Watch My Ass

........................................................................................................................................................................................
(Present day)

Five minutes old? A baby Ass?

THAT set me back. Should I call it Jack or Jenny? The question remained.

“Are you male of female?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

“As you please sir” it replied.

“How about you be a female” I said. I was winging it. I (sometimes) got along with females...very rarely so with males. We always ended up fighting, either verbally or sometimes more physically. I guess it was an alpha/beta thing. The problem with that was I wasn’t either. I was neither alpha nor beta (or gamma). I was neither leader nor a follower...I just stayed out of the way. I marched to the squeal of a different calliope.

“Yes sir” she said. I noted the change in the voice almost instantly, then watched with fascination as the face before me metamorphosed into my dream girl.

“How did you do that?” I asked. She was perfect in every way. "How did you match my secret lusts...er...I mean desires so closely?”

“As I mentioned before Sir. " She said "I monitor your vitals. As I changed the image I could determine your preferences by the change in your heart beat, skin perspiration, pupil dilation, respiration and a hundred other indicators. How did I do?”

“Perfect” I replied. "But I ain’t no ‘sir’. I work for a living....or that is...I did.”

“Not any longer....SIR.” she replied firmly and with emphasis. "You have me now. I’ll take care of all the heavy lifting but I leave the driving to you. I’ll call you Sir. Anything else would be improper. When I do so it reminds YOU of MY place. You are the Master here, I’m the hired help. It’s my job to please you in all ways. It’s my sole purpose. My only reason to exist and I take it VERY seriously.”

She didn’t sound all that much like hired help. She had a whim of Iron. No backup to her.THAT set me back on my heels.

“What, exactly do you mean by ‘in all ways” I asked.

She proceeded to tell me.

OH. MY. GAWD!. I blushed.

Best not go there...either.

Yet.

“Ahem...well...Yeah.” I stammered. She laughed.

“Well get to that later. Perhaps.” I said. "I suppose you need a name?”

“If you prefer Sir. It’s entirely up to you. I’ll always know if you are talking to me...or not. It’s part of my programming.” She replied.

One shock after another. I had been considering naming her Jennet or Jenny. Now I wasn’t so sure if Jenny Ass would be all that good of an idea.

“We’ll get to that later too....or not ” I told her "Right now I’m on a mission. I need to make my wheel smart.”

“Very Good Sir!” she said in that delightful accent. The accent had grown more pronounced as we spoke. She was wrapping me around her algorithm. "I’ll do everything I can to help. If I do say so Sir. That’s quite a lot. I’m quite proficient.”

And so it was, but there WERE a few hiccups.

“Is THIS all we have to work with?” She asked with scorn in her voice. She was looking at my glorious new creation. The upgraded 3D printer that I had put together myself. True, It wasn’t up to the one that was currently chugging away making a another better, printer..but it was pretty good I thought. Apparently not. She looked at it as if it were something unpleasant that she had stepped in.

“Um...yeah.” I said.

“Well this just won’t do at all Sir.” she said "Leave it up to me. I’ll fix it up right proper. THEN we’ll see to your smart wheel. Oh..and what is that silly thing on your face? Is it steam powered or is it hand cranked? It’s rather cute in a stone age sort of way but...No that won’t do either. Nor will that silly suite that you are wearing. What is it called? Oh yes. A tesla suit. Oh dear no. I can see that I have a lot of work to do just to see that you are dressed properly.”

“Speaking of dress” I thought as her body began to take on more definition. No longer a ghostly apparition. She became a REAL girl.

I watched in stupefied fascination as Jenny’s body became that of the woman every hormone crazed fourteen year old boy longed for. Naked as a jaybird too.

“Er.” I was tongue tied. I had just THOUGHT that Kitty was sexy. "If I am to form any kind of coherent thought...”

“Sir?” she interrupted in the most alluring way.”Is everything quite Okay?”

“Er...well.. YES..I love your outfit but....BUT.....there’s isn’t much ‘there’... there.” I said. "Nothing actually.”

“OH?” she grinned wickedly "Would that be...... oh...you mean clothing?”

“Clothing...YES! " I replied in an instant. "You don’t have any.”

She curtsied. I gasped. I definitely got an eyeful.

“I like the girl part a LOT. You’re lovely but much too distracting if I’m not to drool all over myself, much less be able to think.” I finished.

“Very Good Sir.” she said as clothing appeared concealing her. "Will this do?”

“Oh HELL no.” I said. She’d gone from wearing nothing to wearing a Niquad

“Very good sir” I detected a hint of humor in her voice. Her clothing changed again.

“Yesssss” I said "_ I like that so much better._”

She was attired in the manner of a French Maid...as depicted in a girlie magazine. I could deal with that MUCH easier than total nudity or that god-forsaken beach umbrella.

She smiled wryly as if she sensed my relief, I swore I heard a fiddle in the back ground, then she turned her attention back to the 3D printer.

“ No...this won’t do at all.” she said again after a quick brief examination. "Leave it to me sir. I’ll fix it right up.”

She did that.

She told me where to made an adjustment here, then one there. She told me to increase the flow-rate of a nozzle here and to dial down the voltage of a sensor there. Oddly enough I could follow every move she told me to do made knew exactly what we were doing and why. I’d been a fair hand as a computer tech back in the day. I worked on the hardware and no it wasn’t vacuum tube, not all of it anyway. I wasn’t a software geek although I could hum the tune enough to get by, but what I was doing should have been WAY out of my depth...but it wasn’t. I was learning the tech WAY too fast and easy. She was teaching me and I was soaking it up MUCH faster than I had ever been able to before..

“Are you messing with my mind?” I asked.

“Why of course Sir” She replied.

“Oh.” And THAT was all I said about THAT.

“There” she said "That should do it. This poor thing should suffice until the next iteration”.

That ‘poor thing’ was leading, bleeding cutting edge of tech as far as I could tell...it was the equivalent of anything I’d ever read of and reading about tech was my hobby. She regarded it with condescension and disdain.

“Ok...let’s see what we can do with THIS poor thing.” I indicated the MonoWheel.

"You said you had some ideas?” I asked her

“That I do Sir”....and by gum.. she did.

---

Next Chapter
Previous Chapter
The Beginning