I began posting chapters of a book I wrote when I was 18 years old to my Steemit Blog last year.

After publishing seven chapters from the book (The Popular Depression), I got sidetracked with other projects. A couple people have asked me when I will be posting the rest...

My apologies for the delay, but here it is, the continuation of "The Popular Depression."

Preface:

I wrote a book when I was 18. It was inspired by a cigarette pack on a coffee table that I noticed at a house party.
My eyes were drawn to the Health Canada warning on the box of cigarettes.

I think the statistic about tobacco-related deaths was supposed to be the scary one. But, for some reason, I was more alarmed by the fact more people died by killing themselves than by getting into car accidents.

I never did anything with the book I wrote. Looking back, some of the amateurish writing makes me cringe. But, the concept behind The Popular Depression is an important theme for us to think about...

Chapter Eight

The rest of the weekend ended up being pretty depressing for Ethan.

He woke up alone in his bed on Saturday morning… he lied to his mother Saturday night when he told her Liberty slept on the couch… he didn't say one word to Liberty at church Sunday morning.

As his alarm buzzes and alerts him of another beginning to a week of school, Ethan debates whether or not to fake being sick. He is not quite sure if Liberty is mad at him, or how exactly she feels about losing her virginity. Even though it worries him that their relationship may be on the rocks, Liberty’s current avoidance of Ethan has him somewhat relieved that he doesn’t have to deal with the relationship talk. Even though he doesn’t really have to worry about the sex conversation just yet, Ethan knows that the chances of him running into Liberty are good… and he doesn’t know if he’s prepared to deal with that. He doesn’t know if he’s prepared with all of the questions (Why are you avoiding me? Why didn’t you talk to me at church? Why didn’t you call me Saturday? Why did you have a condom ready? Do you regret it? Do you still love me? Are we OK?). He realizes that there is probably no chance of Liberty asking him any of those questions to his face, but he knows that they will be lingering in her mind.

Ethan decides that though the encounter will be awkward, it is worse to not run into Liberty at all.

Ethan reaches over and shuts off his alarm clock, rolls out of bed, and gets ready for the day.

At school, Ethan is on the constant lookout for Liberty. He runs into Jared Winston in the morning. He invites Ethan to shoot around in the gym after school and mentions that TJ will be there. Ethan agrees to join them. Ethan goes to all of his classes but he never once sees Liberty. At lunchtime, Ethan runs into Liberty’s friend Denise, but Denise tells him that Liberty stayed home from school. Though absence from class is extremely rare behavior for Liberty, it doesn’t surprise Ethan.

The afternoon goes by slowly. Social and English class drag on and Ethan has trouble concentrating. After the final bell rings, Ethan makes his way to the gym.

Meanwhile, Liberty is just beginning to wake up.

Earlier, Liberty’s day also began with an alarm clock buzzing and a decision to make. Liberty chose the opposite of her boyfriend.

Liberty’s weekend was one filled with misery. Saturday morning she woke up at 7 a.m. and quietly exited the scene. She considered leaving a note, but a note alone couldn’t fully explain the way she felt. It bugged her that Ethan had a condom ready on his nightstand. It was almost as if he knew that they would sleep together all along. That thought isn't sitting well with her.

As the alarm clock buzzed, Liberty decided to re-set it for later on in the day. The decision was not one that was easy to make. Liberty has had a perfect attendance record throughout all of high school.

But she could not face Ethan today. She needed time… to clear her head and to gather herself. Facing Ethan is going to be one of the hardest things Liberty will have to deal with it, and she decided that she is not prepared to deal with it on this day.

“Honey, wake-up, you’re going to be late for school,” was what her mother said.

Lib was prepared for this, and her reply was rehearsed.

“Mom I’m not feeling too good today, I’m probably just going to stay home. Don’t worry, I don’t have any tests and I’ll get notes from Denise.”

“But, you have a perfect attendance record sweetheart. Is something wrong?” her mother had asked.

“I just really feel sick and I don’t want to pass anything on,” Liberty lied.

“Alright, if you’re sure,” replied Mrs. Hollingsworth, suspicion lurking.

Ethan walks onto the hardwood floor wearing a black Under Armour sleeveless shirt and black Nike shorts. His quick reflexes take control, and he opens his hands just in time to receive a chest-pass delivered by TJ.

“You ready to shake off the rust?” TJ asks.

Ethan shoots the ball from just beyond the three-point arc. Swish.

Ethan tries to hide his smile and acts like it’s no big deal.

“The kid makes one shot and he suddenly regains all his cockiness,” Jared says as he walks out of the men’s change room. His sleeveless Nike shirt showcases his well defined arms, a feature that was less apparent last season.

“You been working out Winston?” Ethan asks. “If you weren’t such a joke on the court, I’d almost be impressed.”

TJ bounce-passes the ball to Jared. Jared dribbles up to about a metre behind the spot that Ethan shot from. He pulls up and releases a jump-shot. Ethan notices that Jared has worked on his form over the summer. His once amateur technique now looks like a textbook jump-shot. Ethan watches as the ball enters the basket without touching the rim.

“I missed that thing about being a joke on the court, care to inform me Tate?” Jared asks.

“Not bad Winston, we’ll see if you’re that clutch when it comes to game situations.”

“Yes we will, because the ball will be in my hands when the pressure is on,” Jared predicts.

Ethan, Jared and TJ take turns shooting three-point shots. It has been a while since Ethan has played basketball. The summer was filled with Liberty and work—not with days at the gym and on the court. Ethan, the once all-star, looks like somewhat of a rookie around TJ and Jared.

The rest of the gym is empty except for the occasional student who pokes his/her head through the entrance. The bleachers have been pushed in to allow for as much space as possible. The upward facing lights directly overhead illuminate the room, and a cross on the wall acts as a reminder that this is a Catholic school, which is ironic considering CCH is much more notorious for alcohol, drugs and partying than any of the other Lethbridge high schools.

“What’d you do this weekend Tate?” TJ asks.

Ethan debates how to answer.

“You hang out with Liberty?” Jared questions.

“Yeah,” Ethan replies. “Lib came over on Friday night.”

“Wait a minute. Didn’t you mention last week that your mom and little sister were going to be in Calgary for the weekend?” TJ asks.

“What! You had the house to yourself and Liberty was over Friday night?” Jared asks. “Did you bang her? Tell me you nailed her!”

After a couple seconds of awkward silence, Ethan generates a response.

“No man, we just hung out.”

TJ turns to Ethan, as if realizing something.

"Wait a second... I don't believe you," says TJ.

"Liberty never misses class. Like, never. Today she didn't show up, which makes me think you two probably slept together and now you both feel guilty or some shit."

Ethan looks stunned that TJ figured it out.

"He's right!" yells Jared.

"Keep your voices down. Fine, you figured it out. Are you happy TJ? You two better keep this to yourselves," says Ethan.

“Take it easy Tate… TJ and I aren’t going to say anything. If I were you, I’d be more worried about the rumours lurking around that you’re still a virgin.”

September 19

Today I am hiding. Hiding from school, from Ethan and from my problems. I decided it was probably in my best interest not to show up. I couldn’t face him. So many questions are left unanswered.

I think I will go to school tomorrow, but I don’t know if I can face him. I need time to heal. I gave myself away too early on Friday.

I want to believe that Ethan didn’t buy the condom that day, knowing that he would get me to sleep with him that night. I want to believe that he lit those candles and held that rose because he loves me, and not just to ensure that he got laid. I want to believe that he won’t tell any of his friends about us having sex. These are all things that I want to believe… but I can’t be certain.

I am scared of a lot of things right now. I am scared that Ethan will hope that sex will be a regular thing. I have made a commitment to myself to wait a while before we have sex again. I am scared that Ethan won’t be OK with this, and that he will want sex to become routine. But there is something that scares me more. I am more worried that Ethan and I won’t be able to work things out. I love Ethan, more than any other guy I have ever known, and I truly want us to be together. People say that kids in high school don’t know what it feels like to love someone. Well maybe Ethan and I are a rare case, but I know that we have fallen in love with each other. I hope he doesn’t think that I’m done trying just because I didn’t come to school today. I hope he doesn’t assume that I’ve moved on if I don’t confront him for some time. I just need space and time to determine the best way of talking to him about this.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7