300 DID birth a new genre almost and its influence still can be seen on various movies today.

WonderWoman was the worst movie I've seen this year...fun? no.
Marvel is fun enough, enough of that, the DC is not all fun, is dark and gritty. Snyder imho got the right mood ( not that SvsB is not terrible..it is!).

I will not watch Justice League though in any incarnation but i'd rather watch snyder's version.

Finally, do you know why he resigned? This is not a happy story of egos and vision, but a real life tragedy.

other than that: a fun rant!

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epic scene though.

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It's actually just "300" and not "The 300" ... ;)

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Thanks! I fixed it.

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Was just a tongue-in-cheek comment. Brilliant post this, and you now have a new follower for life ;) Can't wait to check out your other stuff as well.

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LOL. Thanks!

My content is kind of all over the place. I hope that I create some that you will enjoy. If not, you could always be my editor.

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Good catch on Watchmen. I'll fix that asap.

I did not like Wonder Woman either (I thought I was the only one lol).

I do know the story, that is why I was very careful not to attack him personally. I don't like his movies but I think I would like him personally. He LOVES comic books and wants to put a page by page comic book on the big screen. I respect that very much. Personally I don't think it works very well.

This whole post was just an excuse to let out a little Batman v Superman venom.

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yeap, i appreciated that you did not jump on him!

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I may need to watch Watchmen again. I haven't seen it for quite a while. I loved the graphic novel so much that I think it would have been tough to meet my lofty expectations. Perhaps I need to watch it with some "fresh eyes".

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I really really think you should...i mean this intro is so perfect...I watched it tens of times I think..the song, the characters..it's like a whole story in 5 minutes. Everything was on point for me..the ending is a TAD different but not by much. The acting is great, the mood perfect. 10/10

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I must be the only one in this world that enjoyed Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice as a continuation on Man of Steel, with glimpses into the history of the comics and lots of philosophical jargon, that would open up for Justice League .....

What's wrong with me :/

=)

This guy knows how to move his face for good acting

The mere idea of putting two good comicbook characters together and making them fight each other is what I do not like about these marvel-movies. It is like a boy playing making his toys fight each other in his room.

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LOL. Yeah it is a lot like a kid playing with toys. But imagine if you had those special effects as a little kid!

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Yes Sir @hanshotfirst I would appreciate the special effects and action sequence scenes but like making them fight each other and see what happens is just like that.

What I want to see is another villain that would emerge like a phoenix rising from the ashes or just a supergeek reinventing himself to fight Batman or whomever would figure out how to fight this kind of a new villain.

So there must be variety IMO, you know like in food so thatwe won't get tired of the same 'ol.

Nice 👍 post please upvote👆 my post.... Thank you

Everything said by the petition started is exactly the reason to why I signed, if I wanted to see a Tim Burton JL movie this current soundtrack would fit but the fuck is this, you can't just change the fucking tone of the DCEU like the previous movies didn't matter at all.

If Elfman wanted to have his Batman theme so badly, the least thing he could have done was to have a similar music style but no, this score single handledly already makes the movie itself outdated by default.

Not to mention that the movie itself is also lighter in tone with worst comedy everywhere according to several "critics"

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"you can't just change the fucking tone of the DCEU like the previous movies didn't matter at all." I think this is exactly what they did and they needed to.

Did you like Batman v Superman? Did you want more of it?

Don't get me wrong, Justice League was very bad. My point is that it simply wasn't Batman v Superman bad.

I can't argue with you when it comes to the soundtrack. I didn't even get that deep into the movie. I don't plan on ever watching it again so I probably never will. I was just thrilled that I didn't leave the theater furious... like I did with Batman v Superman.

These conversations have caused me to think I little bit more about this. I actually don't think "fun" is the biggest problem. I would be curious to see DC do something similar to Marvel. Have some fun movies and some dark tv shows/movies. Logan was dark and I loved it. The Daredevil series is dark and I enjoy that. The Dark Knight Trilogy was dark and those are some of my favorite movies ever.

Perhaps I just can't get over the ultra-serious take on Superman.

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where as zack synder is very successful with the movie civil war. may be high expectations against it so justice league is like repeating the bad dc when batman vs superman

I am way behind with all these superhero movies, don't you think they have made too many haha no I guessed you wouldn't agree but got to say the best superman has got to be Christoper Reeve. :)

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Superman II is a great movie for sure!

And no. No such thing as enough.

So if you are one of the 10 people who actually liked Batman v Superman, and you prefer your superhero movies to resemble French art films that are confusing, drab, boring, devoid of fun and lifeless, feel free to beg the studio to release Snyder's surely unwatchable version.

walks away in shame

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LOL. I was playing this up quite a bit. In reality, I subscribe to "to each his own".

If it makes you feel any better, I'd watch 10 Things I hate About You if it came on right now. So what the hell do I really know. ;)

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So you admit it was a good movie then ;)

is superman nailing that chik in the tub with his clothes on?"

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That is how Super he is...

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weird

The Fun Factor is I believe, why Marvel is dominating the box office over DC. Snyder flix make you want to slit your wrists. I enjoyed your rant :) Steem On!

Snyder was just a mere device WB used in order to cash in on a multiple superhero movies just like the avengers. Nolan established the right batman approach, but not all heroes fit in it. Worst thing is that they also destroy batman's enthralling tone.

Those guys must look at what others did with Deadpool and Logan. Though Justice League is performing kind of acceptable in the box office I hope it won't make all the money they're expecting. That will show them that making superheroes movies have to be more than just incoherent explosion sequences and bland, silly storytelling.

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I agree 100%. Logan was dark... and awesome!

LOL I laughed at the comment of snyder not smiling next to Gal Gadot

That will never happen. That would be WB admitting that giving the reins to Joss Whedon didn't work. Frankly, even if they didn't, JL still would have tanked. Zack Snyder is critic poison.

I'm actually a fan of longer cuts for such movies unless it absolutely doesn't demand it. And with superhero movies there's usually enough material from the comics to make for an extended cut. Which is why I wouldn't mind an extended version of Justice League (regardless of whose 'version' it is) because the movie as a whole was pretty fun.
That said, I didn't share the same opinion for the extended BVS cut (which I didn't watch) because the main film felt so irredeemable that I didn't see the point.

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Great points!

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LOL. I could not possibly imagine more Batman v Superman. Although it could guarantee that I could play my drinking game over several days.

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That drinking game alone is reason enough! WB could release so much party merchandise. They're sitting on a gold mine and don't even realise it.

300 and Watchmen were fun. I don't like so much the other works in Snyder's "oeuvre" but I'll fight for these. Probably because they were not written by Snyder himself and still retain the power of the original work.

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I'm with you on 300. But Watchmen needed to be great. It deserved to be epic.

You never know. This later Snyder epic could be a failure at the box office (Like Blade Runner also was back in 1982), only to be a big success cult classic. Who knows?

I not only agree with everythig you wrote about BVS, but there's also the fact that it ultimately fels like it was way too much and way too soon for some on the moments in the film. For example (and this is kid of a Spoiler and I apologize for it), the death of Superman... That's a moment that was so transcending and shocking, that it shifted the way comicbooks were made... And it was wasted on a Superman that we only met for 1.5 movies (the .5 being this one). And Jesse Eisenberg (Michael Cera 2.0) was a mess as Lex. I think that this film would've had more of an impact if it was done years later, when real frustation between Bruce and Clark actually existed. It's a shame.

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LOL! Michael Cera 2.0... I could not agree more. I didn't even get into how utterly terrible he was in the role. It was laughably bad.

The whole thing seemed like a rushed mess for sure.

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it's just that there's soooo much to talk about that it's fine thatf things aren't mentioned... Keep up the good work men!

Also: I hope you can also check out my posts!

I have seen none of these movies. LOL Perhaps I never will? But I LOVE superhero/comic book movies. I guess I can get away with watching them because I don't retain that kind of info...unless it's super bad. Then I can't unsee them and some valuable memory must be eliminated in my brain to accommodate the train wreck I witnessed. Hmm. I might be better off not tempting the fates. LOL

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Yes. Please avoid them. The time you spend helping people here is far too valuable. DOn't waste any of it on these. LOL

I understand that Zack Snyder was the director and had a vision of what the final product for the Justice League movie should be but the final product was surely no where near being done. It would probably require a couple million dollars of special effects, editing and other work in order to put it out. Also the average person doesn't want another cut of this movie (no one really wanted the first one.) WB will never do this and it is a dumb petition in the first place. Do any of these kind of petitions ever work?

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LOL. I'm not sure if it's real anymore. Last night the petition had 149,000 votes then today it had 147,000. It's like it was a fake counter.

Thanks for letting us know!

wonderful fun it was Amazing i like it very much you done super post ever,

where as zack synder is very successful with the movie civil war. may be high expectations against it so justice league is like repeating the bad dc when batman vs superman

Lol! Cheers for the lighter side of life!

you are such a humerous guy ..
loved your post.
thanks for sharing

Ha ha ha 😂😂 it's so funny post 👌👍 @hanshotfirst

the whole post is so good but the video is outstanding my friend

good information, thanks for you.

wow.very nice.this love moment boss.
thanks
@hanshotfirst

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Bro. Nizer post a nije V diyen na.

Very well said...

ha ha ha ha very funny post
You are really genious Bro
thnx for sharing this post.
I hope you succes

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Hells Yeah!, this would be so awesome, I love this movie. I wish they had made another one. Classic flick to watch over and over again.

So cute and funny post.. Thanks makes me laugh @hanshotfirst.. 😂😂😂

This post was very informative thank you for sharing
you have my upvote plus a resteem
@mannyfig1956

Here you mention some ranked movie list which are almost fire up, but you need to know that, there some movie exactly realistic but no ranked, this situation create as a viewer reaction, it may fire as a gentle producer, when a fresher make this it be tough to ranked. @hanshotfirst

Zack is part of the greater problem that Hollywood has ie fir far too long Hollywood has made big budget movies and big profits .... their movies are much the same old tried and tested stuff with a few new twists ... Hollywood deserves to fail because studio execs are only concerned about bottom line ...and that’s not my gripe ... the issue is that the cost of a movie is so much these days that profitability is very hard to achieve ...Asian movies fare way better terms of cost v return ratios ... Hollywood is the epitome of sin ... sick bastards and pedophiles ... they deserve all the flops they get ....

enjoyed... thanks for the sharing

thanks for sharing

have you seen that justice league ?? how was it

hahahahahha really nice. thank you

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Hahaha very funny. You are genius man. Thanks for sharing us.

i love funny video.funny video man fresh mind ,if you funny video regular watching you will be refresh all time.

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