Sperm Bank Receptionist
This is my decidedly unromantic contribution to @Jayna's #fiftywords microfiction challenge for this week. This week's prompt is "bank".
I think its extremely unromantic tone has come about because of the
relentless discussion of the royal wedding. Constantly discussed on TV, on and on and on, is every facet of this wedding between two people who admittedly seem very nice but who are having their wedding security paid for by the British taxpayer for no reason other than one day, centuries ago, a bunch of people decided they would set themselves up to live in palaces, wear crowns, be subsidised by plebs who must curtsy and bow and say "your highness" and fuck that, what a stupid idea, we are better than that and they do not require our deference.
Ahem.
I'd taken this job to rob the bank. I scoped, working the reception desk, signing men in and directing them into the private rooms.
He took four months to show up. I knew as soon as he came in he was the one. He smiled.
I prepared the turkey baster.
Public domain pic from Clkr and divider from Open Clipart
You're not interested in the royal/parasite wedding now but wait until the scandals start and she tries to fuck off with a bag full of loot. Even the depraved minds who write soap operas couldn't match this debacle.
Megan is the ultimate star fucker and she just hit the jackpot. Every time I see her now I'll think of her doing something kinky to Harry with a turkey baster to get his sperm and guarantee a jackpot win/settlement.
Ew, @khufu, gross! 😁
I don't know anything about her so I don't know if she's just after his loot or not. I dunno, she seems nice enough, he seems nice enough. But what creeps me out is that yeah, when I was 11 and Harry's mum was getting married I was totally into it. But now I'm an adult, and I am kinda quite into humanity having as little oppression as possible, I find it really creepy how so many adults, grown up people, are just into it.
And I think I kinda get it, maybe - all this kings and queens and princesses and castle stuff is archetypal. On that level those things are real and maybe even important if you follow Carl Jung's line (which I do).
But what's creepy is when in their desire to play around in archetypes people are willing to cheer and emotionally invest themselves in a powerful family that by its existence oppresses them (even if they are largely hamstrung these days).
Lucky there's some footy on tonight, right? :)
(Although that has its own major problems, I am much more interested in watching people kick an oval ball around than watching the "royal" wedding :)
Yeah I don't get the psychology of pandering to royals, it all seems quite bizarre to me.
My Mrs just flicked the TV onto the station where the wedding is on & it was like a carnival with a snake oil salesman for a preacher up on stage. It was hilarious.
I don't know what the fuck he was on about but Willy was sitting there with a big grin on his face and everyone looked like they were wondering WTF was going on.
Maybe Willy had Harry punked ?
This is wonderful. And hilarious. What a great use of the word "bank!" Thanks for this delightful story, @sue-stevenson.
I have to admit the royal wedding is intriguing to me. There's that little girl in me who still loves princesses and the fantasy world of what it must be like to live in a palace and have people bow down to you. I will never forget Princess Diana's wedding. I was so totally captivated by everything about her, and am still crushed by how it all went down.
Haha, thank you. I knew when I was looking at dictionary definitions of 'bank' when I hit on the way I wanted to go. Loving this initiative :)
I love where inspiration can come from! For me it is sometimes the word, sometimes a picture I find on Pixabay or Unsplash, and sometimes looking up the word in dictionary.com or thesaurus.com.
Lol. This is great, Sue! Creepy, but hilarious. Not what I imagined robbing a bank to become.
Haha, thanks, Anike.