RELINQUISHING HURTFUL MEMORIES

Photo Source : Pixabay
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do especially when memories of the hurts and scars of the incident flood your mind continually. It is very normal to feel hurt, betrayed or embarrassed by people's actions but it is unhealthy to make such memories dwell in your mind and continue hunting an aspect of your life. Most people think forgiving easily or letting go of hurts just so that peace may reign is a sign of weakness or your vulnerability to them, on the contrary, forgiving others requires maturity of the mind and inner strength. Being matured enough to know that keeping malice or grudges hurt you even more than the person you're hurting over and as such letting go of it is more beneficial to you.
Holding onto grudges is like grasping a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else, funny enough it's the person with the coal that feels the pain the most. Someone once asked what is really this forgiveness, Is it false reconciliation when an apology is offered? Maybe you've been badly hurt and you have it all stuck in your mind, then the offender comes up with the normal cliché "I'm sorry" but you can't let go of how hurt you are.
You've probably accepted the apology but your mind hasn't forgiven the person. Forgiveness is a thing of the mind, your mind learns to let go of it even when the opposite party doesn't feel remorseful about his/her actions.

PHOTO SOURCE : *PIXABAY

When you forgive someone, you let go of the anger, the resentment and the pains, though the memories will still linger but anytime it crosses your mind, you no longer feel the pain or hurt anymore.
Most people are experiencing insecurities and problems of mistrust in their relationship because they can't get over the heartbreak or betrayal they experienced in their previous relationship. It's possible the other person might have moved on and probably has a better life. Forgiving someone doesn't necessarily mean you can trust the person again, it does not mean you can go back to how you were before but forgiveness breaks those walls keeping grudges would have built. It sets your mind free from the burden of recollecting the event and dwelling in the past.
I've heard people who swore never to forgive an individual that offended them, I've met people with this strong feeling of resentment and hurt feelings towards another because of their experiences. Most times, the people they are hurting over may not even know they took offence in their actions or words.
It's hard to forgive, it's certainly difficult to let that embarrassment go, to let the mockery and ridicule go, to forget about the betrayal and all the pretence and false promises, it's hard not to hold on to the memories of the Ill treatment but it's really worth it.
First, you have to realize you're dealing with humans and they are liable to offend you in a terrible way, of course they are liable to hurt your feelings even when they had promised not to.
You need to accept that they are humans as such, they have their imperfections. Also recognize that holding onto the hurt, fears and painful memories will only hinder you from moving on in life. Express your feelings to the person, let the person know you've been hurt by their actions rather than hold grudges against the person.
Learn to accept the past and embrace life as it is today.