Sympathy is Like Sugar. Don't Pour Too Much of It.
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Have you ever found yourself 'feeling sorry' for someone?
It could be somebody near or dear - or it could be a complete stranger.
Have you ever showed it?
Well... if you have done this with a few different people then you would know that different people react to sympathy in different ways.
Some will warm to you, as your sympathy offers warmth in their cold lives.
Others will distance themselves from you - both politely and not.
Others still might react with hostility.
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If you think about it its not only humans that react in such a way. Trying to touch and treat a pet that is injured could lead to that pet attacking you out of defensive instinct.
Of course when it comes to humans there can be other factors at play.
For instance, some of us are proud and do not want to seem weak (also a common pet behavior).
Others might simply interpret one's sympathy as being contrived - considering it as pity.
In truth a lot of people feel being the receiver of pity to be a negative thing.
It makes one feel less human - less worthy ... or simply... 'less'.
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I kind of know how it feels to be on the receiving end of unwanted sympathy. I know that whoever it was meant no harm by it. This does not mean that the negative connotations of sympathy and pity do not affect oneself anyway.
Now some people will accept sympathy. Some might even accept handouts. Those who 'would' accept handouts might even expect or feel 'entitled' to it. Such persons either have different values o their situations were desperate.
The truth is that such charity does not give a person dignity. It gives no reason to feel pride. It also does not make one a better person.
What a fair number of such persons truly want is simple understanding. Somebody to share their troubles with and one from whom to perhaps ask advice.
Through the seed of communication we are drawn closer together. It may even be possible to find a way to assist that does not classify as a handout.
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Have you ever felt yourself to be on the giving or receiving end of such sympathy? Was it for you a less or more pleasant experience? I'd love to hear your opinion and views down in the comments below.
If you found this post interesting and would like to share this with your followers and friends then a resteem is always appreciated.
Also do get in touch with me in comments below. A civil conversation can go a long way.
Sincerely,
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I don't like receiving a sympathy but advice. I don't want people feel pity on me for anything. The only thing I want is an advice which I always have it. There was once a man who felt pity on me and caused me to be dependent on him. At some point, they will feel tired too because they're crutches to someone's else life.
It's hard to let go of dependency when you're in depression but in the end, all we have is ourselves. A little sympathy and empathy are good now and then but like you said don't pour it too much
Some people actually appreciate (or at least enjoy) the pity of others (especially when such amounts to material benefit). Feeling depressed 'can' foster an inclination towards accepting or seeking sympathy. For these it can be difficult to ween themselves off such dependency - as in a sense such is their quality-of-life-support, and the healing process can take much longer.
I personally think that it comes down to one's viewpoint on life. A persons with a modest degree of pride will have mixed feelings about receiving pity.
It is true though that it is possible to pull one's 'sympathy muscle' and there is such a thing as 'overstaying one's welcome'.
Thank you for giving this a read and for the up-vote @macchiata! :c)
Neither sympathy, nor empathy would I classify as one of my strengths.. or listening for that matter.
Maybe everyone should just write me then I'd do a better job of understanding.
Also depression is not something I've ever really struggled with so maybe that's why I clicked, thanks for writing! 😄
Thank you for the up-vote and comment @theroadtoriches. :c)
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. While we rightfully are better served focusing upon making the most of our strengths, a courtesy effort to shore up what we perceive as our weaknesses is rarely an ill-invested endeavor. It takes the edge off.
I personally hope to see a day where more people exist like yourself who have not directly experienced the kinds of hurts that some consider their daily reality. :c)
Thanks again for stopping by!
Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.
- Mahatma Gandhi