Even The Clouds Smile (A Finish The Story Entry)
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Opening by @f3nix
The bedroom was a sealed Fort Knox. An old black fan stood in a corner: the last bulwark of defence against the terrible heat of that day of August. The heat from its engine was exceeding by far the supposed cool that it should have been producing from the movement of the scorching air.
"... I’m going down to the store to help mum."
"Recently, the young dandy is getting his ass busy."
"You could do something too, every now and then," Santiago thought, managing to keep his mouth with a bridle at the very last moment.
"There is an article on the International on how bad news are preferred to positive ones and their effects on society," he chose instead to answer.
But the 15:00 news were now efficiently irrigating the paternal synapses and absorbing his whole focus.
"After 3 months from their first appearance, the research on cumuloids continues by the international expert pool led by Dr. Venters. All the analyses confirm that their molecular composition is not different from that of any other type of cloud: minute particles of condensed water and / or ice crystals. In the meantime, yesterday, the United Nations Security Council unanimously approved the resolution requesting the member states of... "
"Chemtrails were not enough, eh Tiago?"
"I do not know, I try not to look at them. Those faces in the sky might also be harmless but they frighten me," Santiago cut short.
The quasi-dialogue would have certainly not produced anything positive in its prolonging, thought the twelve year old son. On board of his Zanella Motoneta, Santiago darted away from home, heading for the beach.
Down there, among the umbrellas reserved for the guests of the Los Reyes hotel, there were Vicky's deep black eyes waiting for him. Maybe today they could have been alone, maybe there between the waves or under the umbrella, he would have finally told her words that, for long days, had been banging in his head like the ocean’s backwash.
He still thought of those enigmatic clouds, the cumuloids, whose immense faces had formed and flaked in the skies for months now. With no exception, their eyes were covered and they displayed a subtle smile, similar to that of those Greek statues he saw in one of the rare occasions he opened his school books.
"What an idiot." Two rosy dawns light up on Vicky's cheeks to contradict the apparently cynical exclamation.
In front of her, two hearts drawn with a wooden stick on the sand of the shore with their initials inside. Tiago floundering.
A sharp cry pierces the silence. Dazed looks of the two twelve-year-olds jumping first on Vicky's younger sister, then, through the kid’s expression of terror, bouncing on the celestial vault behind them.
A cumuloid, alone, stands out clearly in a fake turquoise sky like the wing of a theatre stage. There is no trace of a kouros smile on the gargantuan cloud, which now seems about to drift on the sea shore. The ivory jaws widens deformed, vomiting a myriad of other faces. Distorted mutations depart ferociously from the obscene atmospheric funnel just to pierce back the smooth nimbus’ face, devouring its ephemeral flesh.
Time slows down around Tiago and Vicky, holding hands together without even realizing it.
My Ending
“Vicky,”
A honeyed voice whispered in her ear, soft feminine treacle dripping with each word.
“Vicky, you need to let go”
She started, looking around. Tiago, by her side, stood transfixed, staring in terror at the expulsion of faces, apparently unaware of the soft voice. Vicky glanced around; her younger sister, up by the dunes, gazed up at the clouds. Her small face, equally contorted with fear, did not start at the sound.
“Vicky, let go of his hand”
The voice had a slightly more commanding tone. The faces swarmed, baring wisps of jagged teeth, as the multitude of insubstantial lips moved with each word.
The wind picked up, roaring as it ripped through their thin summer clothes. Yet the suspended cloud faces did not catch in it’s current.
“Vicky!”
The voice was growing to a furious shout, drifting into the howl of the wind.
“LET GO”
She gripped Tiago’s hand as tight as she could, fear etching lines on her young face. He remained motionless, a statue himself, in that seemingly eternal moment.
Pain burnt deep into Vicky’s palm, weakness shooting through the bones as she struggled to keep her grip.
“Tiago” She called out desperately.
He didn’t turn, his glazed eyes fixed in horror, didn’t twitch.
“VICKY”
The faces continued to spew forth, filling the sky, their thundering voices resonating through the air.
“LET GO, NOW”
“Please Tiago, don’t let go” she whispered, her pale lips hardly moving as the words escaped them.
He didn’t react, he stayed frozen to the spot, his hand clasping hers.
The pain intensified, the searing sensation shot through her fingers, her palm. Her wrist throbbed as the pain engulfed her arm.
“YOU HAVE TO LET GO”
Unwitting tears slipped down her cheeks, as defiantly, she fought to hold on.
The voice softened again, whispering gently to her once more.
“Vicky, please, please you have to let go, you have to come back”
Not a single crack of surreal turquoise was visible through the distorted cumuloids pouring from the mouth of the first. The pain shooting through Vicky’s arm, eroding her bones, finally overtook her.
Reluctantly, she relinquished her grip.
Santiago found himself stood alone on the beach, the azure sky drifted lazily above. Cold gripped his empty hand. The tide had crept up the beach, lapping the edge of the hand-drawn heart.
Frantically, he looked around;
“Vicky?!”
No footprints led from the spot she had stood. The stick she had held had been dropped on the soft sand.
Tiago stood alone, a single huge face of twisting cloud hung in a darkened sky. A peaceful smile filled a wispy, fading face.
The foaming water line was rising quickly, enveloping the spot she had stood, washing away every trace of the moment.
The words he had rehearsed for weeks, evaporated from the tip of his tongue. He fell to the sand, the water reaching out as he stared at the hand that had let her go.
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A slightly less complex starting this time, I still managed to get totally lost and confused in it! It is clearly just me! Jeez I look forward to the day when they can put computer chips in your brain and make it work even better. Ahhh the future, where they can cure anything. We can hope eh!
This is my entry to Finish The Story which this week is hosted by @marcoriccardi over on @bananafish - a great place for contests!
Thank you for stopping by, I understand that a few of you are only here to appease the mighty god of the @bananafish - who I sincerely hope is not a vengeful god, as I am asking you to ignore his wishes, and not feel like you have to comment, having read it is more than enough - (obviously if you want to that is awesome but yeah, don't feel like you have to leave a compulsory comment) so head over to the post, check out the other entries, and get working on your own!
Photo Credit which is another from from Pixabay user Free-Photos - with over 9,000 brilliant images to chose from, it is no surprise I have found another!
Vickyyyyyyy!!! She should have never left the grip... and now we know that those bloody cumuloids are not so entirely innocent. Probably this is the first of a number of other episodes.. You know, I crafted the story with an essential style but the trick is in how to end it .. you managed to be original and your anaphoric rythm in the scene was brilliant.
Interesting. Like virtual reality or a Vulcan mind meld across the Universe.
ooo yeah, that could also work! I didn't get to the crux with the word count, so just tied it off. I probably should have included more to make it clearer, damn it! I swear one of these days lol
Obviously, I AM a vengeful-deuteronomic-sinners-whipping God. However, just for now, my true nature cannot still be revealed.
sinner-whipping
now let's not be making promises we can't keep lol
I could not tell you the exact reason, perhaps because of the pressing rhythm of ever increasing urgency in the calls, combined with the pain radiating from the fingers to the hand, and from there to Vicky's arm, but reading this story completely entwined me in a sense of uncomfortable (but in a good way, I like to get out of my comfort zone!), and I say to myself, pending in the rarefied atmosphere like Tiago, that you have made a magic here. It will be very difficult to deal with a final of this caliber.
You manage to conceal your confusion well...teach me that trick :)
It was a moving scene. For me, the emotional crescendo was here
After that it was resolution, sad but inevitable.
Fast paced action, drew me along. Great job.
The art of blagging, one of the few things they actually teach at high school ;) I tried to pick up on the emotional stuff, and glossed over the science and Grecian references, then dropped a line in to pick up on the sister, but didn't really do much with that bit either.
Thank you :)
Not like the high school I went to...
That moment when he realizes he's lost her and he sees the tide washing away every trace of her really hit me in the feels. Great moment and imagery!
Thank you so much. I always think these things only get me with a feels punch lol
I was expecting a cosmic talent show and found myself in cosmic vacuum of a what if moment and of confusion of being there at one moment and gone another.
The emotional rollercoaster though
Thank you! I was very tempted, but I had a deep space talent show for the last round of Electric Dreams, otherwise I might well have gone down that route! In case you are interested, the latest round of Electric Dreams is out ;)
Nicely done! I like how you chose to invest most of the story, hammering on the same nail of pain and surrender. The tension built up and the result was powerful and moving.
Where did Vicky go? I wouldn't want to be looking at the hand that let her go either. I don't know if this was a happy or a sad story. lol