The Popular Depression is a book I wrote in my first year of college.

It was inspired by a cigarette pack on a coffee table that I noticed at a house party.

My eyes were drawn to the Health Canada warning on the box of cigarettes.

I think the statistic about tobacco-related deaths was supposed to be the scary one. But, for some reason, I was more alarmed by the fact more people died by killing themselves than by getting into car accidents.

I never did anything with the book I wrote. Looking back, some of the amateurish writing makes me cringe. But, the concept behind The Popular Depression is an important theme for us to think about.

Here is the tenth chapter from The Popular Depression.

Chapter Ten

The Toyota Tacoma pulls up into the driveway of the Hollingsworth residence. The simple task of picking up Liberty was one that Ethan missed immensely.

The early stages of this Saturday evening are warm with little wind.

Just as Ethan gets out of the car to go and ring the doorbell, he sees Liberty open the front door and walk outside. He gets back in the truck and waits for her to walk down the driveway.

“Hey,” Ethan says when Liberty gets in the passenger side of the Tacoma.

“Hey,” Liberty replies as she does up her seatbelt.

A few days earlier, Ethan invited Liberty to come with him to watch the CCH girls senior varsity volleyball team play the W.R. Myers Rebels from Taber.

The two walk into the gymnasium hand-in-hand. Daniel Beddingfield's Gotta Get Through This loudly pumps through the gymnasium speakers as the girls teams warm-up for the big game.

The bleachers are almost completely full, but Ethan spots Jared and TJ on the top left-hand edge of the bleachers.

“Ethan! Up here man,” TJ yells as he motions with his hand for the two to come join Jared and himself.

Ethan and Liberty make their way up the bleachers and sit beside TJ and Jared.

Seating arrangement: Liberty sits on the far left, Ethan middle left, Jared middle right, TJ far right.

Quick “hellos” are exchanged between the four, and soon enough the referee blows his whistle indicating the beginning of play.

“Damn I can’t get over how hot these girls are. Thank the lord for spandex,” TJ says to Jared.

“Dude, I’m pretty sure I’ve banged every chick on the floor. Except for that swamp-donkey-right-side on our team, I definitely did not bang her,” Jared replies.

Ethan glances over at Liberty. She is starring intently at the volleyball court, pretending she can't hear the conversation. Ethan can tell that she is uncomfortable and bothered by it.

The first game ends with Myers winning 25-20. Though the score is somewhat close, CCH never really had an opportunity to win the game. Fans seem disappointed with their girls' performance.

“Do you want to go grab slurpees or something?” Ethan asks Liberty as the two girl’s teams take rests.

Liberty nods.

“Save our seats,” Ethan says to Jared and TJ.

TJ nods: OK. Jared shakes his head: no.

“Why do you like hanging out with those guys,” Liberty asks once she and Ethan get into Ethan’s truck. “I mean, their jokes are disgusting and not even funny. They act like they are God’s gift to women, when in actuality I doubt that any semi-intelligent girl would ever even consider dating such losers.”

Ethan considers how to respond.

Liberty stares at him.

“I dunno,” Ethan starts. “TJ is different. When he’s not around Jared he’s actually a pretty cool guy.”

“As for Jared,” Ethan continues. “Coach Fox has always encouraged camaraderie within our team, and I guess I just think it’s important to get along with teammates off the court so that we will gel on the court.”

After a pause, Liberty responds, “Well that’s still not an excuse for the way Jared and TJ act.”

“You better not turn out like those guys, you hear me Ethan?” Liberty jokingly scolds as she squeezes his cheek with her thumb and index finger.

“OK, but only if you promise not to turn out like the right-side from CCH. I think she had a unibrow,” Ethan replies, as he holds Liberty’s hand that had just been squeezing his cheek.

“If you ask me, even she is out of Jared Winston’s league,” Liberty concludes.

Liberty and Ethan arrive back at the gym and notice that the score is 24-16 for Myers. A tall blonde girl from Myers, who Ethan recognizes from basketball tournaments, goes back to serve for the win. The float-serve seems as though it is going to go into the net; however, it catches the top of the tape and bobbles over onto the CCH side. The libero is the only one to react to the fluke serve, but she is not quick enough and the ball touches the floor for an ace. Two games to none for Myers. One more victory and the night is history.

Ethan and Liberty make their way back up to the top of the bleachers to reclaim their spots. Once at the top they are greeted by Jared.

“It’s about time Tate, I almost gave up your spot to some hotties who were eyeing me down.”

Liberty rolls her eyes. A gag reflex also kicks in.

“You’re such a stud Winston,” Ethan says sarcastically.

“Don’t you forget it, son,” Jared replies.

The mood of the CCH fan-base has gone from disappointment to outright hopelessness.

“Well, doesn’t look like we’re gonna be able to drink for celebration purposes, so how about we drink our problems away?” Jared suggests as he pulls a flask of rye out of his coat pocket.

Liberty looks at Ethan curiously, awaiting a response.

“Nah, I don’t really feel like drinking tonight,” Ethan says.

Jared rolls his eyes.

“Figures, Tate. Why do you always have to be such a pussy?” Jared asks.

Ethan is silent and debates how to reply.

Liberty steps in.

“You’re so cool Jared… sneaking booze into a volleyball game, but I could’ve sworn that we aren’t in seventh grade anymore.”

The hostile mockery catches Jared off-guard.

Ethan looks over at his girlfriend, impressed.

Liberty continues to glare at Jared, waiting for a response.

“Are you kidding me? Hey TJ, are you seeing this? Tate is such a little bitch that his girl has to stick up for him.”

TJ chooses not to chime in.

“Listen princess, don’t act like you’re cool… my guess is that you’ve never even tasted alcohol,” Jared says, turning to Liberty. “Why don’t you go memorize a bible verse?”

As far as Ethan is concerned, Jared just crossed the line.

“Apologize to her right now,” Ethan demands as he grabs a hold of Jared’s shirt.

Most of the people in the bleachers are looking up in the direction of the confrontation.

“Stop it guys, just calm the fuck down,” TJ says.

“Apologize or what?” Jared asks Ethan. “Quit trying to act like a hero, you’re only doing this so that you can impress Liberty. Maybe that way she’ll actually sleep with you again.”

Immediately after the words come out of Jared’s mouth, a powerful silence–more powerful than any expression or phrase–takes over. Ethan hears his heart pound. His stomach clenches up and he feels an urge to vomit. His whole body becomes faint, and his head needs oxygen. This is the turning point. He knows that this could change everything. Jared sits beside Ethan with a hauntingly straight face. Ethan slowly releases his grip on Jared’s shirt. His hands are numb. He imagines what Liberty’s face looks like. He can’t look back at her. He tries to think of something to say, but there are no words that can fix what has been broken. Finally Ethan forces himself to turn in the other direction and face Liberty. As he does, his suspicions are confirmed. A look of utter shock is written on Liberty’s face. Her eyes are slightly watering, and she looks at Ethan with a pained disappointment.

“Lib…” is the only word Ethan can force out.

She remains silent, starring at him with a sadness that desecrates the soul.

“I should go,” Liberty whispers, almost silently.

She stands suddenly, walks quickly down the bleachers and then hurries out of the gym.

Ethan sits still. There is no feeling in his body and he wonders if he is conscious. He asks himself how this could happen. He is still motionless. He feels faint. The room is suddenly very hot, yet he is cold from the sweat leaking from his skin. The whistle blows and the third game begins. Fans sitting in close vicinity to Ethan whisper as they try to figure out what is going on.

Jared speaks up.

“Listen Ethan, don’t worry abo—”

Ethan turns to face Jared with a look that speaks volumes. It is a look that shows no mercy. It is a look of complete outrage.

Jared prepares to get punched.

With one hand Ethan grabs the front of Jared’s shirt and pulls him in close.

“Fuck you.”

The words that rarely exit Ethan’s mouth are loud and powerful. Jared gulps as Ethan’s face looks terrifying.

Ethan releases Jared. Ethan’s eyes don’t blink as he continues to stare at his fellow basketball player.

Finally Ethan looks away, and runs down the bleachers in hopes of catching Liberty. He can feel everyone’s eyes on him as he makes his way out of the gym door. Once out, Ethan takes a sharp left, exits the school, and finds himself in the parking lot. No sight of Liberty. Ethan doesn’t know what he will say even if he does find her. What can he say? His girlfriend just found out that he told some guy on his basketball team the one thing that was most important to her. The one thing that nobody was supposed to find out about. Worst of all, she found out about it from Jared Winston… not Ethan Tate.

Liberty is not in the parking lot.

“Liberty!” Ethan calls out.

Nothing.

“Liberty!” Ethan calls out again.

In the stillness of the night, Ethan hears something. He looks across the open courtyard of the neighbouring high school. Leaning against a tree sits Liberty, crying. Ethan runs over.

“Liberty, I’m so sor—”

“Leave me alone Ethan, just go away,” Liberty says quietly as Ethan approaches. “You don’t want to hear what I have to say to you.”

A long silence occurs while Ethan thinks of something to say to calm Liberty down.

Liberty doesn’t give him a chance.

“Were you ever going to tell me that you told Jared and TJ about us?” Liberty asks. “All those things you said to me that night, was that just because you thought it was what I wanted to hear?"

Another period of silence occurs, this time slightly shorter.

"I’m sorry for telling Jared and TJ about what happened. The two have been on my case ever since school began, asking me if I had slept with you yet. At first I tried to tell them that it was none of their business, but they kept prying. After the night we were together, they realized something was suspicious when you didn't show up for school. I tried my best to keep it a secret, but they got it out of me," Ethan says.

"I’m sorry. I screwed up big time, and I just hope that this doesn’t ruin the greatest relationship I’ve ever had in my life.”

Ethan’s eyes have become moist with tears. One glides down his cheek.

Liberty stares at him with a straight face. After an extended period of time in which Ethan waits patiently, Liberty responds.

"They pried it out of you, huh?" Liberty asks, accusingly. "Did Jared and TJ tie you down and interrogate you until you you had absolutely no option but to tell them? I find that hard to believe."

Liberty goes on.

“And what about the condom, Ethan? It’s pretty convenient that you had a Trojan waiting on the table beside your bed. It almost seems a little too coincidental to think you just happened to buy a condom the same day that your mom and sister left and you knew your girlfriend would be coming over. You planned it all along Ethan. You knew that you were going to get me to sleep with you on that night before I even came over.”

Liberty sits silently. She stares at the grass and grazes her fingers over the top of the blades. Ethan stands above her with his hands in his pockets.

“I need to go phone my dad to come pick me up,” Liberty says somberly.

Liberty walks past him, her head down, eyes flooded. The wind picks up.

“I didn’t rape you, Liberty,” Ethan says while Liberty stops, about ten feet behind him.

The phrase is one that is unexpected.

“What?” Liberty asks, shocked.

“I said I didn’t rape you,” Ethan repeats, slightly louder. “You keep saying that I somehow forced you to have sex with me, but I remember you wanting it just as badly as I did at the time.”

Liberty is taken aback. The stunned expression on her face signifies that in her opinion, Ethan is way out of line. She remains silent however, and waits for him to conclude his point.

Ethan continues.

“I wanted to talk to you face-to-face… but you avoided me for two weeks. It was your choice to avoid this subject until now, not mine.”

Liberty continues to listen, arms folded, waiting patiently.

“You can choose whether or not you want to believe me about the whole TJ thing… but I’m telling the truth. All I told him is that you came over on that Friday night. He then somehow pieced together that my mom was gone, that you broke a perfect attendance record and that something must be wrong. So technically… the way Jared and TJ figured out that we lost our virginity, was the fact that you opted to miss school.”

The words are firing out of Ethan’s mouth and he doesn’t stop.

“And about the condom situation… I’m sorry that I anticipated that something might happen that evening. I’m sorry that I reduced the chances of you getting pregnant by 98 per cent. Are you even thinking rationally Liberty? If I hadn’t had that condom there, we might have made a much bigger situation on our hands.”

Ethan doesn’t stop. His voice gets even louder.

“And how do I know that you’ve been faultless throughout this whole situation. For all I know, you probably told Denise that we fucked the night after it happened.”

Liberty stares and she is silent. An eerie calmness surrounds her; she doesn’t even look phased.

The wind has picked up even more and Liberty takes a deep breath, while her hair blows behind her.

“Are you finished?”

Ethan stands still. His silence is enough of an answer for Liberty.

“You know Ethan,” Liberty begins, still calm and quiet. “I think the biggest mistake I made when I began dating you was that I truly believed that you were unique. I thought that you were an amazing guy who loved me with all of your heart. I thought that you would do anything to protect me and I believed that you would never let me feel an ounce of pain. I’ve always believed that Ethan. Until tonight.”

Ethan shivers as Liberty says this. He feels like the whole world is watching this moment being played out. He feels like he has an audience. He momentarily takes his eyes off of Liberty and looks around. He looks back at her. It’s only them.

Liberty looks down and pauses. She then looks back up at Ethan and stares him in the eyes.

“So now, I’m breaking up with you. You’ve broken my heart into too many pieces for you to ever understand. You can accuse me all you want Ethan. You can try to put the blame on me, but there’s a difference between you and I, and I truly believe that it was this difference which caused this whole mess in the first place.”

Liberty pauses for a moment. She looks down.

“You are willing to be a product of peer pressure and I am not.”

She looks back up at Ethan.

“You told Jared and TJ we were virgins… then you listened to them when they told you to lose your virginity… then you told them that you lost your virginity… then you listened to them when they told you that their lips were sealed and that the secret wouldn’t get out.”

Liberty’s voice is becoming softer, sadder.

“Whether you will admit it or not doesn’t matter: my mind it made up. We’re two very different people, and this relationship is finished.”

The tears begin to flow consistently from Ethan’s eyes.

Ethan sniffles and wipes his eyes. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. The person he cares most about is saying that she’s lost faith in him. His body becomes completely faint. The wind is the only thing that seems to hold him up.

Liberty begins to walk away, but then turns back.

“I hope you prove me wrong someday Ethan, I really do. Being caught up in this world of popularity is a trend that is only going to lead you to sadness. Somewhere inside me, I believe that you’re destined to avoid that.”

These are the last words spoken by Liberty. She walks away. Ethan watches her figure slowly fade in the darkness.

Ethan collapses and sits on the grass. He is broken. He feels like he has just been punched numerous times in the stomach; however, he highly doubts that being punched in the stomach numerous times would be this painful.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9