Freewrite | Be gone

^{📷 All credits go to the owner of the photo, @fotosdenada}

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"Hey! Watch out, ma'am!". A rollerskater nearly collided with me, distracting me from my thoughts for just a second. A bit more aware of the surroundings, I kept walking to my predilect spot at the park. A solid, metal bench was right there waiting for me, like every other Friday afternoon.

I sat and felt the coldness of the seat welcoming me. The view was impressive, as usual. Sunset lights were already initiating their dance over the honey-colored leaves. A couple of golden retrievers playing not so far away with their respective owners. It was a spectacle of barks, silly behavior and drool all over the place.

The air had a peaceful fragrance. I tried to enjoy it as much as possible, but the sharp, sudden pain reappeared. That profound stitch in my heart that so often left me breathless lately. Focusing on the reason I had gone to the park that day, I pulled out a notebook from my purse and selected a proper paper sheet. I clicked the pen and began to write.

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Hi, Mikey.

I hope you are doing fine. I have to say it, these words I'm addressing to you are coming out with the highest level of sincerity I can provide at the moment. These words that carry your name are coming out of the pure need to express what I've been holding back for so long. I hope you can forgive my recklessness.

We have never met. Even so, we have spoken many times, and our conversations always have this raw, unadulterated flavor. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Except, maybe, for the immense relish of letting our body languages communicate for themselves. But we have never met.

The urge of naming and labeling objects, emotions and moments is a condition I have struggled with, not with success. To err is human. One thing I undeniably am is human. The impetus of unraveling my deepest secrets for you has won this time.

Since our conversations have gotten more and more scarce every day, I acquired the habit to go through your photos when I miss you the most. Part of me feels guilty, as a child that has been caught stealing candies from the cupboard. The culpability brings out an uncomfortable blush to my cheeks; still, I end up looking at your photos once again.

The sole sight of your face, of the landscapes you see with your own eyes and then share with the world, makes my heart race godspeed. The loudest voice in my head craves for that sensation, as an adrenaline addict. We have never met; yet, the unutterable feeling has grown strong. What a stupid, foolish move.

The desire of giving myself to you, the longing for your embrace, is consuming me. That is why I'm calling it quits. When you read this, I'll be gone, long gone.

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^{Thank you, @mariannewest, for another #freewrite challenge. Today's prompt is be gone. To learn more and take part go here.}

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^{I probably should have written "hodling" instead of "holding", due to the current lowness of STEEM's value. For more information on how low it is, go here. We shall never lose our sense of humor.}