What does it mean to "own" your emotions?
What an interesting question. One that has been puzzling people for ages. There were poets who wrote songs about it and writers who filled numerous book pages in an attempt to unravel this mystery. Who am I then, to question their wisdom? What insight can I bring to this question that many others before me have not already brought to light? I am for just a simple soul, but a unique one. Just as you are. Our thoughts matter, your thoughts matter, don't ever let anyone tell you different.
There are two great skills each of us has to master in our life. They are maybe the most important things to learn how to do in order to live a happy and satisfying life. One is to know when to put the mask on and the other is to master the ability to take it off. You know what mask I am talking about. The one that is hiding your emotions.
To own your emotions is to own your mask.
You cannot block emotion but you can hide it or ignore it. Some do it pretty well and some are overdoing it to that extent that it is damaging their well being. What is born inside, always has to come outside. Remember that. There is a place and time for everything. If you cannot see it or find it, make it. Make the time and express what has come to life inside you. Be careful though, not everywhere and not always is the best time.
To be fairly successful in any area of our lives, we have to have a certain control over our emotional responses. From business to relationships, showing your emotion is not always beneficial for a successful outcome. Not only are there people who will take advantage of you but this will also cloud your judgment and stop you from having a rational train of thought. There is a great saying:
Follow your hearth,
but take your brain with you.
Wearing a mask is as good for the people around you as it is for you. Think of that mask as a "pause button". It should never be a "stop", only a "pause". That pause will help you to engage in rational thinking without your emotions being an obstacle. When you and your child are in a dangerous situation, you want to comfort the child, soothe him and show that you are in control and how everything will be ok. That child needs your steadiness and calmness. He needs that feeling of being safe, and you need to be thinking smart and thinking fast. When you are interviewing for a job position, you do not want to show your nervousness or fears, you want to show yourself in the best possible light.
There are many situations in our lives when masks are necessary. Whenever we are negotiating some deal it is a must to not show our true emotions but to be as skilled in cold debating as possible. There are also times when no matter how emotional we are, those bills have to be paid and kids have to be picked up from school. You cannot leave your child to strangers and you have to pay for the food at the store. Press pause, put that mask on, switch on the rational part of your brain and push through. You will press play on your emotions later.
Now comes the tricky part, taking the mask off. It is very important to recognize, accept and let our feelings out whenever we can. Feelings are flowers, all of them, good and the bad. When we put flowers in a plastic bag, they start to rot and become toxic. That happens with feelings too. If you do not let them out in time, they will find a way to come out on their own and it won't be pretty.
“Emotional pain cannot kill you, but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal.”
Vironika Tugaleva
Take the mask off whenever you can and express yourself. I have seen many people (me included) holding on to it for too long. Nothing good comes from it. You can not put a poster of a smiley face over a broken window and proclaim it fixed and besides, it will not fool anyone, not even you. Why bother? Everything that you feel, each and every emotion is important. Feel it. Recognize it. Accept it. Bask in it. Nothing lasts forever, there will be good times and bad times but scooping unwanted things under a carpet never works. There is always a huge noticeable bump in the carpet that you will one day trip over.
It is ok to not to be ok.
It is not ok to stay in the "not ok" state. Aim for improvement and aim for feeling a bit better with each moment. You can not do that if you do not start by accepting that you are in bad place. How can you know where to go if you do not know where you are? Your emotions are important, all of them, and all of them have something to teach you, something to give you. Do not be selective and have prejudice against your negative emotions.
You are not your emotions.
You are not your thoughts.
You are the awareness behind them.
Own your mask...
UNTIL NEXT TIME,
KEEP YOUR SMILE ON!
All images used in this post are made using those that are under CC0 license which means they are free for personal and commercial use. You can find the original images by following these links:
AlexKlen, ARLOUK & kellepics
- the mask clipart used in my titles is from Free Clip Art Library
- the bitmoji is well... my bitmoji. Get yours at https://www.bitmoji.com/
- the mask clipart used in my titles is from Free Clip Art Library
- the bitmoji is well... my bitmoji. Get yours at https://www.bitmoji.com/
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So true and yet so difficult to live by. I think meditation, for me, has been a good way of accepting and allowing emotions to come out from behind the mask.
Great post, thanks for always offering such encouraging words!
~T
Thank you honey, your words are very kind and sweet. Much love 💚
emotions as a mask has a nice ring to it. it is hard to suppress emotions especially during trying times. so whether we like it or not, it spills over. But there are times when we do control ourselves without feeling too good about it later.
one would think that controlling these emotions takes an emotional toll on us at all times until it becomes second nature!
Knowing when to take the mask off and when to take it on is mastering your emotions because we learn when and where to express ourselves. There is a time and place for everything, we just need to find it.
I like the way you say it here @zen-art:
I find myself wearing multiple masks in my daily and working life and they're just tools and positive ones. But I also fond myself throwing on the same masks when I don't want to face up to an emotion or a situation that I really should. Life is a constant journey though, and I'm much better at removing the mask at the right time than I used to be. Great article and insights, thanks for sharing :-)
Good for you!!! I am really happy to hear that. Thank you for your lovely comment and good luck with your masks 💚
'When you are interviewing for a job position, you do not want to show your nervousness or fears, you want to show yourself in the best possible light.'
This is an interesting one, I'm very nervous at interviews.. so much that I surprise myself by landing positions.
They ask the question sometimes..
'What is your weakness'
My answer.. 'Interviews, if you like what you see now it will only get better'.., It seems to work :)
Hahahaha, that is an awesome response, and so clever! No wonder you land positions :)
Wow, a whole different take on this question. I like it how you split owning your emotions up in mask on and mask off. I also liked: you can not die from emotional pain, but you can die from running away from it. Thanks for sharing!
Reminds me a little of the Karate Kid movie with that wax on - wax off stuff :) Thank you for your lovely comment 💚
Another masterpiece of yours ;)
Well, I think I'm good at putting masks on, I thought that was how to own my feelings (keep them for myself) but now that I read this, I remember how many times they ended up popping out without permission.
Oh, there is only so much pushing them down until they come up when we do not expect them. If you let them out from time to time, you will have no such troubles. Mask has to come down on a regular basis. 💚
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I love you guys, sending you much love 💚💚💚
The problem is, when we do not let emotions out, they come out on their own carrying physical consequences, not pretty, not pretty at all. Thank you for your lovely comment 💚
Oh yeah! Great answer @zen-art! I particularly love the ending that we are not our emotions. That is a mantra that inwas taught and works so well.. mine goes
I am not my emotions, i am the experiencer of my emotions.
Thanks for sharing.. removIng the mask and being authentic is a great challenge for many..
Mine is similar, it states "I am not my brain, I am that which is beyond my brain."
Thank you for your lovely comment, keep being your authentic self 💚
Flowers in a plastic rot ... I liked that because it’s true
You don’t adress a niggle and it starts eating you inside out
Thank you for this because I needed a little reminder 😊
I am happy this reminded you to stay true to yourself 💚