14,114 ft. - [a survival story]
It was a glorious morning, the morning I left. I don't think I've been dry since.
As if to prove the truth of it, a rogue wave slapped against the hull of my increasingly makeshift dinghy, splashing up into the air in a spray that sparkled against the sunset. Most of it landed inside. It joined the rest of the water that sloshed around in the bottom of my boat, only ankle deep. I would bail out my ark later.
(story preview only)
Photo by @negativer
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This is a phenomenally imaginative story. How did you dream this up? I love it! A little bleak, but I would expect no less!
True story: my maiden name is Pike and I am a direct descendant of Zebulon Pike, founder of Pike’s Peak. He was evidently my great great great great uncle.
I really lived the writing voice in this story!
Thanks for plowing through it! I tried to write it a little differently, a little more deep pov with some clever words and descriptions, and only the most scant dialogue. I think it requires a little more of the reader this way, versus just being able to skip through easy to chew on bits of dialogue or simple sentences and phrases. Still, I am super glad you read it and enjoyed it!
I also forgot to comment on how awesome it is that you have your lineage traced back to Zebulon Pike! My only connection to the mountain is that I drove up a short part of the way, many many years ago, but it stuck with me how monumentally large it was.
Funny thing is, from what I understand, Pike never climbed it. He said it could not be done. Today, I think you can get up with a walker.
But anyway, back to your story. I think it’s quite masterful—beautifully and richly told and very readable. Kudos!
Sam at the bow of the boat in the middle of The Sea is an image I'm glad to have in my head now.
I really liked this! It's the kind of psychological journey I like to embark on. His thougths are a pleasure to read. I may try something like it for Round 3, to rest a bit from the kind of narration I've been practicing lately.
Hey, thanks for reading! I've been using these contests as an excuse to try some different types of writing. Introspective, or humor, or whatever. I'm going with a bit of humor for round 3.
Thx!
Hmm, humor... That's something I don't usually do either. Don't worry, though! I'm not planning on a clash of laughs! Hahaha
Humor is a lot harder than it seems. Timing, word choice, phrasing, setup, pacing, etc, means a lot in order for it to actually work.
Nice to see Sam on the boat as well : ) Impressive imagination! Hopefully you had nice time spent working on this prompt as well. Let's see what happens with the last round now. Cheers!
Great story! At least there's a glimmer of hope. I like how he is a survivor, but a bit callous toward the lives of others. Really, I think that's a realistic person, not necessarily the hero.
Thanks! I think that's kind of how a lot of us would be in that situation. You can't help everyone, even if you might want to.
This post has been deemed resteem & upvote worthy by your friendly @eastcoaststeem ran by Steemian @chelsea88
Such a unique story! It's funny, I've actually been to Pike's Peak. They have the best donuts ever there because of how the altitude affects the way they're cooked.
"Alaska, you bastards. After all we've done to help you, this is how you repay us?"
Favorite line ever.
Thanks @caleblailmusik! I wish I had gone to the top, but I had wussed out (actually I was afraid my car would wuss out at the time). I'd love to eat some high altitude donuts.
Thx for reading!
Ur welcome!
We rode the little train up to the top. I don't know how much that costs though, it was part of a package for a trip I took to New Mexico.
Ciao!
Good story! This may be a trite observation, but I was hoping he might have caught a fish or two for the sake of his cat. Of course, I'd have expected they would share; for me, that would have made for a happy ending.
Well, I did offer a bit of a tease that he was fishing for them both, but I didn't want to offer too much optimism :) Still, it wouldn't have been a bad way to end the story either.