RE: Reborn: Chapter Fifty One "Vows and New Beginnings"
Now this chapter read more smoothly than the previous ones. I guess the talk that resembled gossiping high school friends near the beginning made it lighter? Haha! It was a very entertaining read for sure. It's ironic how Tyros was highlighted immediately after I replied to you in a previous comment that he was the one that stood out the most for me.
Interesting mechanic surrounding raping a female vampire. If only that applied to humans as well, the world would be better off. Instead of 3 days, make it a lifetime of pain! It's cool that you touched on the myth of inviting vampires as well. I haven't thought of it that way. Nice to have wards as the reason. Makes more sense.
You could've easily divided it where you put the **, my friend. The first part read really smoothly, and it was very easy to digest. It had a good balance all to its own, and it felt like a complete chapter. The second part was a bit bulky, I think. If it were to stand on its own, without the first part, I think it would be alright as a chapter, but it was chock full of events and information.
I can't pinpoint where exactly the bulk is concentrated in, but it might be in how the montage was executed. Though, I can't say for sure. I'm not saying that there's anything really wrong with the chapter, I'm just saying that the second part really dragged it out a bit. But, perhaps it's just personal preference. As you may know, I'm not a huge binge reader :)
In any case, great job, my friend :D
You have mentioned you're not a binge reader. And I have mentioned that splitting it for steemit has been a pain in my booty, can't always catch it right. I felt like if I ended it at the ** it would have been super short. And it definitely would have in comparison to my other chapters with only Jared's chapters as exceptions. They have to stand alone But you're probably right. Also, I think I felt like the chapter of Anna getting information would have been too dull on its own? But maybe it wouldn't have dragged as much if I kept it shorter. I'm not sure I'll ever quite get splitting this book up right for this platform. Writing Today Again intentionally for steemit was a whole different thing.
Also, I think that's probably the only chapter for the rest of the book that was a little dull (and I maybe wanted to get it out of the way, LOL). Necessary because of the info however.
Oh, hey, don't take my word for it. I'm the last person who should be giving advice about posts here haha! Your stories are doing exponentially better, my friend :D
I found the first part very intriguing, and wouldn't have felt shortchanged if it was a standalone chapter. The second part, to me, felt it dragged a bit because of the montage sequence. But, overall, this chapter felt very smooth to read compared to the previous ones that introduced the new characters. The information was easily digestible, as I mentioned previously. Perhaps I'm just being acclimated to the newer setting now.