The Unassisted Birth of my Daughter: Exactly 1 year ago

You sleep soundly beside me as I write this post. You who have brought so much love into my life, so much laughter and happiness. How can I ever imagine my world without you. Before you joined us, I did not even realize we were missing anything in our lives. But then you come along and You make our family complete.

One year ago today my day started as any other, you were still in my belly, so snug in my womb. I had your sisters to see to, breakfast to make. Dogs and cats to feed, the normal routine of the day. It was warm, as is the norm in the south of Spain and I spend most of my day outside, walking amongst the orange trees smelling the beautiful Orange Blossom. In the weeks leading up to this day you had the hiccups and oh how I loved that sensation. You were so active inside, such a little ninja, my little warrior I would call you.

We recently got a caravan and it was parked right next to a orange tree and an olive tree. I had decided that the caravan would be used as a birthing space if you were to be born in the middle of the night. I remember going into the caravan, that day. I had been using it as a space to relax in and to connect with you .The inside was painted orange and red, with one wall covered in brown paper that was stained a dark orange. I had an altar set up with all my treasures, things that I have carried with me from my travels and so many beautiful things that your sisters have collected for me.

Your younger sister drew a picture of you and your placenta. I remember her giving me this picture and I was so proud of her.

By lunch time that day, I knew that you were on your way. Every now and again I would get a slight pain in my back, I would circle my hips and go back on my way. Take the dogs for a walk to my favourite spot near by and do a few stretches in the sun all the while looking at the mountains in front of me and feeling so excited that I would get to meet you soon. The day progressed and with it my daily life.I told your sisters that I thought that you would be born either that day or the next. I spend time making sure I had everything I needed, sheets, towels, music, candles and coconut water. I had let the girls chose what you would wear once you were born.

Image Source:https://fullmoonsdaughter.com

I sang with your sisters and also by myself. As darkness approached I went into the caravan, wanting to have some time to myself. After a while I went to the truck and said goodnight to your sisters, they were very excited and me and your papa promised to wake them when you arrived. I listened to some music and at 10pm I went for a walk with your papa to check on the acequia, the irrigation system for the land. At 1030pm your Papa went into the truck and I returned to the caravan.

The next few hours I remember listening to music, dancing and feeling at peace. At some stage I really felt you making your way into the world. I needed to move with you, so we danced. Me surrendering and allowing my body to guide me, to become more in sync with you. You knew exactly what you needed to do. I needed to allow my body to remember. No distractions, just candle light, no music, just my voice. My sounds, sounds that only a woman will make when she is birthing her child. Animalistic sounds that vibrated throughout my body.That allowed my body to soften and open up.

I would not call it pain that I experienced but it was strong sensation.At one point though,I doubted myself, one thought popped into my head, what if you were not head down? This doubt created fear, that fear created pain. My sounds intensified and then our dogs began to bark. They woke up your papa, who came to the caravan to check on me. He came just in time to catch you as I birthed you earthside.

You came out with your waters, so perfect and healthy. I knew I wanted a lotus birth so you stayed attached to the placenta. Oh those feels of love and love and more love, of euphoria. All those amazing hormones that kick in. I placed you near my chest and you made your way to my breast, so eager and content.That first time I made eye contact with you, those fireworks of emotions exploding in my heart. This is what love at first sight is.

You were born at 2:57a.m or 2:58a.m. on the 8th April.Your sisters were so happy to meet you for the first time. Right now You are still asleep beside me and in exactly 57 or 58 minutes you will be 1 year old. Happy birthday my beautiful little warrior, you are so loved and adored.

1st Image Source:https://thejoyofthis.com/2010/11/06/the-birth-project-amanda-greavette/

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