Feminism... FOR MEN !

in feminism •  3 years ago  (edited)

September is almost here and so the parents everywhere are shopping in preparation for sending the kids back to school. While shopping among some of these parents I overheard something that infuriated me.

”Mammy please can I have the Hulk lunchbox?”

Said the little girl
I watched as her Dad clutched the lunchbox waiting for permission to grant his daughter's wish.

”No! That’s for boys!”

The mother said.

I was disappointed to see him put the lunchbox back on the shelf.

He could have been a feminist!

When asking men “are you a feminist?” most men will say no.

But there are some very important reasons why

Feminism Needs Men and Men Need Feminism

The HeForShe campaign encourages men to get involved in feminist activism. Although Emma Watson does address men's issues as well as women’s there is a problem in my opinion with the exterior appearances of the campaign. The name ‘HeForShe’ suggests that the motives of male feminists should be for the progressions of women in society. To a certain degree it is true that this is in the interest of men, especially men with daughters.

Womens issues are your mothers, sisters and daughters issues

When you have a daughter, you start to realize she’s just as strong as everyone else in the house — a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man.

If like this father, you "want there to be [no more] glass ceilings for [her] to have to break through", then it would be wise to learn about these issues of women and try to understand how we collectively reinforce them.

But if feminism is for equality of both men and women then we cannot disregard areas in which men are oppressed. I am not writing this in support of “Mens Rights Activism” as that would suggest that feminism does not include the issues of men. ‘MRA’s’ are not interested in treating the genders equally. If they did, they wouldn’t insist that men who do not behave the way their prescribed gender insists they do as “pussies”.

There are men and women everywhere who reject feminism. But if asked “do you believe in gender equality?” the same people will say “yes of course!”

The core value of feminism is of course gender equality.

And if you believe in gender equality but you don't wish to identify with the word then it's due to misinformation or misinterpretation. Feminism is incredibly complex and contradictory which I believe is what causes people to reject it. There will always be something within feminism that you firmly disagree with.

The question is not are you a feminist, but what kind of feminist beliefs do you hold.

For instance one side of feminism believes that women who flaunt their bodies to the male gaze are reinforcing female objectification. Then there is another feminist argument which completely contradicts this, which is that women should be free to express their sexuality without being made feel ashamed.

Feminism has for centuries been given a bad name

There are of course 'bad feminists' who believe that by calling themselves feminist they are somehow better than others. They also choose to define feminism by their own personal values, and reject ideas that contradict their own as "not feminist". These people abuse the name and might say that your argument is misogynist or "against feminism" when in fact feminism is not an argument, it's a conversation. One in which we all have different views.

It's only natural that people don’t want to associate with bad names. Unfortunately, being anti-feminist means believing that men should in fact be valued and empowered more than women. Don't let the media fool you! They propagate this bad name by representing radical feminism as feminism.

Feminism is a conversation, not a rulebook!

(Skip to 3 minutes 20 seconds)

Even the word, I often hear people reject as sexist. But people need to remember where we were when feminism began if we are to argue about the origins of the name. This is the reason that the word feminism is gendered. It was not just a movement, it was also a study of femininity. But of course, as it progressed it was realised that femininity is not the only learned gender and masculinity also causes restraints for men and women in society.

Mens issues, if derived from gender inequality are of course feminist issues.

Feminism is as much for men as it is for women. In fact, I would go as far to say that when it comes to parenthood, it is fathers who are oppressed. It is in men's interest to be feminist if they are ever to fight against the pre-conception that mothers are more nurturing by nature.
(Apologies for the Facebook link, I couldn’t find this anywhere else)

If they wish to be able to change their own babies nappy in a restroom like mothers can, or if men wish to have more parental rights when not in a relationship with the mother, or to have as much right to paternity leave as mothers have to maternity leave, then it is actually in men’s interest to study feminist theory so that they can coherently bring up these issues of gender inequality.

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  ·  3 years ago (edited)

I believe in equal rights for both genders, so can I be both a feminist and a masculinist at the same time?

That depends what you mean by masculinist... Since feminism is already about the equal rights of both genders I don't see why you need another word for it. If you believe in order for us to be equal we need to include both words, then by all means... I don't recognise the word to be a thing to be honest.

we have a word about that too. equality. fiminism just push things a biiiiiiiiit to the pink side.

  ·  3 years ago (edited)

Unfollow. Mute. Bye.

Thank you. This is a very essential discussion. I think that we all will gain from feminism. Even us born with a penis who are privileged in many ways if we are cis,but we as well are suffering from gender norms that are reducing our ability to choose our own personality freely. I can´t begin to count all the times I have been included in statements starting with" WE men" and then goes on spruting some generic nonsense that I certainly don´t want to be associated with,like always being horny,or being out drinking with the "boys" and not talking about feelings.
Gender is a social construct,and although I look quite much like a normal man,I consider myself genderfluid. I don´t like most things about masculinity.

"You are not born a woman, you become one."

It goes without saying that the same applies to men.

Absolutely!! Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment.

This is exactly why men need feminism just as much as women do. Groups like MRA's (Mens Rights Activists) instead accuse feminists as being mans enemy, for making "pussies" out of men. But this claim is exactly why MRA's are not about mens rights at all. Instead they put more pressure on men to fit a particular set of characteristics to oppose the ones feminists wish only to allow people to choose for themselves.

Gender fluid is a term I believe that almost anybody could identify with if we were all truly honest with ourselves because the truth is NONE of us are inherently or completely masculine or feminine. For instance, I am feminine in some ways, but I am also competitive, athletic, headstrong and often careless about my physical appearance. If we are afraid to identify as gender fluid, then we must expect ourselves to fit into a very narrow set of characteristics which would make us very predictable, boring and dishonest people.

The patriarchy is to feminism, as the "global zionist conspiracy"* is to anti-semitism (semitarchy, if you will). As such Feminists have explicitly labeled males as evil oppressors--the enemy. Then they expect men to believe that they care about men's rights? Feminists have vociferously opposed Intactivists campaigning against all forms of genital mutilation, male, female and intersex, on the grounds that only FGM is a problem. Thus feminists claim that only females have a right control their own bodies. Feminists have opposed father's rights initiatives, such as legal paternal surrender, et cetera. Feminists aren't crying out about the increasing gender gap in education either. Oh, but Feminists do want men to be more like women... so yeah, I can't fathom why men are so reticent to believe that Feminists care deeply about issues affecting men and boys.

Well put together and thought out post. The last two paragraphs are particular noteworthy.

On the FLIP SIDE, it's funny how we have to LABEL initiatives that look to essentially change existing LABELS. Irony.

It would probably help if people just stopped worrying what others thought and just "do you." That only would help loosen and shed labels for future generations.

I agree, it would be ridiculous to try to change the word. So often I am asked by people why not just be a humanist instead of a feminist. This kind of talk just belittles the feminist movement as if by getting rid of the 'F' word we could ever see progress for gender equality. If we were to stop talking about it, we would inevitably go backwards I believe.

Guess it's the same dilemma with BlackLivesMatter vs. AllLivesMatter. I personally think if everyone jumped on the latter than the labels start to meld and melt. Sometimes labels to unite actual divide, but then sometimes labels to progress do just that, create progress.

So many variables, so many opinions, so many points of view. The human emotion is certainly an enigma.

Yeah that #alllivesmatter winds me up.
Or this.

I'm trying to understand why this picture is here. Obviously this isn't you right? Sorry, your pov is different and I'm interested in a further elaboration on the message you are trying to convey here. It's unclear.

Fantastic article! I love how you put in a man's perspective. As you said, feminism isn't just for women, it's for everyone, including men.

What you said about where the word feminism came from made me think. Rather than only advocating for women, it's a defence for characteristics that have traditionally been deemed "feminine" eg. being sensitive, caring, empathetic. Of course, rather than only being acceptable for one gender, these are really just neutral character traits that anyone, regardless of sex or gender should feel confident enough to have. And this, in many ways, is what feminism stands for!

interesting article , given me something to think about - great content

  ·  3 years ago Reveal Comment


  ·  3 years ago Reveal Comment



"When asking women “are you a feminist?” most women will say no." Only about 23% of women self identify as feminist. http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/tabs_gender_0411122013.pdf

Feminism isn't equality, it's female superiority.

If you don't have have an education maybe.