Hmmm... I enjoyed reading this story.

The English here don't seem standard to me, and some parts could be better formatted. Like when the scene changes, you have to put the next part in a new line.

"Uh, look at some late lunatic!" Came the comment of one of my friends. I ignored him. "Why are you late, Egi?" Slamet asked. "I saw somebody wanting to kill me!"

That part should be like this, to give the reader a space to change 'who is talking' in their mind:

"Uh, look at some late lunatic!" Came the comment of one of my friends. I ignored him.

"Why are you late, Egi?" Slamet asked.
"I saw somebody wanting to kill me!"

The ending of the story is abrupt, it seems there are next part right? If so I wish if you'd say that in the post... Because ending a story in a cliffhanger can backfire sometimes.

Hope I see more of your stories in the future.

I didn't upvote you because I have to save my upvotes, but... EDIT: Upvoted now. and I mentioned you in my Daily Picks if you wanna check them.