The Road Home: Finish the Story Contest #44
This is an entry into #finishthestory contest, run by @bananafish. Finish the Story is a collaborative story-writing exercise that takes place just about every week. This week the first part, The Story of Mr. Renhe Ren, was written by @marcoriccardi. The second half, The Road Home, represents my effort to pick up the story where @marcoriccardi left off. He gave us a little gem, the sort of tale that might be passed from the elders of a village to the young. @marcoriccardi invites each of us to find a bit of wisdom within ourselves and "finish the story." This one had such a clear message that it was easy for me to keep in the 500 word limit. Here goes, the blended effort of @marcoriccardi and @agmoore.
It is said that Mr. Renhe Ren, of Daochu village, in the province of Quan Shijie, in his forty-second year of life, was seized by a great rage because of his long-standing enemy, who was constantly working to hinder and ruin any of his activities and projects. Faced with the umpteenth abuse, Mr. Renhe Ren felt that his harmony and self-control were going to be lost. He was no longer able to feel the noble sentiments worthy of a superior man.
Then he remembered the words of the wise man. "Sit down along the river bank and wait, sooner or later you will see the corpse of your enemy pass". So, he left the village of Daochu and went down to the river. He found a willow with a wide foliage that bent gently over the water, and sat down in his shadow, determined to wait until the wisdom of the ancestors had brought a solution to his problem.
He awaited for days and nights, meditating. Sun, rain, wind and fog alternated tormenting him, but neither the heat, nor the cold, nor the humidity, nor the insects distracted him from his waiting. Time passed, until one day in late autumn, the stream swollen for the rains brought a corpse to its feet, face down. Mr. Renhe Ren shook himself from his meditation and leaned towards the muddy water, his heart finally calm.
Great was his surprise when he saw…
My Ending:
The Road Home
Renhe Ren realized that the body in the river was unmistakably that of his enemy, Liu Yuan. The telltale 
tattoo was visible on the nape of his neck. And there was the trademark cauliflower ear, legacy of Liu's ferocious street battles. That ear was now host to a community of mitten crabs. These feasted hungrily on the dead man's flesh.
The prophesy was fulfilled, Renhe's prayer's answered, and the enemy delivered. Leadership of the local crime syndicate was now firmly determined: Renhe would rule. In his moment of triumph, he knelt down so he could turn the cadaver and look upon the face of his defeated enemy. Liu's sightless eyes reflected malice, an expression that had no doubt been captured at the instant of death. A snarl frozen on his lips had likely been intended for whomever it was that struck the fatal blow.
The stench of death rose from Liu's corpse, and with it a gripping, heart-chilling terror. Renhe realized that, just as a sneer froze on Liu's lips, so too did hatred in his heart. It was a hatred they had shared, and it would forever be inscribed in the Book of Life--along with all the vile deeds they had committed together.
Renhe wept. He understood that the possibility of reconciliation, of righting wrongs with Liu, was gone. All those prayers he had said in order to bring Liu to him, now yielded a different harvest--a moment of enlightenment. He, Renhe, would one day enter the realm of the dead and worms would feed upon his body as they now fed on Liu. And when that happened, the Book Book of Life would be closed forever and his eternal destiny fixed.
Was there time yet to write a new chapter, to seek redemption? Renhe resolved to forgive Liu every wrong and to ask for his forgiveness. He would adopt Liu's children, and see to their education. He would shelter Liu's widow into her old age. And he would build a shrine to honor Liu's memory. Each year he would visit the shrine and offer tribute.
Renhe bent down and attempted to lift Liu's body. It had absorbed water and was covered with debris, but he managed to balance the corpse on his shoulders. Then began the long trek home. Pain throbbed in his limbs from the strain of carrying his enemy's cadaver. With every labored step it seemed the body grew heavier, and yet the heavier it grew the lighter seemed the burden on Renhe's soul.
Loved this beautiful tale of Ren turning over a new leaf! Your clever inclusion of Liu's 'power' tattoo worked perfectly on two levels. To the deceased street fighter, it likely symbolized his strength and superiority against his opponents. But through your story, the tattoo could also be taken as a sign to Ren that he had the power to change his life, to redeem his soul despite past transgressions.
The respect that you had Ren show his former enemy, to struggle through carrying Yuan's corpse back after vowing to care for his family, was a perfect way to show his resolve in keeping to his resolutions.
Thank you! I'm glad you got the power tattoo... a little piece I inserted to amuse myself, but felt no one would bother to check out. Just like, the two pictures--first one drab, second one full of life and hope. It amuses me to do stuff that may mean nothing to anyone besides me :)
Thanks for your kind comment. Redemption and growth were the only places I personally could take such a thoughtful beginning.
I loved the wish for redemption and the final contrast between material heaviness and spiritual lightness. It was a pleasurable and meaningful tale. Congrats!
I'm so glad you see it as I intended it. The sense of balance and redemption was what I felt after I read Marco's 'beginning'.
You make this exercise look easy. Good through the very end. :-)
Thank you!
You perfectly capture that feeling of a story, told by village elders. The ending, carrying the body of the man who was once his enemy home is just so perfect, and carries such a wealth of metaphor, it caps the tone so very well. You weave in more than one moral here, which really adds to that.
The realism of street crime brings a far more relatable touch to this, and dropping in that Mr Renhe Ren, a man who strives for the noble sentiments of a superior man, and in a way, as the aspiring crime boss, was just a beautiful touch in how people see themselves. Then the tattoo, in a way representative of what his enemy had that he strives to gain ties into that, being the first thing he notices about the corpse adds to the feeling he had been blinkered by his desire for power.
Then seeing his enemy dead, with the hate in his eyes, the snarl upon his lips, and the impact that has. The life he chases has the same fate, and the hate has already claimed his heart. There is so much in just that about the decimation hate carried and nurtured has. The realisation of the bond between them, and the similarities, creates a perfect hitting point, and musing of ways to try and gain forgiveness build this burden of responsibility, he doesn't know if he can, or how he can, but he is determined to try. And then the ending, just wonderful! Like a true fable, this has a message to be taken on a surface read, or half hearted listen to elders, but equally had a lot that can be gained on reflection <3
Thank you for that thoughtful comment, Calluna. This "ending" was easy for me to visualize (of course, finding the words to express the sentiment not so easy). I've reached a certain age where reflection is not only natural but inevitable. I don't know about a Book of Life, but there is a record of my misdeeds and omissions in my own head. When I try to sleep at night, it's not lost opportunity that keeps me awake--it's those misdeeds and omissions that I can never change. All of those weigh on me sometimes like Liu's corpse. So, when I read Marco's beginning, the end followed naturally.
This is an edifying story of an apparent victory, which precedes a substantial victory, ie that which leads to an improvement of oneself. I also read the ending of @stever82 with the same dynamic, that is Mr. Renhe Ren that takes the place of his deceased enemy to "repay the debt" (I did not check which of the two posted first and I'm not here to allude anything I like them both). This trope somehow brings to mind some customs of the Native American tribes, in which the killer had to take the place left vacant by his victim in society. it is a very interesting theme, a "penalty" that can also be seen as a reward.
I believe mine posted a day earlier, but the development of redemption through sacrifice is a natural extension of your prompt, I think. And it is a reward, a release from being unaware. Once the moment of enlightenment strikes, Renhe is free.
Thanks for your comment. I haven't read @stever82's yet, but now I'm curious.
PS (edit)
If memory serves me right, the only story up when I posted was @Amirani's
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Great details to pull the reader into the story. Enjoy the redemption message. The circle is completed.
Thank you, @cyemela. When I read this story, there was only one way it could go. I think @marcoriccardi served up a nice treat this week. Can't wait to read yours!
To continue this name trend with @amirani being an existential spirituality, @felt.buzz an existential nightmare, @wakeupkitty on perverted faith, then yers is on reconciliation. But this isn’t the contemporary notion of such, indeed yer showing very much the heroic/classical age of Japanese cultures and how they shared with the rest of the World the tribes and gens lifestyle. Consider nowadays how Mr Renshi Ren would probably reimburse and gift his rival’s family instead of acquisitionong his rival’s gen into his gen. Meanwhile respecting the gen his rival’s wife came and not subordinating her to abandon the gen despite being housed outside her gen. (Suggesting a still pro-Matriachal culture despite a Partriach on top and eventually replacing the Matriachal culture.) But these are all cultural expectations he has to live out despite being honorable in doing so in his culture’s expectation. In the end, he does more than the expectations to live out the reconciliation that shamed him of his pride and anger. A truly kindred spirit... like to see yer comments under my ending~
Got to come back to vote later--but I agree, the man behaves honorably, within the context of his culture. I am a feminist, but I understand that many people offend without meaning to. Gentle education and example is the best way forward in my opinion. I try never to take good intentions and turn them into insult just because there is a communication gap.
Thank you for your comments, @theironfelix.
Well context and conditions, conditions of his culture promote what behaviours he ought to follow (most usually to reproduce his class as both Patriach and member of the ruling class if where’s at has already developed class heirachies, but that’s the running assumption we take for granted when we look at works of art that clearly aren’t Capitalist nor wholly Partrachal and are still of the gens-n-tribe models). Of course, it was probably obvious to yah that I am a Marxist Feminist (because the two need and reinforce each other quite well) and less obviously do I have sympathies to Stoicism and want to understand how Psychoanalysis can be effectively used. To me, that method is fine in pre-Revolutionary times; but yah’ve to be careful of misogynysts and reactionaries for they will organize and try to do whatever it takes to flush yah out even when yer pacifistic. (Especially when the ruling classes have more to benefit supporting an undercurrent of Partriachy then they do to actually end Misogyny and all those systematic hatreds that stemmed off from Misogyny). But of course, with real-life, it certainly is easier to know when someone has just been told cultural myths and start their education to help make real change. Because they are those that simply don’t really get to benefit from the system at the end of the day. But there are some who cannot be educated from mysogyny (and racism and the intersections of such), for they are those that stand to benefit with continued oppression of womens, POC, non-comforming people that go beyond the eurocolonial gender systemme, disabled peoples and the intersections/overlap as-such. But I know yah know this already and I know how dangerous being a feminist is in general when yer trying to overcome Partriachy in an area, I only mean to say this: stay safe and protect yerself if yah must.
Thank you for your concern! My battles are mostly over, although if called to a fight I'm ready :)
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This is the first story I read where Mr Ren gets exactly what he was waiting for, what he went to the river for, and I love it! I think it is also great how this slowly transforms into what he actually needs, how by tasting the fruits of his desires accomplished he learns of the true meaning (and toll) of being victorius against one's "enemies".
Thanks for a great tale of atonement!
Thank you, @amirani. As I explained before, I saw (imagined) the end before I wrote it. But I think reading yours helped to clarify my thoughts and also gave me the confidence to go forward. Yours was the first, and I see it as sort of the seed from which so many of the others sprang. Laurels to you.