Finish The Story - Week #46 Entry

in finishthestory •  17 days ago

Hello, I am getting to this a little late this week. I have just been very busy. Still, I wanted to give it as shot as this is really fun to do. Make sure you check out the contest here If you can't write a story today think about taking part in the next one. @bananafish is a great follow for this contest and others.

Here is the first part of the story.

by @dirge

Benjamin Leitner, son of General Reinold Leitner, grandson of Count Dietrich Leitner, stepped from the stagecoach and lit his pipe. The night was cold, the sky a vast black emptiness. The moon, if it had shown itself at all that night, was gone, and nothing but the light cast by Benjamin’s lantern offered solace from the creeping dark.
He’d reached the graveyard, home of his family tomb and its historic dynasty. It was a forbidden place, the site of his late mother’s suicide, where Leitners were entombed stretching back centuries. He hated this place, more than anywhere else on earth. But he’d come, alone as ordered to. He’d come, as he had no other option but to do so. And he’d brought the gold.

The letter was written in her typical style. Loquacious, expounding on the nature of their relationship, apologizing for her affairs, thanking him for standing by her throughout it, remaining at her side despite all the controversy of the town. Despite even her own parents telling him to abandon her as a lost cause.

She’d not only dragged herself down into the mud. But him as well. Benjamin the financier, of Wolfstone and Kauffman, now the cuckold of all of Austria. But worst of all, she’d tarnished the name of Leitner.

And when the accusation came, of witchcraft and devilry, of black magic and the most bestial of sacrilege, of whoring in the night endowed with opiates unto madness. Well, it was no wonder when Kauffman wanted out.

And still he stood by her.

Should he have been surprised when the letter came, demanding the last of his finances or else she’d accuse him in the papers of having masterminded it all? Of being an original scholar of the black arts?
That would render the Leitner name into devilry.

No. He couldn’t allow that.

Benjamin finished his pipe, the tobacco was charred and ashen. He cast the ash into the wind then slipped the cherry wood pipe into his coat pocket, beside the letter crested with her seal.

Melinda. Oh, you wench.

I’ll be in the crypts, waiting.

He suspected she wasn’t alone. Benjamin suspected the whole carnal tribe to be down there, waiting for with her.

Well, so much the better. Let them all wait for his arrival. Let them all see the truth, the forbidden history denied to the world. Stretching back into the foundation of the soil. Let them know who it was that the Leitner’s may be.

He stepped across the grass, peering at the graves of his forbears till he reached the central crypt. The iron gate was ajar and the darkness seemingly impenetrable. They were down there, waiting for him.

“Melinda,” Benjamin said to himself. “It could have been different. So different. But you threatened my name. For that, I cannot forgive you.”

He entered the crypts.

“Time to meet the family,” he thought to himself, almost with a laugh.

Torches lit a path through the crypt. He was sure they lead to a trap. Melinda really had no idea who he was. She played at games of the dark and he allowed it. He thought it was cute at times. She had made a mistake to not fear him. As he turned a corner he could see her standing at the end of the corridor. He could feel the others lurking around. Why not play at her game for a moment.

“Melinda, I will give you a chance to apologize for this. Do it now and I will forgive you one more time”

“Benjamin, you have always tried to protect me. Silly man. Now, do as I told you or I will follow through.”

“You have no idea what you have done but it doesn’t matter.”

Benjamin could hear the others coming from behind. He dropped to his knees and whispered in the forgotten tongues of man. A mist filled the floor and the torches all went dark.

Benjamin could still see. He moved quietly behind Melinda. She held a little blade now and she peered around in the dark. He disarmed her and pinned her arms against his chest. It was time for her to hear some truths.

“Melinda you have made many mistakes but to meet me here will be the last. I know your friends are out. Let us listen to them scream as they meet the rest of my family.”

“What are you talking about?”

A scream came from one of the tunnels, then another and another. Melinda stopped trying to escape as they continued. Then she began to shake as a figured dragged a body in the room.

“Say hello to my cousin Melinda. How many souls did you bring me tonight?”

It continued until there were ten bodies piled up on the floor. Benjamin pushed Melinda down to the floor with them.

“You see now, don’t you? Why I let you play at the dark arts? My family has been studying them for generations. I had hoped to teach you one day. Yet your betrayals always stopped me.”

He tossed the blade down at her feet.

“I will give you one chance at peace in death take your life and I will not add you to the souls I control.”

Melinda looked around at the corpses on the floor and grabbed the blade. She lunged at Benjamin.he stopped the attack and placed his hand on her forehead. He started to chant. Melinda’s pupils turned black and she fell to the floor.

“Get up now and follow me we are leaving.”

“Yes master right away”

Melinda stood and followed Benjamin out of the crypts. Now she would spend the rest of her life as a servant of his. Then her soul would serve the family. Normal people never do understand eternity. If she did she would have taken his offer.


speculative fiction writers of steemit

Image by @EdibleCthulhu

image source

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Awww so glad you made it anyway!

I really love that that you gave us an actual meeting of the family!! You have done a really brilliant job of identifying and carrying the threads through from the first half, some elements of mystery you reveal, others you expand, but leave shrouded in possibility.

The way the Benjamin offers her forgiveness and compassion really fits with this man who gave her so many chances. You give us this picture of perseverance reaching a breaking point with a degree of sad resignation as she forces his hand. It was so clearly not what he wanted, the woman who could have sparked black magic along side him, who he tried to teach, and chose something else every single time, will at least now stand by him. The more I have thought about this entry today, the sadder it feels, you show the depth of his caring, and this moment feels more like he had hoped it wouldn't come to this, that he hoped he could talk her round, teach her a lesson, show her his true power by taking out her friends, and have her come back to him. Its the "we're leaving" line that really carries the emotion, all the connotations of anger and irritation often associated with it, instead taking a tone of resignation, there is nothing left for him here, she will follow him now. It almost feels like he came for her more than to prevent her accusations coming to light, which seems fittings for the characters. Another great ending here @stever82

~ Calluna


Thank you a lot for that. It is always fun to read how you take what I have done. You always see so well to what is in my mind that it makes me happy. I feel that I really did put the meaning I meant in the story.

Now they're a happily married couple I guess. Ha ha


well a couple not sure about happy.

he gave her a shot. a chance, a way out. more than once. she didn't take it.

You do have a talent for stories.


Thank you for reading it.


I did read it
A little dark. And most of us do not have a concept of eternity let alone an understanding

Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by stever82 from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.

If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP.
Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.

To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.

Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.

Very good story, @ stever82, I liked the turn that you gave to the story, because in the end the hunter (Melinda) became the prey. Good luck in the contest.

Muy buena narración, @stever82, me gustó el giro que dió a la historia, ya que al final el cazador (Melinda) se convirtió en la presa. Suerte en el concurso.

Good post, keep it up...

Nice Story 👍 stever82

Posted using Partiko Android


Thank you

You just planted 0.10 tree(s)!

Thanks to @stever82

We have planted already
7594.88 trees
out of 1,000,000

Let's save and restore Abongphen Highland Forest
in Cameroonian village Kedjom-Keku!
Plant trees with @treeplanter and get paid for it!
My Steem Power = 26088.04
Thanks a lot!
@martin.mikes coordinator of @kedjom-keku

Hi @stever82!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 3.139 which ranks you at #9446 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has improved 94 places in the last three days (old rank 9540).

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 182 contributions, your post is ranked at #108.

Evaluation of your UA score:
  • You're on the right track, try to gather more followers.
  • The readers appreciate your great work!
  • Try to improve on your user engagement! The more interesting interaction in the comments of your post, the better!

Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server