Home education, unschooling or learning all the time. Whatever you want to call it, children learn when they are ready to. My 5 year old son has given me many reminders of this and today was no exception.

From the discovery of my pregnancy with my 3rd child (pictured above), my partner and I decided that we wanted to home educate our children.
After a disastrous attempt at traditional homeschooling my daughter when we moved to Mexico, I was determined to learn from my mistakes and not try to recreate school at home.
When I returned to the UK later that year, I began collecting books from thrift stores and second hand bookstores. Books that I thought may inspire my children's imagination and spark their inquisitive minds.
In the last 4 years I scoured the internet to discover about the many different ways to home educate, found many an idea on Pinterest of activities to do and read books covering topics from parents own journeys to the famous John Holt's Learning All The Time.

Despite all this preparation, there was one thing I hadn't taken into consideration: Children learn and absorb what they have learned when they are ready to. Not when it is forced upon them. I believe that my children are free to make their own decisions. I can guide them and give them advice but it's up to them to take that leap of faith, to trust themselves enough to try new things.

That's the problem with the school system. It assumes that children have to reach certain milestones at a specific age, not taking into account that each child develops at their own pace. They are taught to copy and repeat and then tested on their ability to commit this drone style brainwashing to memory.

Both my girls went through the school system. They did fairly well until they reached 6th Grade / Year 7. They both were advanced readers before age 6 and my younger daughter excelled in most subjects. (Even after 6 months of lousy home education). But then I noticed something strange happen. All during their elementary years, they were constantly praised by teachers and me for being smart. They seemed to breeze through it and that was that.
Now unfortunately, this is a huge mistake I made. By constantly telling them they were smart and clever for doing well on the things they found easy, set them up for a fixed mindset. The problem with that is that as they were met with more difficult tasks, they suddenly started disliking school. They struggled with work and they gave up when it was hard. They developed a fixed mindset.
Not helped by my own struggles with perfectionism and my own fixed mindset.

I accept that and have opened my mind to learn new ways, adopt a growth mindset too. Not only to set an example to my kids but also for my own mental health. Having a fixed mindset creates unnecessary worry and anxiety. It eliminates the ability to problem solve. Not just with academia, but also in everyday life too. It holds us back and stops us from growing.

What I am learning from observing my children's learning journey.

I live in a place where my children are the only ones who don't attend the school. Although it's legal to educate children at home and this is a small island where everyone knows everything about each other I am often asked how my son and daughter are progressing. They ask what I've been doing to 'teach' them and I've even been subject to a home inspection.
When I say that I observe and encourage , I feel that they are judging me. I begin to question whether I'm doing the right thing by having them learn at home. I become filled with self doubt about my ability to guide them.
But then it's in moments like today that I am reminded that my children are on the right track and my fears are subdued.
Today my son took it upon himself to spend some time forming words, asking me how to spell the names of family members and writing his own creations, asking me to read them out loud after. We laughed and giggled until our stomachs hurt . It was joyous and formed a beautiful connection between us. He then proceeded to write out some basic addition. He was trying hard and enjoying every moment. He was interested and now that interest was turning into well formed letters and words.
Just like when he learned to ride his bike without training wheels or when he taught himself to swing without someone pushing him. I am reminded today that he can and he will learn to be literate and numerate, on his terms and in his own time when he feels confident to do so. These milestones just click into place when it feels right for him.

My children continue to teach me valuable lessons on how to trust and let go.

I'm so grateful for living this journey with them and am learning to embrace what the future holds for us, rather than worry about it.

I'd love to hear from other home educating / unschooling parents. Have you experienced self doubt on your journey? What do you do to ease those fears you have? Let me know in the comments below. I'd love to connect with other parents sharing similar journeys.

~ONE LOVE~

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