Are women who dress provocatively responsible for unwanted attention, or should men learn to control themselves? The @ecotrain QOTW

in ecotrain •  5 months ago

Are women who dress provocatively responsible for unwanted attention???

I do not understand in the first place why should this question be there. Does it mean that if I wear less clothes or something open enough than I am making myself available for a men's attention? And does the same apply to men? Sadly not.

The sad part is, we live in such a society where this is always a concern for women but never for a men.
While in the western countries this may not at all be a concern for anyone, but there are many many places where women dressing has always been questioned and pointed out to put all the blame on by those bloody male chauvinist, including in India. There is a rape case and the minister in India says, It was the fault of the girl, she did not have an appropriate dressing. Ohh really, did that instigate the pig to rape her, otherwise he would be a saint like person.

Exactly this is how the innerself of the man will look when they have such thoughts and feelings

There is enough and enough said about this, but do we see any difference? The answer is NO. The whole problem is in the mind, the dirty, filthy mind of men who take such actions.

Why should a man even come to that stage where he needs to control, that means his thoughts are dirty but somewhere he is trying to suppress it and this does not solve any problem. The recent day new drama is the protest and march, but does anything change at ground level. There is a protest on one side and may be in the same protest a girl is getting molested in so many ways, if not a touch then she needs to go through the brunt of those dirty looks.

The study shows that most of the women, whether they come from educated, uneducated, civilized, uncivilized, poor nations, rich nation background or any part of the world has got molested at-least once in their lifetime. And this can be at any age as young as 2, 3 years or even a 55 years 60 years old. So in the first place I do not believe that dressing has got to do anything with the sick man mentality. Even if they would be decently dressed they will have to go through the same trauma.

I basically call this a sickness for man and I am not even sure if even education will help a man come out of this sickness.
A lot of times we hear reasons like look at the background of the person, he comes from a very low uneducated society and hence he behaves like this animal type. But strangely the most sophisticated educated man, or even a man whose parents are like saints and have inculcated the right values are also doing the same thing in a more sophisticated manner, so there is no relation to anything when it comes to this type of a behavior. It's just the sick mind of the person.
The only thing that can be done to curb this type of behavior from a man is a strict punishment and it should be so strict that out of fear the man will not take any such action, whether it is a dirty look or physical abuse.
No man is born a rapist, as they grow up with whatever influence they become like this is responsible. And it always starts with some cheap comments, dirty gaze and those little things, so if they are stopped at that point of time with a severe punishment they would not dare to go further. No amount of education will help to curb this problem, only a very strict punishment and fear will help and still I do not think it can help 100%.


Sometimes I feel; why are Women so strong at Mind?
I think even God realized that She needs to survive in a place which is full of Animals in the form of Men and hence she needs to be given that extra power to survive.

When I write this, it does not mean all men are like this. Hence please there is nothing to be taken personal.

Thank you Alex @eco-alex for bringing up this very bold topic; I am sure a lot of strong emotions will come out on this one specially from all the women :-)

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I have to agree with you on this topic, it is a serious issue and predominately male - however I fear whatever punishment is given will not reduce it significantly.

Essentially what you are talking about is a genetic desire, an essential part of every single species on this planet to continue existing through reproduction. If a species has no desire to reproduce it would quickly cease to exist - without reproduction in any sort of form all you have is an organism that exists, slowly degrades and dies. To continue it has to reproduce, and that desire is something that is just part of genetic make up - you are not born to learn to reproduce - just like a bird, dog, cat, sheep, cow are not taught how to reproduce - they just know genetics carry far more instructions then just physical development of an organism.

I would like to point out I am not excusing the behaviour you describe - it's abhorrent and does need stamping out - but from a Biologist's point of view the only true way to do that is change male genetic code to repress the urge to reproduce. It becomes even more complicated because wide variations in human genetic make up make it difficult to pin point why some are able to control and channel their urge to reproduce while others just succumb to it.

#thealliance #witness


That's rightly said it's kind of coded in the DNA and then the cultural influences, everything adds up. It is may be impossible to curb this out completly with so much of manipulation that is continuously happening to human genetic structures. But the saddest part is that this is the most gross thing happening and the impacted ones are at majority women

As im in United States your right, its a bit different here. I think there is something to what someone wears that has an effect on how people engage them. Thats regardless of gender and financial status etc. And lets face it, wearing more provacitive clothing will always draw attention to an individual. But rape is never excusable.

But it's not like women are entirely innocent either. Ladies enticing men for there money and/or status is not unheard of. And unfortunately, ladies playing the rape card out of spite or as a power move is not entirely unheard of either.

Understand, im not against what you have to say in this post, but this problem isn't just with men. It's a societal problem. And from both genders, there are good and bad on this issue. Only the different genders approach it (the predators that is) from different angles.

Your right though, rape, molestation, and everything is a problem in the world.

Conversely, think about the young boys and young men that have been abused or exploited by women. Ironically, if one of them comes forward and speaks up they are labelled as a "sissy" or as being a woman hater. The world doesnt take the notion of sexual abuse on men via women seriously.

My only actual critism for your post is this...
Sparing two sentences at the end just to say that not all men are chauvinist rapists, and to not take this personally, is kind of inviting that kind of trouble. I understand what you mean, but when its said like that, it doesn't feel very sincere. Im not mad though.

Good post!


I can completely understand what ypu say but the bitter truth is that the women are the most impacted.
In the western countries it is very different or even in the far east this is not much of an issue but in the Middle east and countries like India this is one of the biggest problem for a woman.
Even myself I do not feel comfortable wearing even a knee length dress and stepping out in certain areas cause most of the men stare as if they have never seen a woman's legs.


that is a sad truth, and i sympathize for you all :-( i wont lie i havent really gotten to travel abroad so i wouldn't really know from your stance. there may not be much i can do directly about, but you ladies have my prayers

I never understood why women are responsible if they are the victim of sexual crimes. Like nobody would blame the victim of a barrage and tell them if they would have pumped and exercised like a badass this would not have happened.


Its all how the society has emerged since the olden days where women have always been the target in some or the other way

IMHO, the short answer for the short question is: yes.
The long answer for the whole problem is:

Most men never rape women, and those men wo does should be in jail. Plain easy. That said, Women should respect men's emotions and feelings, as much as men should respect women's, otherwise it's women's abuse over men, because they know the are provocative and men are not robots. I really like sexy dressed women, but it must be clear that it's like a public social game which both women and men are playing, none are innocent or unaware of this game. As true as men should learn to react nicely to women provocation, also women should learn to user their image to stimulate apropiately to circunstancies, and receive harmless emotive reactions peacefully, without hysteria and manipulation.
Women doing soft pornography with their own image is specially noticeable in instagram network, it's also this in dance clubs, but dance places are supposed to be the right place for that kind of exposure, and instagram is relatively safe because for girls, though not completely, because of the inherent tech mediatization. Other places like street or working areas do not fit so well for tha activity of actively stimulate strong sexual feelings, so women should think twice before they do, why and what for they do it. Of course most times they do not dress sexy unaware of being doing so, they are provoking strong feelings to men around, where they react in one or other way, women are provoking it actively, not pasively like some women pretend to be.
There are few exceptions of women very very cute who doesn't matter how they dress, they will provoke strong feellings anyway, but this are rare cases, chances are you don't need to worry about it. Most women are able to choose if they "dress for success", in a sense or the other.
Best regards


If it is just an admiration of beauty and the clothing it is good but as soon as it gets to a stage of lecherous sight the problem starts. A woman should have the freedom to wear whatever she desire without the fear of getting molested. The right and wrong norms created by the man are as per their convinience because they cannot justify their behaviour.
Yes there are many women who also are doing these gross things but the number compared is very very small. The point is if women or men whoever is responsible needs to be punished

an interesting topic..

I think it's a problem of a man how he reacts on a sexy woman, but there is another question - should a woman wear too sexy for unknown men? Isn't there any problems for her women's energy and mental harmony?

and the degree of this sexuality is different. For me it can be ok, but for other men in other countries - it's too much already


There is a lot of society influence in these things. Like I said in western countries it is not much of an issue. Like in Greece I used to see women wearing very scanty clothing and out on the maim roads while in my place there are times when it feels awkward to even wear a knee length dress in certain places.

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If women wears right clothes then they will be save from victims


That's very absurd, what is the definition of right and wrong dressing. Even small kids get molested what is the reason for that

Of course, the same women are cruel

Nice blog. Men and women should be treated as same.

Males are attracted and stimulated when they see a provocative women and not all males have a moral value of respecting women so women must dress conservatively because not all male persons can control themselves.

what a thought provoking topic, thank you! The issue here for me is how the men are being brought up from small boys. For example, if I am with my husband or any male member of his family, I feel completely safe as I know that they have been brought up to respect women. We can go swimming in our costumes or wear short dresses in summer and be perfectly fine.

I really hate this attitude that if women are dressed scantily they are asking for it. Is a man so sex crazed that if he sees breasts he can't control himself and must "help himself"? No, I don't think that is the case - I think it comes down to how the man views the woman, and that is why it is important to bring little boys up to respect women.

I am not a fan of girls flaunting their bodies in scanty clothes, but honestly, it is their body and they should wear what they want with out fear of rape. ( I mean I cannot even believe I am writing these words!)

I know you are from the Middle East and it gets so hot there - I couldn't imagine not spending our African Summer in my shorts. And they are short. Do I want to be raped? No, of course not, I am merely hot!