Day 145: 5 Minute Freewrite: Tuesday-Prompt: deodorize
You will not understand my story unless you read the We-write by @f3nix and @brisby which can be found here: https://steemit.com/freewrite/@f3nix/day-110-wewrite-with-brisby-cute-thoughts-derailed They are the 2 Old Steemian's Home Vampires and after what they did in the basement, they dared @mariannewest to use the prompt: deodorize. Marianne had no other choice, because a dare is a dare.
This story is not fiction, by their own omission; I am just sayin' and not bitchin.' I am also here to summarize, as @f3nix and @brisby are stars in the movie, "DEODORIZE!"
They soiled the toilet and it became known as "rotty-potty." They hummed but soon succumbed, to what came out of their bum. The stink made them wink and blink, and they could hardly breathe, as they both shouted, "I believe, I am going to heave!" The shit in the pit, just wouldn't quit. The smell was rank as it all sank, to the bottom of the poop bank. Who or why would anyone admire, or aspire to be a vampire? Who knew, what the poop from the few, would do? I didn't have a clue, that it would turn to goo. In lieu, of the undead rat, they must have eaten a dead roo! Phew! What a stink, with every plop and plink. And their laughter was a bizarre...Hardy Har Har.
I made a commercial for the movie, it's a real doozy. I came to realize that the best way to deodorize, not matter what the substance or size, that comes from a gals or guys ass; is none other than, "Sassafras." Don't bother with just the leaves. Put the whole tree, or three in the bathroom and there will be a heaven scent breeze. It's a deodorizer...a zapper for the crapper...zap that crap! Whether you squat on the pot, or stoop to poop. Whether your pinch is a cinch, or you blow like a crow! There is no need to blush, when you flush the mush; especially if you are a blood lush. Sassafras... kicks ass!
My advice if you share the potty with 2 vampires...I would just wait until sunrise. That way, when you enter the bathroom, there should be no surprise.
You'd think I'd learn not to read your posts while I'm eating. This was too funny to stop though. I half expected Glitter Litter to make an appearance. I wonder if that deodorizes too. "Zap that sparkling crap!"
Oh, no...not again! You made me laugh. Of course it deodorizes. I wouldn't expect anything less of Glitter Litter! LOL! : )
Well, I am glad that I revisited my old post where I met you and we had our conversation, so that I could come and read this awesome story. I found this a very amazing story and while I read it, I could see it all playing out in my head with sense of SMELL too..
Thanks so much. I am glad that you enjoyed it, but so sorry you could smell it! LOL! Thanks for stopping by! : )
But these vampires suffer from insomnia and sometimes they also have their problems in fitting inside the coffin.. so I'm worried that not even the sunrise will grant your due fecal tranquillity when we're around! The sassafrass advice was unf*cking believably hilarious!! Tip!
"fecal tranquility" LOL! I think it is time for both of you to get new coffins. YAY! I made you laugh! I am so glad that you enjoyed it and Grazie so much for the tip, my Italian friend! : )
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Great stuff. You seem to have something of a talent for the comic. As for the poetry, well, anyone who can rhyme ass with Sassafras has my admiration.
Thanks so much for your kind words. It means a lot coming from you. I am so happy that you liked it! : )
This is soooooo funny!!! Can't wait for the movie 😂
And thank you for your sound advice - I will always wait for sunrise from now on!
I am so happy that you liked it! : )
You had me rolling on this lol. I recalled the post and I love this freewrite!
This is hilarious!
I am so happy that you liked this and I really do appreciate the applause! LOL! : )
I needed that 😁!
You even rhyme your story. How did you do that? Brilliant! Haha this is the funniest read of all I ever read! 👍😎🤣
I am so happy that I made you laugh and thanks so much for your kind words! I love rhyming and have a lot of fun with it. Thanks again! : )
OMG!!! I'm dying!!!!!!! tip!🤣 🤣🤣 I'm off to get ready for work but you slay me Whatisnew!!! I'll be back later to tell you more of how much I loved this awesomely hilarious and perfectly gross piece!
LOL! I am so happy to have slayed you @brisby! Love it! : )