The missunderstanding
Fuente:https://pixabay.com/es/photos/chocolate-caliente-cacao-caf%C3%A9-1103774/
Here is my entry for Finish The Story Contest - Week #48!
You can find the contest at:
https://steemit.com/finishthestory/@bananafish/finish-the-story-contest-week-48
"I'm Matt"
"I'm John Martin, but you can call me John"
Matt drew another forced smile.
Suddenly the bell at the door rang and his eyes quickly ran in that direction. Matt twisted his lips at not seeing what he expected.
"I see you're very anxious. I assume you're waiting for a girl?"
Matt decided to spend his time talking to the old man.
"It's really a blind date. We met through a chat. So we have no idea of our appearance. Only that we’d see each other here"
"I'll tell her: I'm Matt and she should answer: I'm Sarah"
The old man scratched his head
"Oh, god! In my time, things weren't so complicated"
Matt hesitated for a moment but decided to ask the old man for a favor. He got up from the chair and let his words go too fast
"I need to go to the bathroom. In case my date appears, could you do me the favor and let her know that I'm back in a moment? Thank you."
Matt ran away as a soul haunted by the devil
The old man was going to respond but it was too late. Matt was gone.
Suddenly a girl came in and the old man, not knowing what to do, got up and said
"I'm here for Matt, young lady"
"Good for you sir", said the girl. Other people from a distant table greeted her and left the old man alone.
"Oh! How rude is the youth of today," cried the old man as he wiped his forehead with his handkerchief and sat down again.
He took a sip of his coffee and in that instant, another girl entered the cafe.
In the rush, he drowned with coffee and started coughing loudly. She went to the old man and made a Heimlich maneuver
"Wait!" The old man shouted
"Hold on, sir. I know what I'm doing"
She shook the poor old man like a sack of potatoes until he spat his teeth. The girl ran in search of the old man's teeth
"Don’t worry, sir. The same thing always happens to my granny"
When finally the poor old man could return to his composure, fixing his shirt that had come out of his pants and cleaning his teeth, he said
"I'm Matt"
"WHAT!?" the girl shouted.
"I think there is a misunderstanding," he said
"I won't be the victim of another catfish again. My mother had already warned me, there are too many crazy people in this city"
And with that last sentence, she left the premises.
All the people looked badly at the poor old man, shaking their head
The waitress together with the owner of the place approached
"I'm sorry, but management does not accept people like you. You'd better go somewhere else"
As much as he claimed, he ended up being thrown out of the place.
Finally, Matt arrived, having had a bad experience with the toilet. He found the waitress cleaning the coffee splattered on the table.
"Something happened?"
"An altercation with an old abuser, posing as someone else, was surely a sadist"
"He gave me a bad impression" answered Matt
Sitting back and waiting for someone who wouldn't arrive.
Bwahaha brilliant!
At this point, I suspected that Sarah was a fake identity of the poor the old man. Your development, though, took another funny direction I would see well in one of those entertaining comedy series. Hope you will write with us again, keep it up!
I wanted to make a story that would make people laugh. I hope you have fun
Oh this is such a wonderful ending, you focus on the people, and just take this in such an unpredictable way, playing expectations and assumptions both as a feign for the reader - suggesting the old man is a catfish, and in how characters jump to conclusions. In fact, the more I think about this ending, the more it feels like a story about assumptions.
You make Matts implied assumptions about the old man in the first half the starting point, and immediately contrast that with Johns correct assumptions about Matt waiting for a girl. You play a lot with human nature, Matt instinctively trusting the old man to comply with social convention (as Matt was forced to in the first half) and he dashes off to the bathroom, leaving John to alert his date, if she arrives in his absence.
It's when Sarah walks in that it really amps up, John taken by surprise (another hint at how people assume things about each other based on limited information) splutters, Sarah mistakes it for chocking, and based on her assumption, attempts to save his life. You got me thinking about how even the best of intentions, when based on an incorrect assumption, can do more harm than good.
Then poor John, he just doesn't get the words out, and blurts out "i'm Matt" instead, and then the instant reaction, and the judgement of those in the cafe turned against him for a single mis-spoken moment - very powerful.
You do an amazingly job of taking an opening that could go many ways, and bring it into a well fitting story of how people see each other, and react to each other. I really appreciate how simple your story seems at first, but after a little reflection, speaks so much about consideration, and empathy. Everyone is this story puts on each other, exceptions and assumptions, and had anyone stopped a moment, and instead of projecting what they know (like her granny having nearly choked) take the time to understand whats really going on. A very powerful way to wrap this one up <3
Thank you dear for reading my story
This is in the mode of classic farce--something like The Importance of Being Ernest. You carry it off well. A general state of confusion prevails...everyone looks foolish.
An unexpected direction for the story. Bravo!
Thank you. I hope this story has drawn a smile on your face.
Yes, it has.
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