Spoiler Alert... I Hate Spoilers!

in entertainment •  5 months ago

Ok that title is pretty much a no brainer. I don't know anyone who actually likes spoilers... and yet every time a trailer for a big movie drops, it gets 12 million views.




One of the reasons I had no urge to see Titanic is that I already knew the damn ending.

I could never wrap my head around it. When I go to see a movie, I usually like to think. Considering I have seen thousands of movies, I am incredibly impressed when a movie surprises me. I am even more impressed when one seriously tricks me. But thanks to being inundated by spoilers everywhere, that is becoming less and less likely.

I held out as long as I could. I spent much of my life on a personal crusade against spoilers. It reached the point of mania.

When I was younger, it was much easier to avoid having a movie ruined. It seemed that the creators of theatrical trailers and television commercials prided themselves on attempting to pique the audience's interest without giving too much away. People were forced to use their brains to fill in what they thought might happen in a movie. Then they had to decide if what they imagined was intriguing enough to plop down $5 and two hours of their time (yeah I wrote "$5"... I am talking about 25 years ago).




Now THAT is a trailer. Even the main character has no idea what the hell is going on.

However, in more recent memory, it seems that these same creators are now trying to give away the entire movie in their previews. Have audiences become so stupid that they cannot possibly fill in the gaps with their own imaginations? Have they become so addicted to instant gratification that they need to see all of the best parts of a movie before they can decide if it will be worth while?

I'll let you be the judge of that. I don't want to spoil your fun of figuring that out for yourself.

Now back to my mania. For years, I made it a point to never watch a trailer on YouTube (you know that thing that used to be popular before they started censoring people and cutting off their revenue streams). I avoided every television commercial. Here's where it gets weird. In addition to these "normal" strategies, I also routinely found myself walking out of a theater if a preview for a movie I had intended to see filled the screen. When my wife and I first started dating, I played this off as me needing to hit the bathroom one last time before the movie started. But in reality I was being an obsessive loon.




Me when a preview for a movie I want to see comes on.

A new challenge presented itself after my wife and I had kids. When my children were younger and I took them to the movies without my wife, I couldn't exactly abandon them in the theater while I hid from a preview. I certainly wasn't going to get them out of their seats after spending 22 minutes getting them properly seated in the first place. Therefore, in the event that a preview for a movie I wanted to see began to play, I did what any normal adult with two children would do. I stared at the floor, or closed my eyes and covered my ears.

I wish I were kidding.

But I am not.

The journey on which I embark when I experience a movie is really that important to me. I don't want it ruined by anything. I want to think, wonder and be surprised. Even when I see a mindless "popcorn" movie, I always judge it by whether or not the creators managed to work in something I had never seen in the thousands of movies I have seen before it. All of that fun can be ruined by a 2 minute trailer.





Unfortunately, I simply can't keep up the fight anymore. I have been forced to concede defeat. Hollywood and its unstoppable advertising machine has bested me and there is only one person to blame...

My thirteen year old son Timmy.

Actually, because this happened over two years ago, to be more precise it was my ten year old son Timmy.

When you become a father, you need to make room for a whole new type of fun by setting aside some of your previous methods of entertainment. For example, I had to stop hanging out at clubs or playing video games until 6:00 A.M. However, for 10 years, I was able to hold on to my unspoiled movie fun.

Sadly, I held on a little too long.

When news broke that Disney was going to resurrect The Star Wars franchise, many of my friends scoured the web to find every piece of information they could. They counted down the days until the next preview was slated to be released. They bought tickets to movies they had no interest in seeing just to catch a glimpse of what could be included in the next installment of the saga. They followed gossip mongers on twitter and shared all of their findings.




My friends rushing to consume every preview and rumor.

But not me. I made a solemn vow to go into the theater on opening night a complete virgin. I wanted to be a totally blank slate. To make it even more fun, I included my son in this crusade to avoid the cursed spoiler.

When a preview would appear on TV, he or I would quickly change the channel. If a story popped up online I closed the window immediately. When friends started talking about the latest rumors I walked away... closely followed by my mini me. The same was true in the theater. When a preview began, I looked at him, said "come on R2, we're going"and then raced out of the theater. We crossed our arms and looked at each other in the satisfaction of knowing we were far superior to all of these fools who were ruining their Star Wars experience.

Then one day approximately 6 weeks before the movie opened, Timmy came home from school crying. His friends at his lunch table were talking about all of the Star Wars previews and rumors they had heard. He had tried to get them to stop but they were all too excited. He attempted to move tables but a teacher told him he could not. Therefore, he did the only thing he could. He put his hood up and placed his head on the table while covering his ears.

I had made my son... a crazy person.

Just like his old man.





As soon as Timmy had finished relating the story to me, I immediately apologized and told him my method was incredibly outdated. Perhaps in my day we could avoid spoilers. But now, they were everywhere. The only way to avoid them was to be an obsessed lunatic... like his old man. I felt terrible. How much fun with his friends had I robbed him of? How much fun could we have had exchanging theories leading up the movie?

I said, "You know what Timmy, if you can't beat them... join them." And we did. We watched 6 months worth of Star Wars previews, theories, and rumors in a little over three hours. It was awesome! It also didn't ruin my fun one bit.

I used this experience as a way to teach him about moderation. I explained how I had gone way overboard in my zeal to be the purest who would rise above the hype. Because of that, I had lost out on some fun times.

The next day, he joined his buddies in talking about their favorite topic.

Clearly, I still hate spoilers. That is why I never include any in my movie reviews. Some may say that this lack of detail makes my reviews superficial and hollow, but I don't care. When I write them, I am pretending that I am talking to a friend who is on the fence as to whether or not they should spend their time and money on a movie. I pride myself on being able to give them advice without ruining their experience.




Sorry. I just couldn't keep this one to myself. Everyone has a limit.

However, thanks to my son, I have learned to temper my lunacy. I am no longer a zealot who refuses to even look at a movie poster before the release. I have learned to enjoy trailers (especially the ones that resemble music videos). Sure it has ruined a surprise or two, but it has also lead to a lot less stress and embarrassing quick escapes.

When you decide to have kids, you are making a conscious choice to make sacrifices. Some are big and some are rather insignificant. Giving up my non-spoiler mania is clearly the latter. But one thing is for sure, you better be ready to make them.

Believe me, you don't want anything to spoil the fun of being a mom or dad.

Images 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Oh Han. We mice love previews - they build the anticipation. We remember way back to the lead up to Transformers. Rewatching previews, listening to every sound. Trying to guess the story line. This is all part of the experience for us simple mice.

DQmccA7jHyCRhovAuMYGj1TK5hF86CLs41RjLefmBuyVJrR (1).png

·

Oh you little scoundrels. I can't blame you. I bet your grandpa mice did things a little differently. But old humans like me have to adapt to the times and just learn to enjoy things in a whole new way. And there are so many sci-fi/superhero movies coming out that I know I will have fun with my whole family for a long time.

I'll make sure to leave some popcorn on the ground for you two.

  1. Your movie reviews are great.

  2. I had made my son... a crazy person. Haha I know this feeling all to well, my daughter picked up her cousins candy rapper off of the floor yesterday and started "I do a lot of the things Daniel! I do too much of the things for this house! You have to do the things for this house too! This goes in the garbage! Ugh!" And threw her hands up and walked away shaking her head mumbling that no body does the things.

  3. I really like lists

Annnd 4. It sounds more like you made more of a personal transformation than a sacrifice to me ;) just changed the way that you enjoy it.

·
  1. Thanks
  2. This could a great topic for a post "whys we have made our kids nuts" (Your example is hilarious! How old is she?)
  3. Lists are cool.
  4. That is a much better way to put it I had to change with the times in order to still share things with my son.
  5. I hope you are having fun here.
·
·
  1. You're welcome ^.^

  2. I can see that topic being very entertaining, and she'll be five in three months.

  3. Without lists I would not be able to function as a human.

  4. That's how I always like to think of it, my father's wife and I have talked a lot of times about how raising your own child is a consistent transformation of your basic self, highlighting all of the programing you've received that doesn't serve you allowing the opportunity to reprogram daily. Even now as my father and I creep up on 50 and 30 years old we're frequently reprogramming each other in ways we hadn't expected (posts to come about that).

  5. Hell yeah I'm having fun!

I hate spoilers also. I remember standing I the queue at the cinema to see the usual suspects when someone came out, chatting to his girlfriend. He pointed at Spacy and said ‘I can’t believe it was him all along’!!!

·

No way!!!!

That was one of my favorite movies of all time because I never saw it coming. And I loved how they showed exactly where he came up with the stories.

·
·

Me too. It was/ is a great film! I love it even after the reveal. Some people just don’t know when to keep quiet.

When a preview would appear on TV, he or I would quickly change the channel. If a story popped up online I closed the window immediately. When friends started talking about the latest rumors I walked away... closely followed by my mini me. The same was true in the theater. When a preview began, I looked at him, said "come on R2, we're going"and then raced out of the theater. We crossed our arms and looked at each other in the satisfaction of knowing we were far superior to all of these fools who were ruining their Star Wars experience.

Are you kidding me?? You really weren't curious about even a little bit of the movie?? I think you have incredible willpower, you're one of those faithful and loyal dating fans, I can't stop watching the trailers and they fill me with excitement, but I can respect your position, you like the expectation and you're full of excitement to think how it will be.However I must say:

? The word teaches, but the example drags?

When we are parents, it changes our lives and maybe what worked for us didn't work for them are other times, which we must now adapt to for the sake of my children! You sure made the best decision now, happy night.

·

Times change so we have to change as parents as well.

It is amazing your love of movies and determination to weed out any distractions from your total enjoyment. Good to see!

What I fucking hate is how every time there's a commercial break on TV they show a clip of what's coming up after the break and when it comes back on they have another twenty seconds recapping what you just watched. Just let me watch the goddamn show! I'll see what's coming up when it happens and I still remember what I just saw.

·

I agree with you and this still made me laugh out loud. Great points! And I admire your rage over something so silly. (And I mean that as a fellow wanna be Hulk).

I am the exact opposite as I devour all trailers that I can watch, go through reddit to discuss the latest theory and even go to dissect each Easter Egg that is seen in the trailer and shout in triumph when you discover something that no one else saw.

Yet I was not like this before. Like you I did not want spoilers and have gotten to the extreme lengths of unfriending known major spoilers especially during Game of Thrones Seasons.

Some people can simply not shut their trap and they want to be the first asshole to place a status on what happens.

Dread it, run from it, Spoilers still arrives.

So now I take a more relaxed view on it and if I have seen it no matter how strong the pull of the spoiler side , Resist, I must

Thats so funny, I also know people who go to great lengths to avoid spoilers for movies, but I must admit, I usually forget most of the spoilers unless it's something major like a significant character died. I know some people who leave a diner to avoid the spoilers and there are others who just can't resist spilling the beans, so to speak...

It’s not just the spoilers that my lovely little darlings have started to ruin. They for some unknown reason seem to think that I have seen every movie before them and I know what’s going to happen and who is going to speak next and spend the entire moving asking me a million questions I can’t possibly answer. It has become so bad that I now insist on watching anything I really want to see alone, before I watch it with them, let’s face it, with five kids all sitting their continually asking “what’s he doing?” It’s not like I’m going to be able to answer them after the movie either.
The joys of children!!

·

LOL! My daughter LOVES to ask questions like we all have ESP. During Black Panther she actually annoyed people around us. We were in an Imax theater with the old seating.

We did go to a 10:00 AM showing of a superhero movie so I din't exactly feel bad.

·

This. Constantly "Is she a bad guy?" "Why he did that for?" "How come this?" "Why didn't he do that?" Every thirty seconds -.- My response is always "Hush baby, if you watch the movie you'll find out." They do not hush.

·
·

Nope, they just keep asking lol. Got to love it.

I said, "You know what Timmy, if you can't beat them... join them." And we did. We watched 6 months worth of Star Wars previews, theories, and rumors in a little over three hours. It was awesome! It also didn't ruin my fun one bit

Lmao, what a way out! Spoilers are actually really everywhere

I like how you brought up the moderation topic, it is something that should always be on the top of our minds

When you decide to have kids, you are making a conscious choice to make sacrifices. Some are big and some are rather insignificant. Giving up my non-spoiler mania is clearly the latter. But one thing is for sure, you better be ready to make them.

And thanks for this advice too, i sure will keep it upon the pond of my mind

·

Yeah I thought we were having fun... until I realized only I was having fun and I was making him a weirdo lol.

Who doesn't hate spoilers. I don't watch any trailers of any movie. And yes I have that too, showing what will happen next in the movie in the add. It's sort of spoils the fun

When a preview would appear on TV, he or I would quickly change the channel. If a story popped up online I closed the window immediately. When friends started talking about the latest rumors I walked away...

It actualy never came to me not to watch preview. I usualy used trailer as a rating if it’s worth to watch. I felt sorry for your son when he tried to avoid his classroom friends talking about Star Wars. At first he must had felt he betrayed you and himself. Afterall it was both of you rule. Then, eventually you did the right think, he didn’t have to feel this guilt. You completely changed the rule to avoid spoilers.

·

Yeah it seemed like the only reasonable thing to do.

What pisses me the most is that there are people who do not want to be spoiled, they would post on facebook that they would kill anyone who would spoil like the latest avengers movie, yet as soon as they go see the movie themselves, they put on their status the whole freaking plot of the film. Come on hypocrites!
Well, enough ranting from me.

·

Oh you are justified in your rant! That is so annoying.

You know what's bad about the culture of spoiling movies? your friends in Facebook sharing memes thinking they're slick enough that nobody will notice. I still haven't watched Infinity Wars yet I feel like 1/3 of the movie was already ruined for me thanks to them. Sigh.....

·

Yeah it is nearly impossible to avoid. Even with knowing what happens, it is still an exciting movie. I hope you enjoy!

I have tried to avoid spoilers for certain movies in my life but I have never gone to your extreme. First off, I must applaud your efforts and amazing track record for success. Secondly, I am so proud of how you gave up something that you were clearly passionate about for your kid. I think it speaks volumes as well that Timmy was right in there with his dad through thick and thin. It shows how engaging you must be as a father and there are not enough out there that can say that.

My avoidance of spoilers personally has always been the talk after the movie is out and things that were not in the trailer start to circulate. I am actually a trailer seaker. I will go out of my way to find the newest, coolest trailer and love to talk about the what if’s and maybes that could come in the movie.
Thank you for your movie reviews that never spoil it for me and for making me want to go to the theatre just a little more, like I used to.

·

I forgot to mention in the post that our chat actually inspired this post. Thanks for the kind words... and the inspiration.

Fun Fact: I really like spoilers. And even if a trailer or a person spoilers me, I´m still gonna watch the movie

I can understand you, when you are saying that spoilers may ruin your excitement about the movie. As to me I am not a spoiler freak but if there is any interesting movie that I am interested in then I watch, but normally I do not have enough time for that.

But I have to say me and my hubby we have absolutely similar tastes in movies and series, so he usually organizes something and I must say I have never been disappointed. But there is something that irritates me, when I ask him what is the movie about he just says: "I do not know, sometimes he admits that one or other famous actor is in the movie but I most say he also does not like to know the movie about and wants to find out himself.

Another thing that you made me to recall, as our son interested in classical concert we bought a tickets few months prior to that and our son knew what the music will orchestra play but he did not listen in advance as he wanted to listen first "live" and then to listen the same in internet. So he was very excited and loved it. I think you son probably had the same experience like that too.

·

That is really cool that your son was so excited about the concert.

A lot of wisdom and humor in your storyline! I very much enjoyed your honesty about self-revelation and how we do or don't adapt to social changes. Good parenting, too. Big smile here!

It's fun to enjoy between movies and movies you do not like.Very inspiring once.You write also with a very amazing ability like I've finished watching the movie because of your incredible description. Regards!

I feel the same way. For movies I avoid watching trailers as much as possible. I made it to Avengers Infinity War without watching a trailer and found it to be an inspirational tale about one entrepreneur who followed his dreams no matter how many people stood in his way. Pretty sure the trailer would have told me otherwise.

I will change that fast channel, due to a story popped up online popped up immediately, the window closed immediately, people will say something about the latest rumors, then go away it, the planning situation is very great for unknown transformation of the people.

Of course, even before its premiere, no one has any idea what was going on. And thus became a catchy line for most protagonists in past movies.
Enjoyed it :D

I also hate corruption and hate injustice
Titanic is a very great film I saw a lot
I was crying in the end
It really is a sad end

Y si te hacen spoiler con el amor de tu vida? Odiarias eso?

I have no problem with most trailers, but I try to avoid spoilers outside of that. For some movies it doesn't matter too much. For others, it is really important not to know the secret before you see it.
And I agree that a lot of trailers today give away a lot more than they used to.

I am Pricasso most wonderful artist your friend @giantbear has nominated for you a magical Pricasso masterpiece...

hanshotfirst.png

The blog in your honor here https://steemit.com/funny/@pricasso/my-ode-to-hanshotfirst

Be blessed

Yours Always
Pricasso

all right

pocketsend:11@hanshotfirst, play around with the token of fun - POCKET!

·

Successful Send of 11
Sending Account: pode
Receiving Account: hanshotfirst
New sending account balance: 137128
New receiving account balance: 1000010
Fee: 1
Steem trxid: 0af8ad81b8374bf8e242b64382277438a14bd2ed
Thanks for using POCKET! I am running this confirmer code.

·

Successful Send of 11
Sending Account: pode
Receiving Account: hanshotfirst
New sending account balance: 137128
New receiving account balance: 1000010
Fee: 1
Steem trxid: 0af8ad81b8374bf8e242b64382277438a14bd2ed
Thanks for using POCKET! I am running this confirmer code.

I hate spoilers, but they cause a lot of intrigue when I have not seen a movie that is on the bill for lack of time or money.

My friend recently turned me into this spoiler avoiding creature that takes his classes of during the trailers and murmurs "nananananana" for the 20 mins or so. But at least now I can watch a movie without any predjuices... until, as you wrote so humorously, my son reaches the age of trailers. Terrifying, thought.
What are your favourite ones in this age of "sellsellsell" and money shot after money shot filled trailers?