Why People Comment on My Posts, I Upvote Them...Really?
So had someone send me a message saying that the " your posts are shit and the only reason anyone votes for my posts and then comments is because I tend to give bigger upvotes in return."
Yeah let that sink in for a minute. This was how my morning started...oh so glad I decided to open up discord again...lol.
Now I reworded both of the statement as the grammar wasn't the greatest and there was more vulgar comments that don't need to be repeated...but you get the point.
I grew up in the era that parents reminded us "Sticks and Stones may Break My Bones, but Words will Never Hurt Me", but lets be honest we all hate hearing something like this. It's the second nasty comment made towards me in a couple days now and starting to wonder What is Wrong with People?
Source: Pixabay
Downside to an anonymous platform is people can act like jackasses when in person they wouldn't dream of it. People who choose to act like a jerk have little to no chance of ever having to face consequences for their actions from the person they committed them against.
| So when we are anonymous maybe we need to act like we are in the room with friends and family who will judge our behavior. Act in a way that if our kids (or future kids) were to read our comments and posts they would be proud of us, not shaking their heads with disappointment. |
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You see actions on the blockchain are here forever so your actions today will be here for others to review later in life. Personally I'd rather if my kids read all my back posts and comments that they look at me and say "that was pretty boring, but good job for sticking with it" over them saying "wow, interesting, can't believe you acted like that and then tell me to act exactly the opposite...you are a hypocrite"
| See my kids have grown up with me telling them that their Personal Character Counts. How they act when people are watching and more importantly when they think Nobody is watching means |
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Let me give you an example of 2 people who at the core did the same thing, but did it in totally different ways and how it changes the value of what was done.
- Person A decides one day to give a large donation to help feed poor children. They decide to take 20% of their income from the entire year and give it to the cause. They arrange to do so in public with their local newspaper there and all their friends and family so everyone could see this good deed.
- Person B also decides to give the same 20% donation. They go to the website and make an anonymous donation not even having their name listed as a top donor.
While both people did a great thing in supporting poor kids to me person A did so for selfish reasons while person B made their donation because they truly wanted to help others.
Now I choose to use a positive activity that is done while nobody else is watching normally. But lets face it while nobody is paying attention to us we each make decisions each day that involve greater moral and ethical issues then if we want a little praise for good deeds. These actions, the ones that you can hide from the world, are the ones that determine what type of person you really are.
So if you are here voting on my post because you want an upvote in return I'm completely cool with it. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. But I'd rather my time be spent with people who either want to challenge my thoughts or agree with my thoughts and can add to them.
| Luckily I don't believe that anyone is here just to get my little upvote, rather I feel those who comment on a regular basis are here for genuine reasons. So while I had to talk about the topic please know in no way did I even for a second think any of you are this type of person. |
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In the end Words Didn't Hurt Me, just annoyed me for a minute. Below are My Girls, who are just two reasons that I need to lead by example and make sure that if my actions are looked at they show Good Personal Character & Strong Morals.
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| Let me know your thoughts. My posts aren't a static piece of information, but rather the starting point of what I hope turns into a conversation. |
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I got a little too defensive when taking your fair and constructive criticism the other day and said something that I didn't really mean and shouldn't have said.
I'd been having a really stressful day and your post, though honest and well constructed, was the last straw for me that day, my apologies @thedarkhorse.
Shit I didn't want anyone called out and as you can tell from my post while I was annoyed at the time by your comment that wasn't the one that really pissed me off. And to be clear to everyone Mike wasn't the person that messaged me on discord today.
You and I settled things IMO already, but thank you for your coming here to apologize. That shows a level of character that more then offsets having a bad day and making a comment that you didn't mean.
Another thing I tell my kids all the time, "We ALL make mistakes, but it's what we do afterwards that counts."
Wow, what genuine people. Noyce! ;-)
Well, of course, don't worry a damn about people like that. My guess is they were fishing for a comment upvote somewhere in the past and didn't get it. Communication and consistency are the key to relationships. I upvote your posts automatically now without even reading them first (Steemauto is awesome!). Why? Because I know your character and that you don't spam shitty content 5 times a day and because you give thoughtful comments on my posts that are engaging. Not just a "tit for tat" thing, but a respect thing. Keep doing what you're doing. Girls look great by the way. Fun picture.
Thank you for the kind words and honestly this is why I knew the person's comments weren't actually true. but rather just an annoyance. Really feel like I was being baited into something that I had no interest in getting into, but that isn't really important.
Instead of allowing this person to get me to turn nasty all it did was make me take a quick look at those who I spend time with here and reaffirm that it's a great group of people.
Being very serious I've talked with my Wife about the idea of figuring out how to change my business up enough to be able to travel around the world meeting people from steemit in person. She thinks I'm crazy, but it's been a topic of discussion.
I am very sorry to hear the unpleasant dealings you have been enduring.......(with dignity) recently @thedarkhorse When I went through something similar a while back, someone left me a comment which said, "Welcome to the Internet!" Whilst I saw their point of view I also acknowledged that, thankfully the ones who lack moral fibre and feel obliged to give others a hard time online (for whatever reason) are in the minority. And steemit has attracted an amazing group of positive, creative and caring people and these are the ones we gravitate to. It is a good thing that you felt free to share your feelings because it puts things into perspective and you realize that other non deserving steemians suffer the same sort of abuse from time to time. It comes as a shock when you are not the type of person to act in such a manner yourself,and it is hard to understand why a few disgruntled members cannot show more restraint or better still, not say anything at all because their actions will eventually come back to bite them especially, as you say, what they've said here cannot be erased, Unless of course they decide they have over stepped the mark (which happened in my case) and delete their own negative, remarks. From what I have read of the responses here, you have the support of many and much good has come out of this conversation. I know you will rise above this and take from it what you can to grow, and cement your already strong characteristics. I adore the photo of your beautiful girls in this image. I'm sure it have a special place in the family albums.
;-) I see I am in fine company here in this thread. It really is a breathe of fresh air. Good to see you're staying well and positive, Ma'am.
Hello @trumanity......lovely to catch up again. Yes, it’s good to have some in depth conversations about subjects that really matter. How have you been?
Oh, my dear friend. I've been well, although my doctor didn't think so. He got me hyper concerned to the extent I started facing my mortality. Turns out all is clear.. so I'm celebrating, by God's grace. Thanks for asking.
I am very pleased to hear that the doctor got it all wrong but sorry to hear that you had to go through this ordeal. Enjoy your celebrations as you thank God for bringing you through with flying colours.
If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything. Yet another simple fact of life that people seem to have forgotten.
Was just the most recent photo I had that actually had both of them in it, but I do like it. The lighting isn't right, but still a good memory. That was from our MSI trip at the Lego Exhibit
I couldn’t agree more @thedarkhorse Your trip to the Lego Exhibit must have been interesting. It must take many hours to construct some of those exhibits.
Think the bridge was 160+ hours in design time and 160 of build time. Just remember sitting there thinking "Wow, someone spent 4 weeks just to come up with the design to this and then another 4 weeks to build it."
Quite incredible! That's dedication for you! .......and a ton of patience.
I used to have a tshirt that has 2 Vultures sitting there and it said "Patience My Ass, I'm Going to Kill Something". Back then I truly had no patience, think this is something you learn over time...and that learning gets jump started when you have kids. But even still I wouldn't last that long for one lego project.
Kids have a habit of maturing us @thedarkhorse......in more ways than one. 😄
like giving us grey hair...lol
I've been hoping to read a post like this for a while now. Anonymity does lend itself to taking too much license at times, and unfortunately, that's when decorum is most needed.
So, thank you for this. I'm glad to see others (and there are plenty here) who subscribe to the same ideals of integrity and decency. Thinking about how we would do things if we were face to face with the person is the best way, I feel to go about it.
So great points. Thanks for hitting them all.
It really is nice to see how many people feel the same way.
Thank you for being that parent who practices what he preaches!
And I read through the comments here...quite an interesting turn of events, right? ;) Like I said to you before, don't waste your positive energy on the negative...it's not worth it.
Words to live by my friend! Nicely handled...all of this ;)
Wish I could say always, but at the very least I am always striving for this. Mistakes are made, but owning those and then moving on with the expectation to not make then again is key.
That's all we can do is try! As parents, we do our best, and sometimes it's awesome and sometimes it's not good enough. Hopefully our kids remember a happy medium ;)
Screw them.
Anyway, you are right and I have a post I should be working on about the actions of the faceless. I don't care if people are there for the vote as long as they make an effort to engage with the content/comments also. There are all types of scam here, all types of nonsense going on. Having a little personal integrity is rare in this world I feel.
Perhaps it was always lacking...
Needed to hear that!
Personal integrity is truly someone the world could use more of. Know so many think that it's "love" or some other flower power type thing, but it really comes down to if people acted with personal integrity so many of the worlds problems would never be there in the first place.
And I'm sure it was always lacking in a percentage of the population. We have always had crime. We have always had scams. We have always had corruption. and so many other issues that come down to personal integrity.
Think that today we just notice it more. My group of friends and family have integrity or I wouldn't surround myself with them. So I don't deal with BS like this on a normal basis. Add in that in person it's very rare someone insults the 6' 3" guy that at 40 still plays hockey twice a week and it's just rare that anyone is rude to me or even those around me.
But online sitting behind a computer screen maybe people's true nature shows. Or maybe it's not even their true nature, but it's what they see gets them attention and they are crying out for any sort of attention kind of like a kid who acts out because their parents don't give them enough love. Honestly not sure why, but overall I think that the fact we can interact with so many people so quickly and from all walks of life we just notice those who act this way.
Hm... think everything has been said already so the only thing I can do is... upvote your post 🙃😜🙃
Or wait, maybe 1 thing... yes, the internet brings up the worst of people... but never forget that you have to have it in you before it can come up... isn't it?
Internet has a lot of trolls but honestly...I see more & more trolls in real life too...
(sorry for my English if it's not clear what I mean...)
Your English is just fine. Your point was understood for sure.
Every time I think I might get up the energy to go in and try to figure out discord for the 10th time - I read a post like this that convinces me it is a bad place and not worth my effort. Over and over again I read about mean people over there. At least when people post on steemit it is out in the open.
I've seen quite a few fights come out of discord and spill onto steemit in nine months here. Those of us not in discord are treated to the middle of the fight without context and sometimes the flags fly. I feel fortunate that I am too dumb to be able to even get in there.
Yeah I avoid discord in general, but it's a good spot to have a private conversation about things. As I was helping out someone get some cash for their steem we couldn't be sharing private info over steemit. Plus with the contest I'll be running I have someone who I was chatting with there. So had been showing live for a couple days. Not going to toss out the baby with the bathwater as they say, will stay on Discord for now and see if I can figure out how to add value to my efforts here.
I just can't seem to get in there at all, so I might never know lol. I do have many friends here who think it is great, so that is why I have tried to get in so many times. But I guess I have enough on my plate now.
Did you see me call you out on my My Name is What? post? I think you could do a good entry for that contest :)
I didn't notice that...know I at least started reading that post, will have to go back to it. Feel like I read the whole post, but may not have gone to the bottom to see who got called out...lol.
'" your posts are shit and the only reason anyone votes for my posts and then comments is because I tend to give bigger upvotes in return."'
I think that is a really shitty thing to say. Your posts are not shit, they are original, decently sized and informative. I for one would not follow you if that was not the case.
Your large upvote of course will attract attention from some, but you certainly dont write 'shit'. Ignore is my suggestion and probably dont respond. You dont have too, look at all the support you have in this thread.
I have ignored and really made this post more for those that have a hard time ignoring, or a hard time standing up for themselves. Plus it's therapeutic to talk about something that is making you made vs keeping it in, this group of great people acted as my therapist for the last day and it's great! Actually this may be a future post topic...lol
Yes it's always a little shock to see how people can be and there is no chance to get the 'why'. But as everybody said - don't waste your time to think about those people. You know for yourself that you don't write bs and you are perceptive enough to know that people do like the conversations with you and don't comment only for the upvote. I would comment exactly the same to you if there weren't upvotes because it's just nice and interesting talking to you. Keep on steeming in your way 😉
Of course - that's a great motivation to grow. I also wish i could help out more with my upvotes - but that will take some more time. That's what i like a lot about steem, that you really can help each other to grow and that you can direct the votes to those in need or to great projects in the world. I wish i was a whale ;)...
Take a look at this post if you haven't read it:
https://steemit.com/steemit/@tarazkp/if-i-won-the-lottery-and-powered-up
This is what being a mega whale could mean...fun to dream
Yeh - it's fun to dream to be such a big fish - on the other hand, if all like minded minnows would direct their power same time to the same project it could have a big impact. But as in real life people get divided on opinions and work against each other. I'm not sure if i wanted to have so much power as you get to deal with a lot of jealousy and mean people. I think that would make me sick.
Oh I would take the power and the issues that come with it. Not a fan of being in the spotlight, but for the right cause it's worth it IMO. But I completely get your point of view.