Vacation (An Alliterative Poem, Freewrite #37: Coconut)
Freewrite
Today, the freewrite prompt is coconut. Instead of the usual freewrite, I took a bit of inspiration from @bennettitalia and wanted to write it poetically. It did take me a little bit more time, as I wanted to make it alliterative, but I have not went back to edit it (except for line breaks and typos). I hope you enjoy this alliterative poem.
For those that do not know, alliterations are styles of writing where a some syllables or sounds are repeated within a phrase.
Vacation
Sipping a cool coconut drink
on a Caribbean beach.
The sun scorches
on my already suntanned skin.
Fruity flavour in my mouth;
feet splashing in the waves of warm water;
sand stuck between my toes.
This is a beach haven; heaven.
The pure air eases my tension,
like a heavy anchor
my stress sinks into the seas;
yet unlike an anchor,
it dissolves into the salty water.
A gentle gust greets my face,
freeing my hair only to tie it up in knots.
Cheerful children playing nearby;
they shout and scream,
unless they are licking an ice-cream.
A beachball bounces onto the sea; ripples.
"Please, can you bring me the ball,
I don't know how to swim",
one boy asks nicely.
No problem, here you go.
And there they go,
playing with the wet beachball
which now got sand stuck to the wet side.
Not yet sunset,
but the moon is mingling with the clouds,
chattering about his tirednes and the ocean's tides.
Woken up and working way too early.
It plays hide and seek,
hiding again, then takes a peek.
I smile; the moon is the last drop of paint
on the vivid canvas picturing my vacation.
Welcome to the Sombre Days
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmRf1Aab5SnWErzVzGFBn1ua472ReRgKjS5o5FWxx11fsb/rsz_final_cover.jpg)
Diseased Land is the thirty-fourth poem in the collection, Welcome to the Sombre Days. The book is available on Amazon and Kindle. I am also posting the poems on steemit; here are some of the poems I recently posted:
Latest Poems
Diseased Land
run!
absent
Ghost
![Freewritehouse-footer-500px.png](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://steemitimages.com/DQmY73bhwxZbFPVvGvGshKPCtEzK7fseuHjaxCDEW4fB6Pe/Freewritehouse-footer-500px.png)
I enjoyed this piece. It was very image laden. Thank you! Wow. This is an excellent expression of deliberate practice and intent. You inserted images I could see. I could feel the wind off the waves almost hear the roar of surf and children playing nearby. Yes.
I think back a few months and your poetry was not like this; it was more abstract.
I was waiting for a revelation or a commentary on what it meant. Or what the significance of these images were. Did they change you. Did they change the speaker? I kept waiting for the turn like a sonnet or the last line of a haiku.
Keep it up. I enjoyed this!
Oh right, I remember! Yeah, steemit has helped me grow tremendously. There are obviously still pieces that would need work, but I am glad that I'm doing much better :D
And wow, I'm surprised and humbled to how much you liked this! A huge thank you for your comment!
Another great poem! The feelings you try to convey through the poem feel too real, like you where actually there, is this based on a personal experience?
No, I mean, I live on an island so it's easy to picture what the beach looks like (even though I haven't been to one in 4-5 years). So the imagery is easier to come up with since it's familiar. I have had cocktails before, but on the beach. I've seen sunsets and moons, but not during that event :P It's just a little combining of this and that and putting myself into my character's shoes. Unless they're not wearing any.
I feel you, i don't live on an island but i live in a Caribbean country. I literally live 2 mimutrs away from a beach but i have not touched sand since 2014 lol!
Ahaha similar story then! Most people would lynch us for having such opportunity but we do not take it, but the beach is not for everyone.
Cool freewrite! I love it when I come across a new style.
Also, today I am running a bit late, but I’m here in a rush of spastic, distracted thoughts to deliver Today’s Daily Prompt for the freewrite. Feel free to join us if you have the time and thank you for joining us today! It is such an awesome community to be a part of and now we have a new page with contests, new challenges and even more community:
It was as cool as the coconut drink ;)
Alliterative poetry is one of my favorite... I love how this world rolled off of my tongue and the many rich images that you shared. I truly felt a vacation in these words. Thank you for taking the time to share this with us.
Oh wow! Thank you for your comment. I'm a bit surprised that a freewrite poem still had a positive effect. I really should dabble more into alliterations in my other poetry. Thanks.
I edit Forgotten Ground Regained (https://alliteration.net), a website devoted to modern English alliterative verse. This is a courtesy note to let you know I've linked to this poem from the following page: https://alliteration.net/community/poetswriters/ ... my goal is to make it easier for people interested in alliterative verse to find one another and their work.
Try Our Service Before Buy🎁
we have paid service too so please check them too. Active the free upvote service and learn more about it here : JOIN NOW CLICK HERE