Being British I was brought up in the good old British way! I'll never forget the famous Monty Python sketch where a man is run over by a car and keeps insisting very politely that he is totally OK, and that it must have been his fault! Oh, dare we share how we really feel? As an infant I was quite expressive with my feelings of anger or sadness and used to cry and scream quite a lot.. so I'm told. That was until I had two step fathers who punished and scolded me whenever I did cry, until I finally learned to stuff my feelings and would not let them out. What would happen instead was that once a year or so I would just burst out crying for no apparent reason, and would have no idea why! That can't be good?! Until the age of about 25 I really had no idea how I was feeling inside, and went about my days projecting positivity and happiness to all. I NEVER got angry with anyone, no matter what they did, and even prided myself in it. I also had no ability to say NO to anyone, and whatever someone asked me I would simply do. This got me into quite some trouble on occasions! One story that springs to mind was when my brother dared me to strip naked whilst on the school bus home ( I was only 5). I happily obliged without a second thought, and when I got off the bus stark naked I was greeted by my very shocked mother whilst the bus was full of kids laughing their heads off!

Wind the clock forward a few decades and I'm happy to say that things have changed quite a lot! Phewph! I used to be very ashamed of my emotions, even if they were positive. I would be embarrassed to be too happy or joyful, and just as resistant and ashamed to looking sad. I used to try to hide being uncomfortable or angry, and I'm sure that made me look even more so! This wasn't good or healthy for me, and I'm sure that had something to do with getting a bout of Psoriasis Nervosa (spots ALL over my body for almost a year) when I was 16. Learning to overcome this emotional shame, or shyness was something that I began to learn once I left home and in particular on my first journey to India at age 21. At around this age I started to try out various kinds of self improvement and therapy workshops. Louise Hay's 'You Can Heal Your Life' was one that springs to mind and until today much of what I learned there has stuck with me. I can remember doing one exercise when we were asked to try to think about something we were angry about and write them down. Most of the group had no trouble doing this, and many people shared things that they were angry about. I, however, came up a blank! I could not feel any anger inside, and felt quite fortunate really after listening to some of the stories of abuse and even rape from some of other participants. I think that even then I knew somewhere deep down that I must have some anger, but i really couldn't touch it or find any specific reasons to be angry. Let me tell you, things have changed, and I can now really feel quite some anger toward some of my family members and friends. But... do I share it with them, that is the question!?

It's fair to say that I am a pretty emotional person, and am very comfortable sharing my emotions with others. That's not to say that I go around blurting out everything that I feel to people, because that does still feel inappropriate.. and I usually feel like people don't really want to know. When I pick up the phone and people ask me how I am doing, I usually respond that I am fine, even if i am not. That is when I'm talking to strangers or people who I am not that close to.. IF, however, it is a good friend then I will tell them the truth. So I think I have found a healthy balance of being open with my emotions with others, which is an important point to make. Being too open with our emotions can be too much for many people to handle, and I think there is a time and place for everything. There are simply times when it is not appropriate to show our emotions, and we can best just keep them private. Learning when and how much to share is something that is quite personal and different for everyone, and we all do need to find our own balance. Some people really do go around sharing everything about how they feel to even complete strangers, and whilst that may work for them, that is not something that I am comfortable with (yet).. Having said that, I LOVE it when people do this with me, and am usually quite happy and comfortable to listen for a long time to other peoples feelings. I feel like that is a gift I can give to them, and also feel very honored and special that someone would choose me to reveal their deepest feelings to.

So getting back to this question of the week! How open am I about my emotions! As I have said at the beginning, to be open about our emotions we have to firstly know what they even are! Actually knowing how we feel is something that many people do not know, and I am happy to say that I am streets ahead of where I was as a kid in this department.. although I still have a ways to go and very often still don't really know why I am upset or in a bad mood some days.. but I can now usually find out when I look within. As for how open I am about my emotions with others, I would say I am really quite open, as you can probably tell by reading this post and others I have written. My emotions feel like my life source, and they are the most important things we have. To share them with others is an intimate and important part of life, and by doing so we can really connect with others and forge deep and meaningful relationships. Sharing our emotions with others is like honuring them! I am definitely not one to engage in endless superficial chit chat, and would rather just be alone than live like that! Our emotions are what we take from the world. This is actually a really important point, and I would like to try to illustrate this by asking you a question!

Think about an experience or occasion that you will never forget, one that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Now as you remember this, ask yourself this question! Right now, as you are recalling this experience what is most prevalent in your memory?
Are you remembering the details and specifics of this event such as colours, objects, people, what year it was etc.. OR are you mostly remembering the FEELING you had with the details as more like background noise? This is an interesting exercise, because it is one that can help us to see and know that it is our emotions that we hold dear to our hearts, and they are the most important part of our lives. It is how we feel, and not really exactly what happened that we hold on to and cherish. We can relive those feelings forever, and keep them alive in our hearts. Let us all remember this, because we are emotional beings, and it is our feelings and emotions that drive everything. With that said, we should honour them, and I think we should share them with others so that life is rich and full of colour and vibrancy!

In my opinion, being open with our emotions is an essential part of a healthy and functional life! So many people go around like a closed book living in denial or with a mask on, because they don't dare to delve into their inner world. I think that is a very important point, that many people who are not open with their emotions with others are in fact not very open with their emotions with themselves! I believe that when we are honest and make the effort to really look inside as to what is happening emotionally, we can then very easily start to share this with others. If you do this, you might be surprised as the response and new connections that you make with others, because other people are often doing exactly the same thing and you might just be giving them a gift and opportunity to do the same! That is where the real value of emotions comes into play.

Do you know how you are feeling right now? I would like to leave you with an emotional wheel, that can help you to discover how you are really feeling! It can be hard to identify our emotions, and by using this wheel you can start the discovery into your inner world.

DISCOVER HOW ARE YOU FEELING
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A GIFT FOR YOUR KIDS!
THE LEGO TODAY I FEEL CHART

What better gift can we give to our children than an emotional education? Very few kids are taught to learn about their emotins and how they feel, and so if you have children I would like to give you this very special PDF that you can use so simply with your children. Just print it out and let them show you and themselves how they are feeling every day. THis is such a simple and yet POWERFUL exercise for them and will be a great lesson in their own emotional intelligence and health.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PDF TO PRINT OUT

HOW TO USE IT

Print off the LEGO chart, either in full color or in black and white. I only have a black and white printer so I couldn't print it in color. Cut the LEGO heads into cards. Laminate. Cut the LEGO heads into cards. Add a Velcro dot to the top of the headless body. Then add Velcro dots to the back of each LEGO head.

Your child can add one of the six different LEGO heads to the LEGO man's body. The emotions include scared, angry, happy, sad, excited, and surprised.
Encourage your child to pick a LEGO head and then read the complete sentence out loud. So if they pick the happy head, then they will say, "Today I feel happy." Then ask a follow up why question!
(MORE INFO)

Thank you @wombloom for posing this 3 part question of the week. It has been an unexpected journey to answer them!

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