The Extraodrdinary Café
View this post on Hive: The Extraodrdinary Café
5 years ago in #finishthestory by tristancarax (66)
$16.12
- Past Payouts $16.12, 0.00 TRX
- - Author $12.19, 0.00 TRX
- - Curators $3.93, 0.00 TRX
Very interesting take on this story. I've read another 2 already and all of them were so different. I love to see the creativity of artists joining this contest.
I wonder who this guy was and how come that he knew about his story. Matt is very happy with him showing up then. I hope that it was the last time when he was about to get into her hands as that man wouldn't be there to save him all the time :)
Thank you for sharing and congratulations on your curie vote!
It's almost like all the stories can be tied together into one crazy adventure. haha
I'm wondering the same thing. I'm not sure what this old man's plans are. You caught that Matt's real name was Anthony, right? The idea behind this was supernatural like thing going on. I'd have to write more to see where it ends up.
Thanks for stopping by.
(Henlo, I like to mention that me and mój Ukochany [@calluna] coprompted this edition. Can yah make the fix now? Thanks!~)
Hmmm, the brain I stole from Lorerunner's head has to sit down for a bit and not ruminate on what has happened. I mean I knew another story was being interwoven with this post, hell yah gave us the dead-on clue that it stems from a Sunday freewrite. Where I will not be like some people that despises a narrative that interrupts another narrative going on, I like to say it reminds me much of my entry with the highwaypeople driving a truck to somewhere. For that I will be biased, not like we all are biased in one way, shape or form, and say that this interruption by another narrative works. But I shall stop here before it gives some people that cock-eyed reminder a bad taste in their coffee.
The name Hecktor came to mind. At the time, I thought you might think it was connected to you, but not this time, nor to @calluna. 8-) Although, she did read that freewrite and I'm curious to know if this piece read differently to her than the first time. When I did the Sat. freewrite, I had in mind to work with the FTS.
Haha. I hear what you are saying. I missed the piece that you wrote. I wrote a similar piece that went completely out of the story way back when I first started showing up. We've got to throw those curve balls once in a while. Besides, this could be only the beginning of the story.
Nie, I know it be not connected to me and semi-connected to @calluna. So nae worries brother.
Hue hue hue hue!~ We do indeed need to do that from time to time. Especially when it's just the beginning of the story! (I need to find a way to get @f3nix on board for a contest where people begin a tale, or "explaining the story away!" or something to that nature where people jester a beginning.)
Interesting thought. It just might work.
Just might... proceeds to flood, personally myself, @f3nix’s dms
Hi tristancarax,
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Haha!!! Awesome
Whoa, that is an unexpected twist. The old man is not a friendly stranger who's looking for some chit chat. I didn't expect it at all, but it's good to be surprised.
Congrats for your curie vote =).
Any time I can get you to look over here and away from your artwork is a challenge I accept. 8-)
Writing a freewrite from the beginning FTS prompt gave me the chance to create this unique piece. I thought I'd have a hard time connecting the two. A little bit of editing solved that problem.
Thanks. That surprised me. 8-)
Ooo this works so well, and it does read differently, in your freewrite it came across as a more immersive moment, where as here each line adds another layer to the tension. Matt being Anthony is such a twist!! It is amazing how with a few tweaks, and a slightly different setting it feels like a whole other story to your freewrite.
I know you were probably up against the word count, but i feel like this could have gained a lot from having the story interspersed with Matts reaction what Hecktor says to him, his growing concern, tension. The story you brought from the freewrite is so good, you could par it down to gain words and it would still work just as well. The trick then would be to keep that tension vague, so it could be read at first as him worrying about the girl, and then once the plot came together at the end, that tension would make sense in him hearing his own story. Which we both know you could do no problem ;) That said, this works so very well as it is, as proved by your well deserved curie <3<3
Thanks for your humble thoughts. They will be kept here for me to draw on in the future should I take up the challenge of expanding this piece.
Thanks for reading a second time. It's nice to know that I was able to change the way you looked at this piece vs. the freewrite on its own.
Than again, I am no expert :p I more just very much hope you do expand this again, and I get to read it in its next form (message me if I somehow miss it when/if you do)
It is a great skill to give the same words a new slant, and to use that slant to tie up the opening here is just even more impressive, and it does work so well.
I loved the dynamism of the dialogues and the accurate details during the whole action. I also liked how the story suddenly transitioned into an immersive scene when Hector started his story to Antony/Matt. I can tell that this was coming from a freewrite. Sometimes we would like to have such a deus ex machina (or a Mr. Wolf) in our lives letting us off the hook.