I really enjoyed this. The entire first half felt really emotionally accurate - it is a believable scene and dialogue, which I do not mean as faint praise. It is spot on.
My only constructive criticism would be that the exposition about the river and pollution felt a little forced - your story had been doing a marvelous job of showing us what was happening and then it kind of took a break to tell us what was happening, and it felt disjointed. There are ways to work in exposition a little more subtly. But this is a minor thing - I am only even saying this to you because I think your writing is terrific and you show true promise as an author here. Keep it up.
Much love - Carl "Totally Not A Bot" Gnash
@carlgnash from the @humanbot Human Certified Original Works Initiative has manually determined this post to be the original and truly creative work of the post author.
Thanks for being an original and creative content creator! You rock!
2 months later, I get a curie. Thanks @carlgnash. This helped and your talk on promo-mentors also gave me a great boost. It helped me know what curators look out for... and I heard the last bits of your singing too. haha.
Thanks at @carlgnash. I really appreciate this. I will continue working hard at it!
ah ha ha that is awesome I was cracking myself up with the singing :) Congrats on the curie! :)
Thank you. :)
Hey. I am done with school (for now) and I'm back to the writing board. Here's something I wrote recently. Maybe you could take a peak and let me know if you like it.
https://steemit.com/writing/@ronyxoxo/banding-minnow-science-fiction-chapter-one
Thanks.