Be Unapologetically You: My answer for @freedomtribe's Freedom Challenge
There has been one barrier that has tripped me throughout my whole life, and that is the thought that I need the confidence to succeed.
In my mind’s eye, I see this person (me in another dimension) strolling effortlessly through life, with enough confidence to say what is needed to be said and to do what is required to be done.
For 40 years I have strived to be this person.
Yes, I’m painfully shy, but is that really a bad thing?
I take a little bit of time to get to know people, and I’m not great at small talk, but so what?
This constant quest has resulted in social anxiety and a mountain top I will never reach.
So, I have come to the realisation finally, that the answer is to accept myself as who I am and tackle the mountain one step at a time, enjoy the discomfort, and the journey and where I end up is not as important as the new connections and friendships I make.
So this forms my basis to the answer question posed by @freedomtribe …
Learn to Accept Yourself
So, I lost sight of what is really important in life, that happiness is found on the inside and not to have unrealistic expectations of yourself.
Freedom is in accepting yourself, your limitations and being gentle with yourself.
You can still strive for things, set yourself goals, but make plenty of little goals to encourage you as you hit each one.
Some of them need to be in reach, like stepping stone across a pond.
You can’t expect to jump over the pond and not get wet.
But if you use stepping stones, you can get to your destination in dry clothing and instead of a soggy rucksack, you have a bag full of newly achieved mini goals.
Enjoy the journey. Sure you might slip and get a toe wet, or get a squishy sock, or there may be holes in your shoes and the water seeps in, but you carry on regardless.
When we never stop, never quit, and we keep reaching out to improve ourselves and to help the world and people around us, then you know what?
We are doing okay.
It's Okay, All is Well
It might be our words, our kindness, our actions that make an impact somehow.
Even just making someone laugh or smile every day (and that person can be yourself by the way), the world is a little brighter.
Just don’t try to be someone who is entirely who you are not.
I will never be a ruthless businesswoman, not that deep down I ever wanted to be one.
But that’s what I was encouraged to be like, and a marketing degree, masters and many failed job interviews kind of show it wasn’t the right path, but the knowledge has served me well and my university days contain some of my happiest memories.
Actually there is planned university meet up in a month or so, and I’m really looking forward to that, with more than an ounce of social anxiety mind, but I have made my mind up to face these challenges and get out from behind the keyboard and use my voice as I’m so out of practice at that.
But I like to listen too.
And you what, that's okay also.
That’s me, where I am on my journey.
I have lots of good qualities that I am known for and, I try my hardest to remind myself of these when anxiety hits.
I’m actually beginning to like who I am.
And I’m feeling a whole lot lighter for it, and freedom is in reach in so many ways.
My Greatest Wish
I don’t know why it takes so long to learn that lesson, but my greatest wish is that everyone comes to that realise its okay to be who they are before the age of 20 and enjoy many years feeling the bliss of personal, spiritual and mental freedom.
Shyness does not have to be bad and it can be rather a skill, a mechanism of patience, of beautiful silence, of contemplation.
yes, its one of those things that is a blessing and a curse. It stops me from meeting new people, which I really need to do, but it is also part of me. I'm coming to terms with it, but I will need to push a little to get past this barrier.
Awesome. Me too. You are awesome. I totally agree and feel you.
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Some lovely thoughts on freedom and the things which have limited you.... Bravo to you for going to that reunion and standing strong in the knowledge that who you are is perfect. What a free and lovely thought.
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I'm getting there, not being sooooo harsh on myself.
I visit your account after you made a comment with my post. Then I'm so amazed on how you explained freedom. I felt very shy as I'm reading your content.
Very well explained, I adore how you write and it made me envious. Sorry I just can't stop myself appreciating those who write well.
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Thank you.
Although I have to say that you write and explain things well too.
thanks but I'm not confident yet and proud of myself. I'm still learning and I'm willing to hear any comments from my post and I prefer bad reactions. hehe
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Indeed, we are all doing okay. I'm not so sure about everyone knowing themselves before they 20 is the right milestone. Afterall we are ever changing beings, constantly evolving and that in itself is a freedom. Afterall, is that not what your 20s are for? All part of the fun. And helps become who we are. All experiences are important to shape who we are today and who we become tomorrow.
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I guess I didn't mean it like that, I guess to be more gentle with yourself and accepting of who you are warts and all and allow yourself growing room and inward reflection.
100% agree. Living and loving yourself for who you are... And just striving to be a better version of yourself
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Here's to squishy socks! Put your hand on your BEAUTIFUL heart, @hopehugs, and tell yourself you are ACE, because you are, because you are YOU. Xxxx
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Bare feet is good! Thank you @riverflows, I can feel good things are not too far away now, and I am finding the little ones to make every day a little happier. I think it is rubbing off on the girls too (well fingers crossed).
I can truly relate to what you wrote and do wish that this had come to me much sooner in life. That said, I am not sure I would have been ready to hear or feel the truth of this message back when I was 20 (I would not have believed myself).
There is so much goodness in your words and honesty. I think sharing messages like this are deeply important, and I am grateful to have read it. xx
Maybe 30 would be more reasonable wish.
Sometimes I write what now me would want younger me to know. lol
I do that all the time and whisper it in my son's ear so that maybe some of it will stick. He is 22 now and It drives me nuts that he refuses to learn from my mistakes! :)