The Color of Change: My 5 Minute Freewrite, Prompt 'Describe the Color Green'

Let me tell you how I feel. They say that jealously is green, so I guess what I'm feeling is a gut level, soaked to my bones, pumping green blood through my veins, deep dark forest green.

I don't even know what to do about it, but I think I just caught my boyfriend cheating on me. Again. It was a total accident, I was going to surprise him at work and instead I saw him leaving with another woman, he arm around her, looking at her like he used to look at me. He freaking KISSED her as he was helping her into his car.

I felt green, all right. Knocked on my ass, consumed by jealously levels of green. I felt like I couldn't breathe, part of me fighting against believing it... but it was right there in front of my face.

I followed them in my car. I wasn't thinking about the fact that he'd recognize me, I wasn't thinking about anything, really. My rain was whirling too fast, filled with all the green fog of jealousy, beginning to fill with the dark blood red of revenge, of rage.

I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, but angrily brushed them away. I was angry, damn it, I wasn't going to cry like a damn baby.

Fuck. I was sobbing, now. I could barely see. I really shouldn't have been driving and I knew it, but I had to see where they were going. I couldn't have any doubt. If he got away with this, if he even thought he'd get away with it, he's deny it until the cows came home. We both knew that he "never" ever did anything wrong and nothing was his fault.

I thought of our past years together. Every time I questioned him about anything... after that first time he was caught. He'd make everything my fault. He'd yell and scream at me until I caved and stopped bugging him about it. I'd been the perfect girlfriend. I'd taken care of him and made sure his life was as comfortable as possible. I paid most of our bills so that he had plenty for his boys' nights out and his nice new car. His nice new car that she was riding in right now. I thought about that time last week that he got so angry with me for breaking his favorite cup. It was so stupid and certainly not the thing I thought would actually lead to him hitting me again.

Something snapped inside me as the memories swirled within the greens and reds in my thoughts.

The green started to fade, the red started to fade as I realized that I could do better. At the next light I waved good-bye to him and his abusive asshole ways and took a left. Home. To pack.

It was time for the green of new beginnings. Of freshly mowed grass in my own home, living my own best life.

Prompt: describe green
Set your timer for 5 minutes
Start writing
Use the hashtag #freewrite
Publish your piece and leave a link to your post on this original #freewrite post by @mariannewest