So my friend Bob the Statist is a terrible, horrible cook. I leave him alone with this pizza & lighter fluid for 15 mins and he turns the pie into a carbonized fossil. Here's the proof & story. Way to go Bob.
My friend Bob the Statist is an awful cook.
--
He knows it. We all know it. You cannot sugar coat this or whitewash it like government does to cover up their broken system they impose on us. He is awful around food LOL.
Anyways, that is me standing with the charcoal life form that once was a pizza. Here's the TLDR version of this horror story.
We regularly joke about this pizza incineration incident from June of 2010 just a couple months before my city council campaign started so I could actually BE the real fighter my city needs to get things done FOR THE PEOPLE.
Today, this picture came up in my Fascistbook memories feed and I wanted to preserve this memory forever on the blockchain, because frankly, I forgot about this picture completely, and we do discuss this day a lot years later:
--
How do you burn a pizza to a dried black carbon form?
--
Well, against my better judgement, I let Bob the Statist have his way this day with the cooking, thinking
" How bad could it be, "
Well this is exactly how bad it could be.
How someone could ruin a pizza, that we all know I love, blacken it until it could be used for charcoal, is still beyond me.
He got out his Big Green Egg cooker:
which as you can see or read about - is a foolproof ceramic cooker/smoker you use with wood or charcoal.
He decides in his ultimate wisdom to cheat today and fire a bunch of lighter fluid onto the wood, which is TERRIBLE FOR YOUR HEALTH I say since I am a bit of a hippie health freak natural kinda guy.
He squirts about 100mL of KEROSENE fluid in anyways, (that is a LOT) and the fire gets roaring and you can SMELL the toxic fluid likely burning the next town over.
It is a nightmare.
My beloved pizza is stuck inside the grill, smoking away, the clouds are billowing out of this small grill, the smell is so toxic it is choking me out like Ronda Rousey in the MMA ring in one of my dreams...
The toxicology tests would have been legendary if you took a sample of my blood after this. I tried to choke down a couple bites, but the kerosene was so thick in the food, I literally tasted it for a month.
I am telling you the God's honest truth here: The toxic Kerosene smoke and flames were literally rolling out of this grill, in billowing plumes of BLACK smoke.
That is bad.
CONCLUSION:
Statists can't get anything right.
Thanks for reading, have a nice day.
If you liked this blog post - please Resteem it and share good content with others!
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Please note -- I will have limited internet access for awhile -- so PLEASE do not be upset that I cannot reply right away, or to everyone. I am dealing with some changes, and will have limited time online and will be happy if I get a few blog posts up a week.
My friend Bob the Statist is an awful cook.
--
He knows it. We all know it. You cannot sugar coat this or whitewash it like government does to cover up their broken system they impose on us. He is awful around food LOL.
Anyways, that is me standing with the charcoal life form that once was a pizza. Here's the TLDR version of this horror story.
We regularly joke about this pizza incineration incident from June of 2010 just a couple months before my city council campaign started so I could actually BE the real fighter my city needs to get things done FOR THE PEOPLE.
Today, this picture came up in my Fascistbook memories feed and I wanted to preserve this memory forever on the blockchain, because frankly, I forgot about this picture completely, and we do discuss this day a lot years later:
--
How do you burn a pizza to a dried black carbon form?
--
Well, against my better judgement, I let Bob the Statist have his way this day with the cooking, thinking
" How bad could it be, "
Well this is exactly how bad it could be.
How someone could ruin a pizza, that we all know I love, blacken it until it could be used for charcoal, is still beyond me.
He got out his Big Green Egg cooker:
which as you can see or read about - is a foolproof ceramic cooker/smoker you use with wood or charcoal.
He decides in his ultimate wisdom to cheat today and fire a bunch of lighter fluid onto the wood, which is TERRIBLE FOR YOUR HEALTH I say since I am a bit of a hippie health freak natural kinda guy.
He squirts about 100mL of KEROSENE fluid in anyways, (that is a LOT) and the fire gets roaring and you can SMELL the toxic fluid likely burning the next town over.
It is a nightmare.
My beloved pizza is stuck inside the grill, smoking away, the clouds are billowing out of this small grill, the smell is so toxic it is choking me out like Ronda Rousey in the MMA ring in one of my dreams...
The toxicology tests would have been legendary if you took a sample of my blood after this. I tried to choke down a couple bites, but the kerosene was so thick in the food, I literally tasted it for a month.
I am telling you the God's honest truth here: The toxic Kerosene smoke and flames were literally rolling out of this grill, in billowing plumes of BLACK smoke.
That is bad.
CONCLUSION:
Statists can't get anything right.
Thanks for reading, have a nice day.
If you liked this blog post - please Resteem it and share good content with others!
--
Some of my recent blogs:
--
If you feel my posts are undervalued or you want to donate to tip me - I would appreciate it very much.
--
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@barrydutton thanks for another great post barry have a good day and keep steeming on
Thanks for the Steemy pizza love my man!!
I love your pizza love. I too, have a love for pizza love. Pizza is love. Love is pizza. Be it carbonized fossil pizza it is still pizza; it is still love.
Pizza forever. Love forever.
I take it you like pizza.
I think that you meant to write the word love in place of the work like. GET IT RIGHT OR PAY THE PRICE. THE PIZZA PRICE . . . WHICH IS $5 AT LITTLE CAESARS . . .
Pizza! Pizza! Stuffed Crust
Pizza.
Big fan.
You missed my entire post a month ago dedicated to pizza with about 15 photos of me with pizza and my Canadian Pizza magazine subscription as proof LOL
Now Im getting a bit more of this whole pizza thingee content.
How can anyone add to this reply???
A statist would try but they would suck at that too.
God love ya Matty, keep speaking truth LOL
hahaha, can't stop laughing reading your post...
I am glad --- that makes me happy.
Like a non burnt pizza in front of me.
That's pretty funny, but if it was so bad and you could TASTE the kerosene, why on earth did you eat it? :)
It is nice to hear from you Steph.
I love pizza. I hate to waste anything.
I had to give it a try. We went out for dinner that nite LOL
You're a brave man, @barrydutton. ;)
nice story
Thanks.
One of the funniest things I've read in a long time.
BTW, have you noticed that Big Green Egg people are like a cult? Making this even more surprising - how can he screw this up? I mean, don't you have to be indoctrinated with a smoked pork shoulder ritual?
Dave you make a really EGGcellent point here on the cultish following, I have always thought similarly about their fellowship inside the egg.
You would be surprised at the things statists screw up inside and outside a kitchen.
LMAO! Never trust a statist :) Great story
Great reply!!!!!!!!!!
I love you Dood.
Steem On man!!!!
The problem with statism is that nobody is responsible for what they do! If they burn the pizza... they just take somebody else's... It's wonderful spending other people's money!
Statists: Incinerating hard earned extorted tax dollars since Jesus was a free schooled Kindergarten'er.
Ask Caesar. It's right in the bible.
As you know!!
Amen Brother, Amen... Render unto Caesar!!!
Hey @barrydutton did I see you won a trip to SteemFest!?
Affirmative.
The 2 posts are on the nice whale @joseph's page the last few days.
That is great! Congratulations!
This is hilarious. The question is can the black carbon charcoal remains of the pizza be used to enhance the flavor when grilling in the future? A sacrifice to the grilling gods has been made!
You make great points here. Hmmmmmm.....