This week's @ecotrain #qotw is “What do you need to be happy?”

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We are brought up in a world where we are taught that reliance on others, wealth and material things are the answer to our happiness. From a young age we are drawn in to a world of consumerism which offers sticky tape quick fixes. Mask over your problems by fixing the outside. There is this long standing assumption that we all need to look attractive, adhere to a certain dress code, have a nice house, car, good career. The game of life will supposedly fulfill us and make us happy. We are expected to be happy all the time and if we aren't... well have some pills to mask those feelings of unhappiness.

I see it everywhere. We are not allowed to be unhappy. It seems to be a common theme lately. You only have to look at the way Facebook deals with it's news feed and the agenda they push to only allow happy things because it's been deemed trendy to make a big fuss about things that offend us.
However if we take a step back and actually look at the hidden agenda, we will see that all this manufactured band aid 'happiness' is actually just another way that corporations make huge profits from us. We are taught to rely on other people and material things to dictate the spectrum of happiness.

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AND WE MOSTLY GO ABOUT OUR LIVES NEVER QUESTIONING THIS

I love this short film by Steve Cutts which highlights how our world has come to rely on external measures to fulfill our lives. Aptly named " Happiness", here it is :

We are never taught to look inside us. This is a serious problem. The majority of us have all experienced it at some point and it is something that I never truly understood until I hit my 30's.

Could it be that by never truly having the tools to understand ourselves we are driving ourselves into a further habitual hell of pretending to be happy?

I truly believe that in this human experience of life we need to experience a whole range of emotions in order to see the happiness.

If a plant spent all its time in sunshine, never knowing the rain, it will wilt, crumble and die from the thirst of never experiencing the nourishment it needs in order to survive. It would cease to exist. We see this with desertification.

Could it be by not experiencing the darker emotions, we too will dry out and fade away? Leaving behind a deserted void within us.
By being given medications, buying a new car or expensive handbag or gaining financial rewards we are simply masking our ability to overcome situations that make us unhappy.

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So what do we really and truly need to be happy?

I guess ultimately this is down to each and every one of us in our own unique way. How we achieve it comes down to one principle.

Understanding ourselves, working on being present and self forgiveness.

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Happiness is a state of mind. A way we can choose to be. We are the only ones who have any control over our happiness. Think of the glass half full or half empty attitude.

Self love and care.
I've read countless articles that state that we need to learn to love ourselves before we can truly be happy. Happiness does start from within to an extent. For instance the way we perceive our own self. Who we are. If we are filled with love and kindness, that will resonate from within. In a way this is infectious and we can find that by being in this state of mind we will surround ourselves with an abundance of love. I'm not saying that the day to day stresses that we encounter will go away, just that when we know who we are we understand how to react to things better. A kind of clarity if you will. Whilst for the most part this is true but I do also believe that there are a number of other factors that create happiness in our lives too.

Living in the present and not dwelling on the past or future too much.
Our expectations can play a huge role on how we feel. I'm not saying that we should not have goals or aspirations, but sometimes we expect life to go a certain way and when it doesn't play out as it did in our heads we can feel unhappy about it. One way to overcome this is acceptance. Learning to accept that things don't always go to plan and that we did the best we could under the circumstances sets us up for a better mindset and less disappointment.

Understanding our emotions as a way to grow.
Knowing that it's OK to not live in a permanent state of happiness and learning to understand why we are feeling what we are feeling is a really important tool. We can achieve this by taking time out to reflect and look for solutions that will enable us to learn and grow from our experiences.

Shake off the materialism, live simply.
Consumerism is the cancer of this planet. When we learn to escape the need for material things and learn to be comfortable with less can really help us to feel happier. When we buy things that are purely serving our wants rather than our needs, we are superficially creating happiness. When we have everything we want, we want more and more and the cycle continues. We often get into debt trying to create this outside world fueled by ego. This world makes us rely on others to validate our happiness because we are showing people 'look what I have'. Social acceptance is considered much easier when we have things in common. So if you like makeup or high fashion, you become part of this club where everyone validates each others' happiness. But we are never really and truly happy within. We are just seeking approval from others.
When we discard the fancy clothing, makeup, house decorated to keep up with the Jones's, and find people to connect with that really couldn't give two hoots if you have holes in your sweater or the type of car you drive or even if you hair is a mess. People that care about connection and community. People who care about others. People who are about making this thing called HUMAN EXPERIENCE enjoyable and fun. That is where the happiness is.

Nature and Happiness

Being connected to nature, an observer of a world that has become so foreign to many of us, can help to ground us and gives us a perfect place to take time to think about things. I find that even just a simple walk through the woods or even sitting under a tree gives us a chance to see that the hustle and bustle of society is not required. We are the only beings on this planet that seek to change the natural order of things. Always wanting more. When we connect to nature we can see that LESS is actually more.

One of my favorite places where I live

Following on from the above and to conclude I'm going to leave you with a list of all the things that create happiness in my life.

• My children, somehow someway I managed to create 4 tiny humans. 2 of them are almost grown up and the other 2 are still growing every day. Just watching them and how their minds think. The little endearing things they do and the unconditional love they have for each other and me.

• Walks in nature. As I described above. I guess I'm kinda addicted to it and really do need my fix. I'm fortunate enough to live in a place that has more nature than concrete. For that I am so grateful.

• A roof over my head, clean water, food on the table and perhaps an internet connection. (Although the latter isn't a huge necessity). Say no more.

• Friendships and human connection. Without these my world would be a lonely place. I enjoy meaningful conversations and playing music with my friends.

• A little space for my self. Clearing my head and allowing my self time to rest and recharge the batteries.

What do you need to make you happy? Let me know in the comments. <3

~ONE LOVE~

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